Who ⚔ Yael & assorted nerds What ⚔ A dungeon run and other things When ⚔ After the party Where ⚔ Errywhere Content Warnings ⚔ Men with their tits out? Alcohol??? No correlation there surprisingly. nsfw i'm sorry mom
[ Those fingers are familiar in his hair, enough so that he sighs and stirs just a bit in his sleep, leaning into that touch.
Yet... even in his half-awake state, he knows that Yael did not say his name.
Something shifted, didn't it? He can feel it, something missing and empty in his own heart, and he has a feeling he knows exactly what is missing from Yael's. ]
...Sheza.
[ Whatever illusion Yael is under will be shattered the moment his name is spoken, the moment he hears Fai's voice.
[Sheza. That's his name, but he doesn't remember sharing it with Fai. Where'd he hear that name? Is this another bug? Another side effect of being trapped in this strange game?
No, no. He must've been the one to tell Fai at some point, but the reason why eludes him. Naturally, Yael pulls his hand back. He has no idea why he's sharing a bed with this man, their clothing scattered along the floor— evidence that they were intimate the night before. Something deep in Yael's gut twists.]
[ He can feel the tension in the air, the way it feels almost taut and ready to splinter between them. Fai sits up gingerly, lets the sheets pool around his hips. ]
You must not be fully awake yet, calling me by her name.
[On the contrary. Calling this man by her name while he has no clue why they've slept together has him wide awake. Yael manages to keep the shock from crossing his face, but he's clearly tense, staring ahead at a blank wall like it's the most interesting thing in the world.]
[ Yael may be staring straight ahead, but the look of shock on Fai's face is impossible to miss. Lips parted and eyebrows furrowed, he looks positively stricken. ]
[Wrong answer, huh? Just his luck. Maybe they were drinking heavily last night, but Yael doesn't feel the effects of a hangover or anything else that might support that notion.
Yael rubs at the nape of his neck, the discomfort coming to roost.]
...Look, I don't know what we're doing here together.
[Yael's eyes fall to the scattered clothing on the ground.]
[Again, he manages to keep the grimace off his face but not without considerable effort. A few times a week. He's pretty damn sure he'd remember fucking another man several times a week, so why...?]
Got any proof? Sorry, but I'm a taken man. Engaged.
[ His heart wrenches inside his chest, and for just a moment, Fai swears that it stops entirely.
Engaged.
It makes no sense, but the emptiness Fai feels in his own chest tells him that Yael forgot that he ever broke up with Aida. He nods, speaking softly. ]
...Look at your legs.
[ Fai would move the sheets himself, but his hands are trembling enough that it would be obvious how badly he's affected if he tried.
But Yael will find old marks of bites and bruises all along his inner thighs. They're definitely not from the night before, having already faded a generous amount, but there's a plethora of evidence there. ]
[His legs... Yael does just that, moving the sheets up to preserve his modesty while baring his legs enough to see those several days old bites and bruises. So it's true, but the truth only leaves him more confused, more ill, realizing he's been cheating on the love of his life with this man for who knows how long.
Inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale. Yael shakes his head and stares at the hands in his lap, the open palms, the fingers that clench before they can start shaking.]
...Why? [I'm not that kind of guy. This isn't who I am.] What did you do to me?
[The hurt in Fai's voice is clear. It's as jarring as broken glass, as painful as a bullet to the heart, but why?
As this conversation drags on, Yael's vexation — his frustration — only mounts. He swivels, tossing his legs off the side of the bed, and pulls on his underwear. His back stays turned to Fai as he shakes his head.]
America? The Bay Area? I have no idea what you're talking about. I've never been to the states.
Oh, this is so much worse than he thought it was. ]
Sheza Mohsen. You're twenty-nine years old. You're from Asyut, Egypt. You moved to the US a few years ago after joining the military, and you're stationed in the Bay Area.
[ He rattles off each fact quickly and without any sort of hesitation. Fai has a point to prove here, and he isn't going to let go of this situation until he gets to the bottom of it.
He needs to know how much Yael has forgotten, and he needs Yael to know how much he knows about him. ]
Your parents passed when you were young, but you were adopted by Mohammed. He taught you how to kill.
[There's no way Fai would know this much about him without knowing him, right? No, there are ways he could have stumbled across this information with a bit of careful digging and a pinch of tenacity, but why would he? And when he sounds so sure of the fact, could it really be that this man is living a delusion while Yael, memory clearly failing him, is in the right?
His sigh is audible in the dimly lit room, mattress groaning beneath his weight. Yael sits with his head in his hands, nursing a headache.]
So you know all about me. That doesn't explain why you've been sleeping with a man who's about to get married.
[Everything Fai is saying is making him regret staying. It's all bullshit, nonsense, baseless, and yet it crawls under his skin and sets him aflame. What the hell does he know? That's what the look on Yael's face says when he whips his head around to scowl at him, but he irons out his frustration quickly, flattening it out into something stone cold and emotionless.]
My boyfriend...
[Bullshit. With Fai already upset and Yael not wanting to upset him more, Yael keeps his mouth shut and doesn't say what he's thinking.]
What are you trying to say?
[That she left me? The first thought that comes to Yael's mind is the one that prays hardest on his insecurities. In recent years, her family's come into money, and with money came efforts to separate themselves from their unsightly past. Yael, a rough-edged street urchin, is part of that past.
Aida's been distant lately, but she's just going through a difficult time right now, isn't she? There's no way she'd break off their engagement. Not after they grew up together, spent their whole lives together. Their love is stronger than that.]
[ He hates the way Yael quickly smooths over his own expression, probably to spare Fai the brunt of his anger. It makes something in his heart twist painfully, and he has to suppress the reason why seeing those emotions get locked up hurts him so much. He can't let himself think it, not now.
So, Fai allows his hand to rest on Yael's shoulder—lightly, gingerly, so much so that his fingers will flutter away at the slightest shrug off. ]
She chose to end your engagement. I didn't ask for every little detail, but you told me that she went with her family's wishes.
[ His voice is soft, almost monotone. He doesn't like delivering this news, doesn't relish in it. ]
[It's like Fai expects his hand to be shrugged off. Yael will meet his expectations and then some, jerking up and away to make a gap in the blinds and peer off into the endless twilight. Anything is better than looking at the man who he, inexplicably, loves. But there can't be room for two in his heart. It's simply not that big.]
...Hah. Her family.
[He was never on the best terms with her family, but they were civil once. If you love him, dear, then follow your heart. So much for that. Yael clicks his tongue.]
They never did like me. Too rough around the edges. A ticking time bomb, what with my military background.
[But.]
It doesn't make sense. [But it does. It makes too much sense, and it hurts.] Choosing her family over me... They must've threatened her. There's no way she'd make that decision on her own. No way.
[But she did. She is and always has been strong-willed and hard-headed. She isn't the kind of woman you can push around. Never has been.]
[ He shifts on the bed, far enough that he can pull the black leggings he had discarded last night. It feels strange being completely nude around Yael right now.
Fai doesn't say anything, knowing full well that Aida made that decision for herself, knowing that Yael also knows she did. Sometimes, family is more important than a lover.
Sometimes... people leave. ]
Yet she made the decision anyway. [ Fai chances a glance at him. ] I'm sorry that I had to be the one to tell you.
[There's no point in looking at Fai now. Yael can hear the vexation in his voice and it's enough to tell him that he's upset the man, but what does that matter? Is he supposed to believe they're lovers? That Fai won't ultimately find some excuse to leave him too?
Yael turns around, walks on stiff legs to grab his pants, his shirt, getting dressed and heading for the door.]
Whatever we have here, Fai? We're done. Go run off and find someone who can make you happy.
[Yael leaves, the door shuddering closed behind him.]
[ Fai watches as Yael gathers up his clothes, the sight making his heart twist and his stomach turn in an absurdly painful way. He feels cold, and all he can do is watch as Yael gets dressed.
But his words are what end up spurring Fai into action as his heart finally, finally settles. Without a thought to spare, he bolts up from the bed and follows Sheza out into the main hall, reaching out to grab his wrist. He's still shirtless, and while that's something that would normally bother him, he doesn't care about that right now. ]
I'm not letting you do this. You said you wanted to spend your life with me, and I'm not letting you throw that away, Sheza.
[ The grip he has on Sheza's wrist tightens—he isn't letting go. ]
I did find someone who can make me happy, and he's standing right in front of me. You might have forgotten everything that's happened between us, but that doesn't mean I'm going to let it all go. I promised that I wouldn't leave you, and I'm keeping that promise.
[Forgotten? As if he could. His heart remembers what his mind doesn't and it hurts, aches terribly, all the more so when Fai chases him into the main hall and captures him by the wrist.
Let me go. With me, you'll only suffer.
Yael's fingers curl into a fist, his knuckles blanching white. He can't look at Fai now. He can't, he can't, he can't. Not without his resolve wavering. Not without his heart winning out over his mind.]
You're stubborn. Figures. [He has a type, after all.] Just... give me some time to get my thoughts straight. I won't ditch you.
He has no choice, but when has he ever? Yael stills for only a moment, but it's one that stretches on and on, the silence buzzing in his ears.
Eventually, Yael turns to face him. His eyes are dark, his eyes are heavy, and he isn't in any mood to talk.
Regardless, he will. Yael exhales a sigh through his nostrils and guides Yuui by their joined hands back into his bedroom. He'd rather not talk where curious ears can pick up on their conversation.]
...Why me?
[Why did Yuui choose him of all people? Yael leaves his question intentionally vague.]
[ Fai lets himself be taken back to the bedroom, thankful that Sheza is willing to talk even though it's incredibly obvious he very much does not want to. That's why he smiles, ever so slightly, even when Sheza asks a devastating question like that.
Is his confidence so low...?
Shutting the door behind him with his foot, he's content to simply stand here and hold hands. ]
Well, we have the same sense of humor, for one. We have a back and forth that I know that the two of us enjoy. [ And that's important. ] You see right through me and don't allow me to lie, and I need someone like that. You're smart, but not pretentious. You like to keep things simple and uncomplicated. You like to let me fuss over you, though I know you like to keep that one a secret.
You're also good-looking.
[ He looks up at Sheza. Need I go on? his expression seems to say. ]
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Yet... even in his half-awake state, he knows that Yael did not say his name.
Something shifted, didn't it? He can feel it, something missing and empty in his own heart, and he has a feeling he knows exactly what is missing from Yael's. ]
...Sheza.
[ Whatever illusion Yael is under will be shattered the moment his name is spoken, the moment he hears Fai's voice.
He braces himself. ]
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No, no. He must've been the one to tell Fai at some point, but the reason why eludes him. Naturally, Yael pulls his hand back. He has no idea why he's sharing a bed with this man, their clothing scattered along the floor— evidence that they were intimate the night before. Something deep in Yael's gut twists.]
...Morning.
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You must not be fully awake yet, calling me by her name.
[ But Yael has never slipped up before.
Never. ]
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Right. My bad, Fai.
[Better?]
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...What?
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Yael rubs at the nape of his neck, the discomfort coming to roost.]
...Look, I don't know what we're doing here together.
[Yael's eyes fall to the scattered clothing on the ground.]
Be honest. Did we sleep together last night?
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[ He can feel his heart sinking into his stomach, his hands starting to tremble. ]
We have sex a few times a week, Sheza.
[ Furrowing his brows, he chances a glance at Yael's face. ]
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Got any proof? Sorry, but I'm a taken man. Engaged.
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Engaged.
It makes no sense, but the emptiness Fai feels in his own chest tells him that Yael forgot that he ever broke up with Aida. He nods, speaking softly. ]
...Look at your legs.
[ Fai would move the sheets himself, but his hands are trembling enough that it would be obvious how badly he's affected if he tried.
But Yael will find old marks of bites and bruises all along his inner thighs. They're definitely not from the night before, having already faded a generous amount, but there's a plethora of evidence there. ]
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Inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale. Yael shakes his head and stares at the hands in his lap, the open palms, the fingers that clench before they can start shaking.]
...Why? [I'm not that kind of guy. This isn't who I am.] What did you do to me?
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It stings as those words all but rip through his chest, leaving him breathless. ]
I... I didn't do anything, Sheza.
[ His fists clench at the sheets as his vision goes blurry with unshed tears, and he breathes in an attempt to collect himself. ]
What do you know about me? [ No, actually— ] How do you think you even got to the United States? Why do you think you're in the Bay Area? Tell me.
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As this conversation drags on, Yael's vexation — his frustration — only mounts. He swivels, tossing his legs off the side of the bed, and pulls on his underwear. His back stays turned to Fai as he shakes his head.]
America? The Bay Area? I have no idea what you're talking about. I've never been to the states.
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Oh, this is so much worse than he thought it was. ]
Sheza Mohsen. You're twenty-nine years old. You're from Asyut, Egypt. You moved to the US a few years ago after joining the military, and you're stationed in the Bay Area.
[ He rattles off each fact quickly and without any sort of hesitation. Fai has a point to prove here, and he isn't going to let go of this situation until he gets to the bottom of it.
He needs to know how much Yael has forgotten, and he needs Yael to know how much he knows about him. ]
Your parents passed when you were young, but you were adopted by Mohammed. He taught you how to kill.
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His sigh is audible in the dimly lit room, mattress groaning beneath his weight. Yael sits with his head in his hands, nursing a headache.]
So you know all about me. That doesn't explain why you've been sleeping with a man who's about to get married.
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He shifts, letting instinct take over as he places a hand on the back of Yael's head. ]
...Because you're my boyfriend. That's why I know all of this.
[ "Why would I have a boyfriend when I'm about to get married?"
Fai can practically hear the question in his head, so he adds, his voice soft: ]
You haven't been engaged for several years now.
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My boyfriend...
[Bullshit. With Fai already upset and Yael not wanting to upset him more, Yael keeps his mouth shut and doesn't say what he's thinking.]
What are you trying to say?
[That she left me? The first thought that comes to Yael's mind is the one that prays hardest on his insecurities. In recent years, her family's come into money, and with money came efforts to separate themselves from their unsightly past. Yael, a rough-edged street urchin, is part of that past.
Aida's been distant lately, but she's just going through a difficult time right now, isn't she? There's no way she'd break off their engagement. Not after they grew up together, spent their whole lives together. Their love is stronger than that.]
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So, Fai allows his hand to rest on Yael's shoulder—lightly, gingerly, so much so that his fingers will flutter away at the slightest shrug off. ]
She chose to end your engagement. I didn't ask for every little detail, but you told me that she went with her family's wishes.
[ His voice is soft, almost monotone. He doesn't like delivering this news, doesn't relish in it. ]
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...Hah. Her family.
[He was never on the best terms with her family, but they were civil once. If you love him, dear, then follow your heart. So much for that. Yael clicks his tongue.]
They never did like me. Too rough around the edges. A ticking time bomb, what with my military background.
[But.]
It doesn't make sense. [But it does. It makes too much sense, and it hurts.] Choosing her family over me... They must've threatened her. There's no way she'd make that decision on her own. No way.
[But she did. She is and always has been strong-willed and hard-headed. She isn't the kind of woman you can push around. Never has been.]
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Fai doesn't say anything, knowing full well that Aida made that decision for herself, knowing that Yael also knows she did. Sometimes, family is more important than a lover.
Sometimes... people leave. ]
Yet she made the decision anyway. [ Fai chances a glance at him. ] I'm sorry that I had to be the one to tell you.
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Yael turns around, walks on stiff legs to grab his pants, his shirt, getting dressed and heading for the door.]
Whatever we have here, Fai? We're done. Go run off and find someone who can make you happy.
[Yael leaves, the door shuddering closed behind him.]
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But his words are what end up spurring Fai into action as his heart finally, finally settles. Without a thought to spare, he bolts up from the bed and follows Sheza out into the main hall, reaching out to grab his wrist. He's still shirtless, and while that's something that would normally bother him, he doesn't care about that right now. ]
I'm not letting you do this. You said you wanted to spend your life with me, and I'm not letting you throw that away, Sheza.
[ The grip he has on Sheza's wrist tightens—he isn't letting go. ]
I did find someone who can make me happy, and he's standing right in front of me. You might have forgotten everything that's happened between us, but that doesn't mean I'm going to let it all go. I promised that I wouldn't leave you, and I'm keeping that promise.
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Let me go. With me, you'll only suffer.
Yael's fingers curl into a fist, his knuckles blanching white. He can't look at Fai now. He can't, he can't, he can't. Not without his resolve wavering. Not without his heart winning out over his mind.]
You're stubborn. Figures. [He has a type, after all.] Just... give me some time to get my thoughts straight. I won't ditch you.
[Does Fai trust him enough to let him go?]
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So, he takes Sheza by the hand instead, interlacing their fingers without any hint of hesitation. ]
Let's work on some of it together. Any questions you have, I'll answer them.
[ Please stay. ]
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He has no choice, but when has he ever? Yael stills for only a moment, but it's one that stretches on and on, the silence buzzing in his ears.
Eventually, Yael turns to face him. His eyes are dark, his eyes are heavy, and he isn't in any mood to talk.
Regardless, he will. Yael exhales a sigh through his nostrils and guides Yuui by their joined hands back into his bedroom. He'd rather not talk where curious ears can pick up on their conversation.]
...Why me?
[Why did Yuui choose him of all people? Yael leaves his question intentionally vague.]
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Is his confidence so low...?
Shutting the door behind him with his foot, he's content to simply stand here and hold hands. ]
Well, we have the same sense of humor, for one. We have a back and forth that I know that the two of us enjoy. [ And that's important. ] You see right through me and don't allow me to lie, and I need someone like that. You're smart, but not pretentious. You like to keep things simple and uncomplicated. You like to let me fuss over you, though I know you like to keep that one a secret.
You're also good-looking.
[ He looks up at Sheza. Need I go on? his expression seems to say. ]
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