Who ⚔ Yael & assorted nerds What ⚔ A dungeon run and other things When ⚔ After the party Where ⚔ Errywhere Content Warnings ⚔ Men with their tits out? Alcohol??? No correlation there surprisingly. nsfw i'm sorry mom
Just say you want to get pounded until you can't walk straight.
[Or walk gay, for that matter. On a normal day, Yael wouldn't mind taking the reins — he usually does — but you can only tempt fate so much before it snaps back.
Thrust to the ground, Yael grins, his anxieties beginning to abate. Better. Rough him up, string bean. You know he can take everything you dish out and more.]
Gh—
[That bony knee smarts. Yael hisses, grits his teeth, but he's pressed up hard against the shin resting over his groin. Were this anyone but Yuui, he'd feel embarrassed, maybe even ashamed, but there's no room for that now.
They're the same beast, slavering and dreadful to behold. Truth hurts, but they've both warmed up to wounding each other.
Yael's grin broadens.]
I want you to do whatever you feel like. Beat me up, fuck me, choke me. It'll all feel just as good.
[God, he really is depraved, isn't he? Yael laughs at his own brutal honesty.]
[ Fai digs his knee in, pressing his leg harder to Yael's groin, a small smirk on his lips. Were this in real life, he'd be terrified of actually hurting Yael's internal organs doing this, but this way Yael gets the pain from this without any real damage to his body. It's a win-win. ]
You're so desperate that you're using my shin? I'd be embarrassed if you weren't so attractive.
[ He feels almost guilty saying those words, but they tumble out of his mouth without any way for him to stop them. Have they still been holding back so much, even after everything?
With a quirk of his brow, Fai tilts his head. ]
You want me to fuck you, but not put my dick inside of you?
[ Sure, he can fuck Yael's thighs instead, but that's some real hypocrisy right there. ]
[And it hurts just as badly as it would in real life, but as soon as he logs off, he'll feel none of it. That sure is his health bar gently ticking down, but a knee alone can only do so much damage. Even if Yuui wanted to bring him to the cusp of 1HP, Yael still wouldn't worry.
How can he when he's so turned on? His grin's all teeth when he sinks his fingers into Yuui's legs for leverage and grinds up into it. Being called out so bluntly is embarrassing, his cheeks flushing a modest pink, but that's part of the appeal. Yuui is awakening a side of himself previously unknown to Yael, which is its own kind of exciting.]
You know what I meant. Fuck yourself on me. You can ride, can't you?
[Yael hurriedly purses his lips. He's not completing that thought.]
[ That flush on Yael's cheeks is addictive, so much so that he wants more. He's never been one for humiliating his partners, but he feels something unfurl inside of him, a strange desire to push and prod at Yael as much as he can. It's a strange, almost unsettling feeling to have, but it's exciting nevertheless. ]
You want to me to ride you all so you can come inside of me immediately? Look at yourself. You can't handle it right now.
[ The manifestation of that desire leaves his mouth all too easily, the tips of his own ears turning red in a bout of shame. Yet here he is, unable to stop himself.
...As if he'd want to. Pushing and grinding his leg down against Yael's arousal, he smirks. ]
[Yael audibly scoffs, but you know what? That's fine, Yuui. Accuse him of being a one pump chump. That takes the edge off the rest of that unfinished statement.]
You've fucked enough men. You know how to take charge.
[He hadn't wanted to risk shaming Yuui, but there's nothing like judgment in Yael's voice. As far as he's concerned, a lot of sexual experience is just that: a lot of sexual experience. Why shame the guy for something that benefits them both?]
[ All he can do is laugh. If Yael wanted to slut shame him now, he'd be fine with that, but he knows that isn't the case here. If anything, it's a compliment. ]
So? Can't handle a little pain?
[ But Fai eases up, shifting his weight back onto his knee and Yael's stomach as he leans down enough so he can pull Yael's chin upward and access his neck. ]
While we have to be fully transparent here, why don't you tell me what you're thinking right now? How do you feel?
[He's going to go insane at this rate. Leaving the reins in Yuui's hands, letting him bully and belittle and embarrass him... it's making him throb, making him want to jerk upright and throw Yuui back into the silt and stone and fuck him until he's warbling unintelligibly.
Yael might make good on that threat, but the desire to watch him bob on his cock is a hair more enticing. He hisses through gritted teeth, tears forced to the corners of his eyes by that sharp, needling pain. Groans echo in his bared throat.]
I'm thinking you need to hurry up and sit on my dick.
[ He has the reins now and he doesn't plan on getting to the main event just yet. And so he bites on Yael's neck hard, just as hard as Yael had bitten him earlier, and sucks on his skin to leave a dark, mottled bruise. What a shame that the bruise will disappear the moment he logs out instead of lingering for days after.
Maybe he'll need to invite Yael over once they're done here. The thought itself brings to life butterflies in his stomach, and another question escapes him before he can hold it back. ]
[There he is, asking the real questions. Yael doesn't want to answer, knowing the answer, but he's already screwed himself over once by remaining mum. If he doesn't want to ruin two relationships in a single day, he'll have to be honest with the one he's given his heart to, won't he?
Won't he?
Yael's heart slams into his ribs. His pulse quickens and his palms sweat. Swallowing, he keeps his head tipped up where Yuui had pulled it back to leave that mottling bruise.]
[ He was expecting something cheesy, maybe something akin to Yael feeling like he's in high school again with a massive crush or like a schoolyard bully that doesn't know what to do when faced with the one they like. But this?
Fai wasn't expecting this. He was well aware that Yael likes him and he wanted to hear that, but it's so much more. That's why he gasps softly at those words, his entire body stilling where he's still draped over Yael.
He's frozen, so shocked that he's unable to move. ]
Yael jerks forward with alarming speed, knocking both of their skulls together before Yuui is unceremoniously thrust right back onto the ground, his legs kicked up around his hips so Yael can sink into his space, tear the robes from his body.
Stepped in white, they hardly suit him, so it's only fitting that Yael tear them away to bare the man beneath them. This is all Yael has ever wanted from Yuui anyway— the naked truth, imperfect and beautiful in a manner only he knows it to be.]
Fuck around long enough and you'll find out. Satisfied, Yuui? You should be.
[You've been desperate from love since the moment your parents were taken from you. But that answer is too painful to voice, so Yael occupies his mouth with hit flesh that yields beneath his teeth, blooms shades of red and violet. All the while, Yael continues to tear and rip and rend layers of fabric.]
[ Fai hisses when Yael knocks their heads together, his own head practically spinning until he's suddenly back on the ground, grass tickling at the back of his neck as he realizes that Yael has reversed their positions once again.
His breath quickens as Yael all but rips at his robes, pulling and tugging them until they finally get off of Fai's body in a twisted heap and he's left bare and exposed. Yael's mouth is hot and familiar against his skin as he bites and sucks at the sensitive flesh until it's peppered with bruises that will disappear in short order. But it's pain tinged with pleasure now instead of the other way around, his fingernails digging into the armor at Yael's back.
It's easy for him to oblige with Yael's order as he spreads his legs, fully exposing himself to Yael much like he had bared his heart to Fai only moments ago. ]
...You're imposing your own feelings on me. What did you think I was looking for, Sheza?
[But what would a better answer sound like? He's well aware he's gone too far, fallen too fast, and Yuui can't possibly return his feelings. In time, maybe he could have. In time, maybe they would've settled into normalcy and lived a nice and quiet life together.
Too bad. Yael warned Yuui that he wouldn't stop once he got started, and with him acquiescing and spreading his legs, he's shown no restraint. Yael jerks at belts and leather to tug out his dick and bury it in Yuui, sparing little thought to the ache that accompanies penetration. This is what they're in for together: pain, and plenty of it.
His voice is a harsh rasp in Yuui's ear.]
You don't have to return them. In fact, I'd prefer it if you shut up.
[It's bad enough that he's imposing his feelings on Yuui. The last thing he wants now is to hear him force a reply knowing full well they don't care for one another to the same degree. It's fine, Yael tells himself. Always has been, always has be, no matter how much his life is falling apart all around him.
Without waiting for an answer, Yael thrusts, works himself up to a feverish pace. He gave Yuui a chance to change his mind and he didn't, so instead, he'll suffer the consequences. All a man like Yael knows is how to dole out pain.]
[ It hurts, an all too familiar ache spreading him wide open as Yael buries himself quickly into Fai. His back arches, his hands pulling and tugging at Yael's shirt in a bid as if daring him not to stop.
Keep going.
With a shiver, he reaches a hand up to tug harshly on Yael's hair, gathering up those strands in his long fingers so that he has a better, fuller grip. If Yael is going to hurt him, draw heavy breaths and barely concealed whines out of him, then Fai will do the same. All Yael can do is dole out pain, but Fai can soak it up and let it fill him to the brim before releasing it back out. ]
Shut up? [ Using that grip he has on Yael's hair, he tugs. ] You really expect me to fall in line and do whatever you say?
[Hurt and be hurt in return. Yael would have it no other way, viciously slamming forward again and again and again, the dirt and grit scraping up beneath Yuui's back. He'll have to apologize again, he knows, and yet Yael can't stop moving.]
Of course I don't. That's what I—
[—love about you. Yael bites his lip until all the color bleeds out of it. His pace quickens, chin tipped down so the shock, the emotional tumult is no longer something Yuui can see.]
[ That's what Yael loves about him, isn't it? His heart twists in his chest, his stomach feels like it's flipped onto its side, and the rocks and dirt scraping against his back are merely peripheral to the other pain he feels. ]
Sheza, I...
[ He squeezes his thighs around Yael's hips, pushing him closer in a silent bid for Yael to give him more, to expel all of the negative feelings he has right now into Fai. He'll simply soak all of them up and hold onto them like a sponge because there's nothing else he can offer. Comforting words aren't an option, not when he's sure that Yael doesn't want to hear them in the first place. ]
[Begging for more while shutting him out, is he? No... That's an uncharitable take, but Yael would much rather Yuui not make any effort to soothe him when it's clear the feelings between them are not mutual. That's fine. They don't need to be, not when they're skewed so far to one side.]
Enough.
[A low, guttering command. He doesn't want to hear it anymore. Can't stand to hear it anymore. Yael pivots into him with such weighty thrusts that he's begun to pant.]
...Don't lie there and take it like you have no other choice. You think I'm a monster, don't you? Say it. Admit it.
[ Wouldn't that be better? To lie here and take it and let Yael get out all of his negative feelings? There's still a big part of Fai that thinks he should, but his very nature keeps himself from doing it too much. ]
I think...
[ He groans, grimacing in pain as those thrusts start to toe the line of being too much. It's a pain that rends him in two, yet still causes heat to pool low in his gut nevertheless. ]
I think you're the one for me.
[ While Fai's feelings might not be quite there yet, he can at least make that logical conclusion. He's in touch with his own feelings enough to be able to do so, and Yael should know that this, at least, is his truth. ]
[No, no, no. No matter what it is, Yael doesn't want to hear it, but he doesn't have the heart to flip Yuui over and bury his face in the grass. He could never do that to Yuui.
He falters a bit, his pace slackening, but he recovers quickly enough. The tumult of emotion on his face is hard to hide, but he manages. He always manages.]
...I don't want to hear that now.
[Not while Yuui feels forced, compelled to say so. They can talk about this again when they've both got their wits about them, but even then, it's not a conversation Yael is ready to have. He wasn't ready for this either, but there's no turning back time. Now Yuui knows.]
[ A hand settles on Yael's shoulder, his fingernails digging into his skin. Pain in return for the way the rocks underneath him dig into his back and cut into his skin. ]
You... want me to call you a monster. [ He pants, doing what he can to catch his breath despite the relentless pace Yael has settled on. ] Why would I say something I don't mean?
[ Ironic, for someone who always says what he doesn't mean, right? And yet he's been mostly honest with Yael the entire time they've known one another, at first because he knew he couldn't get away with it and later on because he grew comfortable. ]
[Why wouldn't Yuui call him a monster? Yael's sure he's been warned. Sure he's been advised against dating a man with his background, told he's a loose canon waiting to go off.
He's going off now, as it happens, but through the pain in Yuui's eyes, Yael sees no fear. No regret. Why? Is it simply that disturbing lack of self-preservation? It isn't love. It certainly isn't love.
Yael hangs his head, focuses on each forward thrust to keep his mind off the growing ache in his chest.]
Why would you let yourself be treated this way? There's... something wrong with you.
[That's not what he meant to say. Not like that, and yet.]
[ Yael has warned Fai plenty of times himself, hasn't he? But Fai ignores every little warning, simply because he doesn't care. He doesn't regret this, and he knows he never will. What he had said to Yael was the truth, after all.
Fai knows that Yael is the one, in his head and in a burgeoning feeling in his heart. Yet he can't tell Yael he loves him back, not until he feels it fully. It isn't fair to say it, not when the seed is still taking root in his heart. Even if he wasn't burdened with only speaking the truth, he would not have said it.
It's because he cares so deeply, though, that Yael's words cut deep, enough that Fai worries at his bottom lip, suppressing any of the groans that might otherwise escape him. ]
I know. [ He can't hold back what he says next, unfortunately: ] But I deserve it, don't I?
[He wants this to stop. He wants this to end. Why won't Yuui say anything? Why won't he make it end?
No one should put up with abuse like this, much less the stubborn, bullheaded man Yael fell head over heels in love with. Pain is all Yael knows how to inflict, but he's only ever succeeded in pushing others away through aggression and antagonism. No one sticks around. No one puts up with him at his worst. No one should, and yet Yuui does.
There's something wrong with you. That blade cuts both ways.]
...No you don't, you damn fool. You don't deserve this. You deserve so much better than I could ever give you.
[This hurts, doesn't it? That should be reason enough to take Yael at his word and leave, but Yuui doesn't care about self-preservation. It stands to reason that someone who can't love himself can't love anyone else either, but why? Why does Yuui have to feel this way?
Exhaling a low, haggard sigh, Yael keeps thrusting.]
...It's not fair. The way you treat yourself. The way you're letting me treat you.
[ Why does Yael keep going? It's clear that neither of them are enjoying this, that each heavy thrust of Yael's hips only brings them both more pain. Yet, Fai wants to keep Yael inside of him, to keep him close so that he might understand what it is that Fai feels. With a small shift, he wraps one of his legs more firmly around Yael's hips. ]
I already decided that you can take what you want from me. I made that decision a while ago.
[ He snakes a hand up and under Yael's shirt, digging his nails into Yael's shoulder before dragging them down his back. It'll create long, thin scratches here, but they won't last long. Nothing in this game does. Yael can consider this pain in exchange for what Yael is doing now.
When will he understand that Fai deserves everything that Yael can give him? ]
What... would you want me to do? Flip the both of us over?
[A relationship shouldn't be a matter of taking and taking and taking for the benefit of one partner while the other suffers. That's all this is: mutual agony.
Heat pulses in Yael's hips, but there's nothing pleasurable about it. He wants this to stop, but how can he? Yuui is never going to learn if he doesn't leave a lasting scar behind on him. Even then, who's to say Fai isn't sick enough to wear that scar proudly on his back?
He can't continue like this. Neither of them can. Yael forces himself to stop, brusquely tugging out of Yuui's body and the leg tied around his waist.]
You're a moron if you think you deserve any of this. I can't do it, Yuui. Not like this.
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:face_with_peeking_eye:
[Or walk gay, for that matter. On a normal day, Yael wouldn't mind taking the reins — he usually does — but you can only tempt fate so much before it snaps back.
Thrust to the ground, Yael grins, his anxieties beginning to abate. Better. Rough him up, string bean. You know he can take everything you dish out and more.]
Gh—
[That bony knee smarts. Yael hisses, grits his teeth, but he's pressed up hard against the shin resting over his groin. Were this anyone but Yuui, he'd feel embarrassed, maybe even ashamed, but there's no room for that now.
They're the same beast, slavering and dreadful to behold. Truth hurts, but they've both warmed up to wounding each other.
Yael's grin broadens.]
I want you to do whatever you feel like. Beat me up, fuck me, choke me. It'll all feel just as good.
[God, he really is depraved, isn't he? Yael laughs at his own brutal honesty.]
Just keep your dick out of my ass.
smh
You're so desperate that you're using my shin? I'd be embarrassed if you weren't so attractive.
[ He feels almost guilty saying those words, but they tumble out of his mouth without any way for him to stop them. Have they still been holding back so much, even after everything?
With a quirk of his brow, Fai tilts his head. ]
You want me to fuck you, but not put my dick inside of you?
[ Sure, he can fuck Yael's thighs instead, but that's some real hypocrisy right there. ]
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How can he when he's so turned on? His grin's all teeth when he sinks his fingers into Yuui's legs for leverage and grinds up into it. Being called out so bluntly is embarrassing, his cheeks flushing a modest pink, but that's part of the appeal. Yuui is awakening a side of himself previously unknown to Yael, which is its own kind of exciting.]
You know what I meant. Fuck yourself on me. You can ride, can't you?
[Yael hurriedly purses his lips. He's not completing that thought.]
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You want to me to ride you all so you can come inside of me immediately? Look at yourself. You can't handle it right now.
[ The manifestation of that desire leaves his mouth all too easily, the tips of his own ears turning red in a bout of shame. Yet here he is, unable to stop himself.
...As if he'd want to. Pushing and grinding his leg down against Yael's arousal, he smirks. ]
Finish your thought. I know there's more.
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[Yael audibly scoffs, but you know what? That's fine, Yuui. Accuse him of being a one pump chump. That takes the edge off the rest of that unfinished statement.]
You've fucked enough men. You know how to take charge.
[He hadn't wanted to risk shaming Yuui, but there's nothing like judgment in Yael's voice. As far as he's concerned, a lot of sexual experience is just that: a lot of sexual experience. Why shame the guy for something that benefits them both?]
God— damn that hurts. You're gonna break my dick.
[and then he'll have to kiss it better 🥺]
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So? Can't handle a little pain?
[ But Fai eases up, shifting his weight back onto his knee and Yael's stomach as he leans down enough so he can pull Yael's chin upward and access his neck. ]
While we have to be fully transparent here, why don't you tell me what you're thinking right now? How do you feel?
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Yael might make good on that threat, but the desire to watch him bob on his cock is a hair more enticing. He hisses through gritted teeth, tears forced to the corners of his eyes by that sharp, needling pain. Groans echo in his bared throat.]
I'm thinking you need to hurry up and sit on my dick.
[he feels HORNY]
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[ He has the reins now and he doesn't plan on getting to the main event just yet. And so he bites on Yael's neck hard, just as hard as Yael had bitten him earlier, and sucks on his skin to leave a dark, mottled bruise. What a shame that the bruise will disappear the moment he logs out instead of lingering for days after.
Maybe he'll need to invite Yael over once they're done here. The thought itself brings to life butterflies in his stomach, and another question escapes him before he can hold it back. ]
How do you feel about me?
[ ...
He didn't mean to ask that, but here he is. ]
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Won't he?
Yael's heart slams into his ribs. His pulse quickens and his palms sweat. Swallowing, he keeps his head tipped up where Yuui had pulled it back to leave that mottling bruise.]
I love you.
[Hope you're happy, Yuui.]
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Fai wasn't expecting this. He was well aware that Yael likes him and he wanted to hear that, but it's so much more. That's why he gasps softly at those words, his entire body stilling where he's still draped over Yael.
He's frozen, so shocked that he's unable to move. ]
Sheza, I...
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[I can't take it anymore.
Yael jerks forward with alarming speed, knocking both of their skulls together before Yuui is unceremoniously thrust right back onto the ground, his legs kicked up around his hips so Yael can sink into his space, tear the robes from his body.
Stepped in white, they hardly suit him, so it's only fitting that Yael tear them away to bare the man beneath them. This is all Yael has ever wanted from Yuui anyway— the naked truth, imperfect and beautiful in a manner only he knows it to be.]
Fuck around long enough and you'll find out. Satisfied, Yuui? You should be.
[You've been desperate from love since the moment your parents were taken from you. But that answer is too painful to voice, so Yael occupies his mouth with hit flesh that yields beneath his teeth, blooms shades of red and violet. All the while, Yael continues to tear and rip and rend layers of fabric.]
Spread your legs.
[That should be easy for you. Another bite.]
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His breath quickens as Yael all but rips at his robes, pulling and tugging them until they finally get off of Fai's body in a twisted heap and he's left bare and exposed. Yael's mouth is hot and familiar against his skin as he bites and sucks at the sensitive flesh until it's peppered with bruises that will disappear in short order. But it's pain tinged with pleasure now instead of the other way around, his fingernails digging into the armor at Yael's back.
It's easy for him to oblige with Yael's order as he spreads his legs, fully exposing himself to Yael much like he had bared his heart to Fai only moments ago. ]
...You're imposing your own feelings on me. What did you think I was looking for, Sheza?
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[But what would a better answer sound like? He's well aware he's gone too far, fallen too fast, and Yuui can't possibly return his feelings. In time, maybe he could have. In time, maybe they would've settled into normalcy and lived a nice and quiet life together.
Too bad. Yael warned Yuui that he wouldn't stop once he got started, and with him acquiescing and spreading his legs, he's shown no restraint. Yael jerks at belts and leather to tug out his dick and bury it in Yuui, sparing little thought to the ache that accompanies penetration. This is what they're in for together: pain, and plenty of it.
His voice is a harsh rasp in Yuui's ear.]
You don't have to return them. In fact, I'd prefer it if you shut up.
[It's bad enough that he's imposing his feelings on Yuui. The last thing he wants now is to hear him force a reply knowing full well they don't care for one another to the same degree. It's fine, Yael tells himself. Always has been, always has be, no matter how much his life is falling apart all around him.
Without waiting for an answer, Yael thrusts, works himself up to a feverish pace. He gave Yuui a chance to change his mind and he didn't, so instead, he'll suffer the consequences. All a man like Yael knows is how to dole out pain.]
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Keep going.
With a shiver, he reaches a hand up to tug harshly on Yael's hair, gathering up those strands in his long fingers so that he has a better, fuller grip. If Yael is going to hurt him, draw heavy breaths and barely concealed whines out of him, then Fai will do the same. All Yael can do is dole out pain, but Fai can soak it up and let it fill him to the brim before releasing it back out. ]
Shut up? [ Using that grip he has on Yael's hair, he tugs. ] You really expect me to fall in line and do whatever you say?
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Of course I don't. That's what I—
[—love about you. Yael bites his lip until all the color bleeds out of it. His pace quickens, chin tipped down so the shock, the emotional tumult is no longer something Yuui can see.]
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Sheza, I...
[ He squeezes his thighs around Yael's hips, pushing him closer in a silent bid for Yael to give him more, to expel all of the negative feelings he has right now into Fai. He'll simply soak all of them up and hold onto them like a sponge because there's nothing else he can offer. Comforting words aren't an option, not when he's sure that Yael doesn't want to hear them in the first place. ]
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Enough.
[A low, guttering command. He doesn't want to hear it anymore. Can't stand to hear it anymore. Yael pivots into him with such weighty thrusts that he's begun to pant.]
...Don't lie there and take it like you have no other choice. You think I'm a monster, don't you? Say it. Admit it.
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I think...
[ He groans, grimacing in pain as those thrusts start to toe the line of being too much. It's a pain that rends him in two, yet still causes heat to pool low in his gut nevertheless. ]
I think you're the one for me.
[ While Fai's feelings might not be quite there yet, he can at least make that logical conclusion. He's in touch with his own feelings enough to be able to do so, and Yael should know that this, at least, is his truth. ]
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He falters a bit, his pace slackening, but he recovers quickly enough. The tumult of emotion on his face is hard to hide, but he manages. He always manages.]
...I don't want to hear that now.
[Not while Yuui feels forced, compelled to say so. They can talk about this again when they've both got their wits about them, but even then, it's not a conversation Yael is ready to have. He wasn't ready for this either, but there's no turning back time. Now Yuui knows.]
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You... want me to call you a monster. [ He pants, doing what he can to catch his breath despite the relentless pace Yael has settled on. ] Why would I say something I don't mean?
[ Ironic, for someone who always says what he doesn't mean, right? And yet he's been mostly honest with Yael the entire time they've known one another, at first because he knew he couldn't get away with it and later on because he grew comfortable. ]
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He's going off now, as it happens, but through the pain in Yuui's eyes, Yael sees no fear. No regret. Why? Is it simply that disturbing lack of self-preservation? It isn't love. It certainly isn't love.
Yael hangs his head, focuses on each forward thrust to keep his mind off the growing ache in his chest.]
Why would you let yourself be treated this way? There's... something wrong with you.
[That's not what he meant to say. Not like that, and yet.]
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Fai knows that Yael is the one, in his head and in a burgeoning feeling in his heart. Yet he can't tell Yael he loves him back, not until he feels it fully. It isn't fair to say it, not when the seed is still taking root in his heart. Even if he wasn't burdened with only speaking the truth, he would not have said it.
It's because he cares so deeply, though, that Yael's words cut deep, enough that Fai worries at his bottom lip, suppressing any of the groans that might otherwise escape him. ]
I know. [ He can't hold back what he says next, unfortunately: ] But I deserve it, don't I?
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No one should put up with abuse like this, much less the stubborn, bullheaded man Yael fell head over heels in love with. Pain is all Yael knows how to inflict, but he's only ever succeeded in pushing others away through aggression and antagonism. No one sticks around. No one puts up with him at his worst. No one should, and yet Yuui does.
There's something wrong with you. That blade cuts both ways.]
...No you don't, you damn fool. You don't deserve this. You deserve so much better than I could ever give you.
[This hurts, doesn't it? That should be reason enough to take Yael at his word and leave, but Yuui doesn't care about self-preservation. It stands to reason that someone who can't love himself can't love anyone else either, but why? Why does Yuui have to feel this way?
Exhaling a low, haggard sigh, Yael keeps thrusting.]
...It's not fair. The way you treat yourself. The way you're letting me treat you.
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I already decided that you can take what you want from me. I made that decision a while ago.
[ He snakes a hand up and under Yael's shirt, digging his nails into Yael's shoulder before dragging them down his back. It'll create long, thin scratches here, but they won't last long. Nothing in this game does. Yael can consider this pain in exchange for what Yael is doing now.
When will he understand that Fai deserves everything that Yael can give him? ]
What... would you want me to do? Flip the both of us over?
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Heat pulses in Yael's hips, but there's nothing pleasurable about it. He wants this to stop, but how can he? Yuui is never going to learn if he doesn't leave a lasting scar behind on him. Even then, who's to say Fai isn't sick enough to wear that scar proudly on his back?
He can't continue like this. Neither of them can. Yael forces himself to stop, brusquely tugging out of Yuui's body and the leg tied around his waist.]
You're a moron if you think you deserve any of this. I can't do it, Yuui. Not like this.
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