altimit | milky's bullshit containment zone

[ It's a real shame how well this works on him as his sobs die down, but that only means that he needs to say his full piece, and he frowns as he finally pulls back so Sheza can see his tear-stained cheeks and swollen eyes. He looks like a real mess, but Sheza should be able to accept him at his worst like this anyway. ]

Then... prove that you'll keep it through your actions.

[ He's stepping right beside a landmine here, but Sheza should know what this means—words aren't quite enough for him. Sheza needs to act like he remembers their promise. ]

Don't go off doing things like that anymore without telling me, even if you think it's small. Act in a way that lets me know you're actually thinking about me.

[ ... ]

Make it so that I don't have to doubt how much you love me.

[Seeing Yuui like this hurts. It further fragments an already broken heart, but isn't this only appropriate? If he can't endure the results of the damage he's caused, then he doesn't deserve Yuui at all. He doesn't deserve this second chance. Isn't that right?

So he bears with Yuui's scolding knowing he fully deserves it. Yael lowers his head and nods, listening and penitent. Yael thought he'd considered his actions carefully before taking them, but he clearly hadn't. Not nearly enough to matter.]

That's the thing, isn't it? I've damaged your trust in me.

[No reason to beat around the bush here.]

[ He takes a deep, shuddering breath before he nods. It's a confirmation he knows that Sheza very much doesn't want to bear witness to, but he can't lie.

Fai refuses to hide any of his feelings now. There's no going back to obfuscating things for the sake of Sheza's comfort. ]

You have.

[ But he reaches out to take one of Sheza's hands in his own nevertheless. He'll lay his cards out on the table, leave his heart completely bare for Sheza to step on if he likes. It's only fair that he lets Sheza all the way in. ]

Though that doesn't mean it can't be rebuilt, if you're willing to work for that.

[ Because that's the real fact of the matter to Fai here. Does Sheza want to work for that? ]

I want to be with you more than anyone else. I want to get back to our real lives and move in together, for us to travel back to each of our homes together, to find things we like doing together. I want to build a life for us both.

[ Fai sniffles, just a little bit, mildly embarrassed that he can't fully control his own emotions when saying something so important. He persists anyway, however, because he thinks Sheza deserves to hear his full thoughts. He's intentionally kept a lot of his feelings at bay to spare both himself and Sheza, but it's only done them both a disservice in the end. The fact that he thought he never would have been able to tell Sheza how he feels is what propels him further, pushes him to say more.

His fingers squeeze around Sheza's hand nervously. ]

I couldn't say that I love you before because I was afraid of how much I wanted those things. Even though you said you loved me, there was a part of me that was scared that you didn't want all of that as much as I do.

[...If you're willing to work for that. The notion that he might not makes Yael's nose crinkle, eyes briefly narrowing, but his expression neutralizes quickly. He can't argue with that Yuui believes about him now. He's lost his trust, so it's only natural to imagine he's lost much more than that too.

He has a lot of rebuilding to do. Yuui's nervous fingers tighten around his and Yael squeezes right back, not letting him lose his composure and doubt his words. They're words Yael has needed to hear for a long, long time, and more importantly, words Yuui has needed to speak for his own sake.]

...All I can ask you to do is believe what I say, but that's easier said than done. If I have to spend the rest of my life proving to you that I love you, that's fine. That's what I planned on doing anyway.

I'll come to believe what you say. It wasn't hard for me to trust you in the first place, you know.

[ And he doesn't think it'll be all that difficult for him to do so again either. Though... he knows that it'll take some time to trust Sheza again with some things over others. ]

Besides, you won't be the only one proving their love either. After the way I hurt you before, I think it's only fair that I do the same.

[ He smiles softly, reaching up with his free hand to wipe at errant tears. ]

Who says that's a good thing?

[They really should've taken their time, but it's far too late for regrets now. Maybe round two will treat them better? For what it's worth, Yael will be trying his hardest to become the sort of man Yuui deserves. As he is now, he's not even close.]

Mm? You hurt me before?

[Yael snorts through his nose. He's not fishing for compliments here, really! He's just saying.]

Weirdo. You should be holding me to account right now. You know, making demands and pushing me around.

I've hurt you plenty, though. You know that well.

[ He denied Sheza love over and over and over again, after all, even though he knew how he felt. ]

And I think you also know that I can't push you around right now. I'm too happy to have you back.

[ A lot of his anger has dissipated, and while it might rise back up to a simmer later on, for now it's gone. ]

The only demand I have right now is that you stay as close to me as possible.

[Yuui... Seeing him like this, hearing the softness in his voice? Affection blooms in Yael's chest and he can't help himself, arms sliding low to scoot Yuui into his lap.

His hands return to the curves of his sides, the broad expanse of his back, the slopes of his shoulders. Yael takes his time answering Yuui because he's busy peppering his neck with kisses, lips traveling up his jawline and stopping just short of his ear.]

You got it. I won't leave your side until you give me the go ahead.

[ It's an easy motion, adjusting his legs so they easily frame Sheza's thighs as he sits back against his legs, his arms draping around his neck. This position almost feels like home, it's so warm and familiar.

His eyes slip closed as he focuses on the way those lips feel against his skin, soft and comforting. It stirs affection in him, in his chest and all the way down low in his belly. ]

If I never do?

[ He hopes that Sheza would be just as content to stay by his side in that case. ]

Mm.

[A hum of acknowledgement— he's too busy marking Yuui up with kisses to respond properly. His skin is soft and warm beneath his lips, flower petals kissed by the sun. Even his scent is sweet and inviting, but hasn't it always been? Yuui smells like home.

It's all very tentative and soft, these touches and kisses. Yuui has regained enough trust to let him in, but Yael won't push his limits. He'll only move as his prince demands and he'll be content following his every order.]

Then I'll stay here. I've got everything I need right here, don't I?

[Smirking, he taps Yuui's lips with a kiss. Chaste!]

Edited 2023-11-06 02:00 (UTC)

[ He sighs, light and comfortable, though the way his fingers lightly grip Sheza's armor betrays some of his budding feelings. ]

You do.

[ That kiss was nice, but it was much too chaste, and so Fai is quick to chase it and press his lips against Sheza's for something more concrete. He's quick to nudge his tongue against Sheza's lips to urge them to part, almost desperate to taste him. But as quick as he was to escalate, he's just as fast in pulling away.

With a little smile, he leans forward, nuzzling against Sheza's neck. ]

You know what I want, don't you?

[Mmmh. It's not easy to resist temptation when Yuui presents it to him on a platter. Never has been. Still, Yael's prepared to do just that, ignoring the call of Yael Jr in favor of respecting Yuui's boundaries. It's too soon, isn't it? It's still too soon.]

...Hah.

[Or so he thought. What can he say? Yael's been wrong more than once in his life. Yael's lips part effortlessly to invite Yuui's tongue inside, almost desperate to taste him, but— welp, joke's on him. He should've expected Yuui to do what he does best and act like a goddamn tease. Yael's grin slants to one side when Yuui pulls back.]

I've got a hunch. Are you comfortable going that far?

[ It's hard to know whether or not it's still too soon until they're in the throw of it, or at least that's how Fai feels. He won't know exactly where he is until he feels Sheza's cock twitch against him. So, until he does, he'll operate off of a hunch.

And that hunch? It leads him to one answer. ]

Yes.

[ Though it's more than just wanting it. He wants something to show for all of the grief his body has gone through over the last two weeks, something to tell his body that everything is back the way that it should be. And while sex isn't always the answer to these things, he feels like it is right now. However... it's more than just sex, isn't it?

Pressing a kiss right below Sheza's ear, he grazes his teeth lightly against that sensitive patch of skin. Then, his voice drops to a whisper. ]

I need you.

[Intimacy with Yuui is more than just sex. It's about connecting with him, feeling their hearts beat in tandem, and maybe Yael's forgotten that. Maybe that's what led them astray the last time they tried to have sex, and maybe even the time before that?

At some point, sex became sex for sex's sake, on some level or another. Yael won't let himself repeat his mistake. That's why Yael doesn't let his brain shut off and go into unga bunga mode the instant he hears those three little words— I need you. Before Yuui can feel so much as a twitch downstairs, Yael hoists him up, and lays him out on the bed.]

The feeling's mutual.

[But Yuui's going to need to be patient. By the time he's squirming in place and sweating out of his skin, he'll know for certain whether he's ready to have sex again or not.

The mattress groans beneath Yael's weight, knees and elbows bracketing either side of Yuui's hips and shoulders. Situated above him, Yael inches the zipper lining the front of his top down until everything from his collarbones up are exposed.

Yael kisses his pale skin, those birdlike bones, and licks the hollow at the base of his throat. Should Yuui goosebump, he'll reward him with a nettling bite, with the tiniest of bruises to remember him by. He's just getting started, after all. Why rush?]

Edited 2023-11-06 02:55 (UTC)

[ The feeling is mutual because of course it is, but hearing it sets his heart aflutter anyway. Words like that are what he needs to hear, what he needs to have confirmed instead of assumed or left unsaid. They can't do that anymore between them, not until they're sure of what is all that's unsaid.

He grabs on a little tighter when Sheza lifts him, but he allows himself to be set back against the bed, relaxing into the mattress even as Sheza towers over him. The way the mattress dips underneath his weight is so comforting and familiar that it makes his eyes well up again, though he's careful to smile so that Sheza knows he isn't making Yuui nervous but that it's the warmth of his body instead.

His hands settle somewhere along Sheza's back or his waist (Fai isn't paying attention, only caring about the way Sheza feels underneath his hands rather than anything else) as he tips his head back, exposing his neck further. Those kisses don't quite work him up, not yet, but they draw out little breaths and sighs anyway as his skin flushes and little goosebumps form. That bite manages to get his fingers twitching against his clothing, but he's determined to let himself get worked up slowly.

This is about connecting, about taking comfort in the pleasure of one another. Maybe, in a way, this is starting over.

As a testament to that idea, he decides not to let what he's thinking right now go unsaid. ]

I love you.

[Yuui is like his favorite dessert, sweet on the tongue and good to the very last bite. Yael was the kind of child to save his desserts for last and eat them as slowly as possible, making sure to savor it properly. Who knew when he'd get another treat? When every meal might be your last, you learn to appreciate what you have.

He's a damn fool, losing sight of that, but he's being given a second chance here. Yael doesn't let it go to waste, licking over goosebumped skin and letting his lips linger over Yuui's thumping pulse.

It's only when Yuui says those three little words that Yael pauses, looking up at him with eyes slightly widened. Love... Yeah, he loves Yuui too. Like his favorite dessert, it's because he loves him that he'll take his time to savor him.

Yael smiles one of his rare smiles: the one that's gentle, soft, and reaches right up to the corners of his eyes. Cupping Yuui's cheek in his palm like a precious treasure, Yael bumps their foreheads together.]

Ana Bahebak.

[Fragment automatically translates his words: I love you. Sealing their lips together, Yael twines their tongues together, savoring this as well. Kissing Yuui never gets old. Every time is their first time, every kiss sweet. No matter how many years pass, Yael will never tire of his taste.]

[ And Fai himself knows not to take it for granted, too. There's a stark contrast between what is simply taking enjoyment in someone else's body and savoring it, and he won't let this moment slip him by. He'll relish in the way Sheza takes his time slowly dragging his lips and tongue over his skin. Where there might normally be impatience building up inside of him, there's an absence of it now, instead replaced with the desire to live in this moment as long as possible. He has Sheza back, and he won't be taking that for granted.

So he smiles back, the blue of his eyes softening in the same way Sheza's eyes crinkle ever so slightly. He allows the full weight of his cheek to rest in that palm, too, making his cheek lift up enough that his smile grows uneven.

But... ah. His studying has paid off, hasn't it? Fragment doesn't autotranslate Sheza's words, because he knows them already. He's written them down in his notebook, his heart beating wildly as he commits that term to memory. He can't react, though, not when Sheza is twining their tongues together and Fai is eager to savor his taste. And savor it he does, letting the kiss stay at this slow pace while his hands roam along Sheza's broad shoulders and down his back.

They part eventually, though, and Fai is all flushed cheeks and soft smile as he looks up at him, tilting his head slightly against the pillow underneath him.

How good is his rote learning...? Time to test it out. ]

Ya Rouhi.

[ You are my soul. My dear beloved.

He can learn plenty of things, after all. ]

[You are my soul. My dear beloved.

What runs warmer? The blood in his lover's veins, or the heat that spills over his skin, thrums in his ears? Ya Rouji. You are my dearest, my beloved. Damn, he must be smiling like an idiot right now, but all Yael can feel is the eat tinting the tips of his ears. To think Yuui's been studying his language without even telling him...]

...You're too much. What have I gotten myself into?

[Words spoken with no small amount of fondness.

Yael unzips Yuui's top the rest of the way down and bears his chest, pressing one final kiss to his lips before his attention turns to twisting and licking his nipples. He said he'd shower Yuui with the affection he deserves, but he's going to do him one better. Why not tell Yuui what he loves most about this body of his?]

Hehe. You've got the pinkest nipples I've ever seen. They're real cute.

[As he says that, he sharply twists one between his fingers.]

[ He can't keep the warm laugh that bubbles up in his chest and escapes when the tips of Sheza's ears grow red. Sheza may not believe it, but Fai will always think he's incredibly cute in moments like this. His smile is brighter and lovelier than just about any smile he's ever seen, so he can't help but briefly cup his cheek.

But Sheza moves on before the moment can be dragged out any longer, which is just as well. He doesn't hold back the little gasps and heavy breaths that each lick and twist of his nipples draws out, ensuring that Sheza is rewarded with every little reaction he can offer. He reaches up and underneath Sheza's armor, too, his fingers settling on the warm, muscular expanse of his bare skin.

His fingers twitch at that twist, his cheeks turning a light shade of pink. ]

How can you say that so easily?

[ What an embarrassing compliment, is all he can think. Fai's smile doesn't dim any, however. ]

[Yuui truly is at his cutest when he's giggling and smiling like a schoolboy. It was that carefree, jovial nature of his that attracted Yael to him in the first place. Sure, he also found him infuriating, but there must be some merit to the notion that opposites attract.

Yael's laughter isn't nearly so bubbly, instead rumbling low in his throat, but it's mirthful and warm.]

Because it's the truth. [What next, what next...?] Your smile's beautiful too. Your laugh is charming. The blue eyes are a plus too.

[Leaving his perch above Yuui's nipples, Yael slides lower to... blow a big, fat raspberry on his tummy. Is he ticklish?]

[ Those other compliments are embarrassing too, and he can feel his cheeks grow warmer with each one. It's rare that he flushes when someone compliments his looks, but it's different with Sheza. For someone so prickly, vocal compliments aren't common. Add physical intimacy into the mix and he truly is a goner.

The fact that Sheza is the first to compliment him like this during sex isn't lost on him either, and he's thinking about just that as he watches Sheza move lower and lower— ]

Ah!

[ The raspberry is a shock and he practically yelps before attempting to curl in on himself, involuntarily squeezing Sheza between his thighs.

Turns out he is, in fact, ticklish. With a laugh, Fai playfully smacks at Sheza's shoudler. ]

Hey!

[Goddamn, he's in love and it's horrifying. Yael's laughing at himself just as much as he's laughing at Yuui, lifting his face from his belly with a lopsided grin.

Cutie. This man is impossibly cute, a thought that would never have occurred to Yael before they began dating. It just goes to show that the right dick really does change a man.]

Something wrong, honey bee? You're cute when you fuss.

[Before Yuui can get a word in edgewise, Yael casually divests him of his shorts. He'll leave his underwear in place, but he needs these leggies bare and visible. Settling between them, the soft ends of Yael's hair brush along Yuui's skin as he marks his inner thighs with kiss after kiss.]

[ He laughs, mildly embarrassed, as he lifts his hips to help Sheza with his shorts. His legs part easily around Sheza, like they're meant to be right around him. ]

Do you mean when I'm angry? You seem to like that.

[ With a sigh, Fai settles back, brushing his hand through Sheza's hair before letting his hand fall back onto the mattress. His inner thighs aren't quite as sensitive as other parts of his body, but the warmth of Sheza's mouth is more than welcome. Fai's breaths grow slightly sharper as he subtly shifts to spread his legs a little further, his eyes slipping shut. ]

[His thighs may not be the most sensitive place on his body, but they're still deserving of love, aren't they? This is Yael's apology in action, his lips leaving no inch of thigh unkissed, his free hand reaching up to hold onto Yuui's.]

Nah. When you're complaining over little things or getting upset over something you know doesn't matter. That's when you're cute.

[Yael doesn't sweat the small stuff, but he and Yuui are different animals in that regard. Before moving onto Yuui's lower legs, Yael presses a brief kiss to his groin. Cheeky, cheeky.]

But you're sexy when you're angry. Scary too.

[ Fai is quick to intertwine their fingers, and he finds himself staring down at the way their hands slot together perfectly, his thin fingers neatly filling the space between Sheza's much stronger fingers. He lets out a breath that's more of a puff of air when Sheza presses his lips to the area already begging for attention, but he doesn't complain.

It's nice being treated like this, as if he's a precious material laid out before Sheza that he needs to mold with his lips and fingers. ]

So you like my worst traits the most. You're so strange.

[ But there's a note of fondness in his voice anyway. He can't help it, even with the hurt and uncertainty wrapped up and intermingled with his love for Sheza. ]

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