altimit | milky's bullshit containment zone

[ Fai has no problem doing just that, looping his knees right over Sheza's broad shoulders. ]

You didn't think my joke was very funny either, you know.

[ His joke being the nipple twist... but once again, at least they have a terrible sense of humor together. Settling back with ease, he lets Sheza take the lead... or rather, the lick.

Despite his attitude, it doesn't take long at all for Fai to clutch at the sheets underneath him, fingers gripping at the fabric and leaving a little wrinkled pattern behind as he gasps and sighs. ]

Have I ever told you... you're really good at this?

[ Probably. ]

Mm.

[Yael's pleased hums vibrate along Yuui's skin. Yes, compliment him more, mlem mlem.]

I've heard that once or twice. I've heard my handjobs aren't half bad either.

[Ah, but what is a claim without proof? Looping an arm around Yuui's thigh, Yael takes hold of his cock and gently, steadily, pumps. He'd have been an amazing trombonist, you know.]

[ And what better way to practice that instrument than to slide his fingers up and down Fai's tromboner? His cock twitches heavily in Sheza's hand, his arousal not having waned even the smallest amount despite Sheza's teasing. ]

Who else is telling you about your handjobs?

[ It's a soft barb without any real prongs to it, a comeback that Fai doesn't care much to argue or dig out an answer to. Why would he, when Sheza needs to focus on eating him out?

Besides, it doesn't matter anyway, not when Fai is spilling onto Sheza's hand and onto his stomach after not much longer. His thighs squeeze around Sheza's head, just a little. ]

Ah...

[ Only mildly embarrassing. ]

[Ah.

That good, eh? Yael stays his sassy remarks and his self-satisfied smirks. Knowing Yuui couldn't last is a compliment, after all.

Yael's hand eases to a crawl, mindful not to overstimulate Yuui, while his tongue works its way inside of him. What's the holdup? A little pregaming (or prenutting, if you will) only means he'll last longer when they move onto the apology that is Yael's dick in his ass.]

[ He's a little bit more sensitive, the push of Sheza's tongue riding along the edge of being nearly too much in combination with his hand, but the slower approach keeps him from writhing and wiggling around. ]

Go on. Smirk the way I know you want to.

[ At least it's easy to hear the smile in his voice as he squeezes around Sheza's head with his thighs again. ]

[Hey, don't distract him from his meal? Yael chuckles, amusement rumbling along Yuui's delicate flesh, before he pulls up to properly respond.]

Nah. I'm flattered. What are you all embarrassed about? It felt good, right?

Of course it did.

[ He'll heap on the praise that he can tell Sheza badly wants to hear.

But he takes the moment to ruffle Sheza's hair, making a mess of it. ]

So get back to it.

[Him? Desperate for praise? Fuck off with that. Yael hears what Yuui is trying to do and huffs, foregoing any further licking to sit up and take his dick out. Much like a certain twink he could name, his cock's engorged with blood, the tip flushed dark.]

My orders, sir?

[Cheeky, cheeky. Yael's hand settles loosely around his cock, tap tap tapping the tip against Yuui's asshole while he awaits his orders.]

[ He doesn't hide the way he hungrily eyes Sheza's cock—or what he can see of it from this angle anyway. Sometimes his size is a bit of a shock, but it's nothing he hasn't taken many times in the past.

The anxiety he was worried would resurface when this moment came doesn't, and so he isn't worried about relaxing enough to make this easy on the both of them. Being intimate in different ways for the last month or so has given him enough time to build some of his intimacy related trust back. The other trust he has for Sheza... well, that's a matter he won't think about right now.

Huffing out a laugh, he lightly taps his heels against Sheza's back. ]

Fuck me.

[ Spare cock, sir? ]

[It's always such a compliment seeing the way Yuui's eyes widen when they first settle over his fully hard cock. No one makes him more aware of his body, and admittedly pleased, as Yuui does. He makes Yael self-conscious in a way that excites and innervates him, settling over Yuui to pepper his cute little face with kisses.]

You make me feel like a king. Spoil me any more and I'll turn into a dictator.

[Or, you know, a dicktator...

But enough of that. Yael lines up, teasing Fai's entrance with the tip of his cock, and gingerly presses in. Slow, nice and slow, letting Yuui acclimate to the girth of his cock. Like this, it feels like their first time all over again, eliciting shivers and little throaty sighs.]

Give me a minute. I'm studying.

[ If he weren't practically pinned to the bed with his knees over Sheza's shoulders, Fai would wiggle around and fight back against those kisses, but he allows Sheza to indulge, even through the cheesy comment. Just this once.

He doesn't know how he could possibly make Sheza feel like a king, not when Fai is the one that feels like he's got the reins in this relationship, but that he feels like that at all... he'll accept it. As long as Sheza feels good in this relationship, that's all he wants.

With Sheza's size, it's certainly an adjustment as he's stretched open and filled like this for the first time in a while, and he closes his eyes in an attempt to keep himself fully relaxed. It hasn't been so long that he's forgotten what it feels like to have Sheza inside of him, but it's been long enough that his body is more sensitive, his thighs already quivering before they've even gotten started. But this is that closeness he had been seeking, needing, and it makes him forget to breathe for a moment.

Acclimating to Sheza again is a reminder that he's here, that he's alive. With a slightly choked laugh, he opens his eyes to take in Sheza's face. ]

What could you possibly be studying?

[Good question, Yuui. It's one Yael takes his sweet time answering, allowing himself time to reacclimate to the feeling of being wrapped up in his lover's body. He's itching to move, but he doesn't just yet, laughing a little as he wills his hips to stay for just a little longer.]

Your body. How you feel inside.

[It's a relief, knowing Yuui's body isn't actively resisting him.]

You feeling alright? It's been a while.

Mmm...

[ Definitely the right answer, because Fai can't begrudge him for wanting to take in the way his body feels. Fai's doing the same, after all. ]

I'm alright. No panic.

[ His eyes are a little watery, though, and his vision is slightly blurry.

But that's for an entirely different reason. ]

[The tears don't go unnoticed, but how could they? Yael's made one too many mistakes with Yuui in the past, overlooking signs that should have been obvious to him. He won't allow himself to slip up the same way twice.

Yael lifts his hand and thumbs at the hollow beneath Yuui's eye, leaving his palm settled around the curve of his cheek.]

What's wrong?

[ He places a hand over Sheza's, smiling up at him. After the last time he tried to bottom, he knows that he needs to quickly assuage Sheza's worry.

This isn't his fault. Although... maybe he'll think that it is. After all, he's the one who went off on his own and put himself into danger.

Fai quickly pushes those negative thoughts out of his mind. He won't let those thoughts ruin this. Vocalizing his feelings can come after the moment is over. ]

I'm glad you're alive... and that this isn't a dream.

[Such sweet words don't feel like his to accept, but Yuui won't be happy if he doesn't. These words were meant for him, after all. But even so, Yael fights to keep the complicated look off his face.

Is it really okay for him to have this? Have Yuui? Rarely do problems resolve so cleanly. There must be something else amiss, something still bothering Yuui, a problem yet to be fixed. Until he knows, Yael can't relax.

Yael's fingers settle over Yuui's.]

What else?

[ Leave it to Sheza to pick up on the smallest things, even when he's eight inches deep inside of Fai.

He should have known. ]

We'll talk about it.

[ There's no foreboding tone to his words. It's simply a conversation left when they're not caught up in the heat of arousal. Fai shifts, using his legs to jostle Sheza against him for some semblance of movement. ]

Enjoy this moment with me.

[He should listen to Yuui and savor the moment, shouldn't he? They can leave the tough conversations until after they've had their fill of sex and self-gratification. It'd be nice if Yael could let himself do that, but after the mistakes he's made with Yuui, he isn't willing to misstep and make another.

Yael doesn't move, still as a boulder, even with Yuui's attempts to spur him into motion. Instead, he shakes his head in silent refusal.]

Either we talk about it or we stop. Your call.

[ ...Ah.

They'll talk about it, but it will ensure they stop. Fai feels somewhat guilty about it, but he knows the negative feelings will only fester, as they are wont to do. ]

I wish you hadn't gone off on your own like that.

[ He's expressed as much, and it shouldn't be a shock to Sheza, but he'll expand on it and effectively ruin this little session. ]

I'm glad to have you back... but your reasons for leaving make me sad. It's hard for one to outweigh the other.

[...Yeah, there's no carrying on after a conversation like this. Yael had already begun to lose his nerve anyway, so he'd rather have the bandaid ripped off than try to force himself through sex knowing Yuui is bothered.

Apologizing wasn't enough, but Yael hadn't expected it to be. Sitting back, he shakes his head, well aware of what a fool he is. Well aware that he can never do something like this again.]

I know. I'd be sad too, if I were you.

[Would he be able to accept an apology, in Yuui's situation? Yael's not convinced he would.]

Don't be in a rush to forgive me. I'll understand if you never can.

[ He lets his legs slide off of Sheza's shoulders and back down onto the bed, his skin suddenly feeling cold now that the fire has been snuffed. ]

...I think I can, eventually.

[ But it will take a long time. Fai glances up at Sheza, but quickly looks away. Fai scoots to the side so Sheza can settle in beside him, the empty space on the mattress a clear invitation for him. He lets silence linger between them for a moment, and then two. ]

When I heard about what happened, I realized that I didn't have as much of your heart as I thought I did.

[ And that? Well, it hurt nearly as bad as his presumed death. ]

[For his part, Yael pulls out of Yuui and backs away. Already going soft, it's not difficult to dress himself, and tempted as he is to put some distance between them, Yael settles beside Yuui instead. Anything else would be the wrong answer.]

Mm. Fair enough.

[Yuui didn't have 100% of his heart. Even if they manage to make amends, it's unlikely that he ever will. Yael doesn't believe anyone could ever hold the entirety of his fractured heart in their palm.]

You want more of it than I have to give.

[Bits and pieces of his heart have broken off along the way and rest in the hands of the people who came before Yuui. Yael can cut Hector off like a severed limb, but unless he does, that man will always hold a little piece of his heart too. Yael won't lie and claim he can fully give himself up to any one person, knowing how much the people in his life had had a hand in shaping the man he is now.]

I do. I want you to only think of me.

[ But he's well aware that that's an impossible thing to ask of anyone, much less Sheza. He was previously engaged, after all, and while Fai though he had accepted the fact that he would never have that little piece of Sheza's heart too... the reality of that had never really hit him until recently.

Fai lets his words hand in the silence before he finally adds, quietly: ]

That isn't fair to you though.

[ And it's something he needs to work on on his end. He lets that, too, sink in for Sheza. This is a mess that Fai has a part in, after all. The blame does not solely lay on Sheza's shoulders. ]

[They both know that's an unreasonable ask, but it's one Yael would make too if he weren't so jaded, so certain he could never have all the things he wants. With a sigh, quiet and slow, he shakes his head.]

I wonder if you'll be happy with me in the long-term. There are men out there with far fewer hangups than me.

I think I will be.

[ He stares up at the ceiling, part of him too afraid to chance a glance at Sheza, but he slides his hand over to offer it for Sheza to take. ]

It isn't like I don't have a lot of hangups myself.

[ He's been told as much by an ex in the past, and in other various situationships. There are a lot of issues that Fai has suppressed deep, deep down that have surfaced in some way in each relationship he's had.

Sheza just happened to unearth his fear of abandonment. ]

I'm scared you leave me for real someday.

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