Who ⚔ Yael & assorted nerds What ⚔ A dungeon run and other things When ⚔ After the party Where ⚔ Errywhere Content Warnings ⚔ Men with their tits out? Alcohol??? No correlation there surprisingly. nsfw i'm sorry mom
[ And here Fai is, undeserving of this comfort, yet he's taking it anyway. Wrapping his arms tightly around Yael, he buries his face in his shoulder and breathes out, long and slow as they drift into silence. All he needs is this right now, even as his heart hammers against his chest and tears finally spill onto his cheeks, wetting the fabric of Yael's armor. It's been so long since he's cried that it almost stings, almost makes his body break out into full tremors, but he manages to keep it under control.
He can lose it when he logs out.
After all, he needs to take care of Yael first, doesn't he? Pulling out of the hug, Fai takes Yael's face between both of his hands so he can't look away. ]
I won't leave you. I didn't say it to comfort you, Sheza. You're the one. I know it, and it scares me.
[Oh, he knows Yuui is going to lose it as soon as he logs out. Feels it in his gut, but Yael isn't so sure he'll fare any better. Fucked up that they're simultaneously the best and worst thing for each other, isn't it?
Cheeks smooshed between his favorite twinky hands, Yael doesn't fight it, meeting Yuui's gaze.]
...You say that like I'm not just as afraid.
[Yael laughs, but it's such a weak, almost pitiful sound.]
[ He laughs, but it bubbles up in his throat and sounds more akin to a little sob than anything. With a shaky inhale, he momentarily closes his eyes, trying to recenter himself.
So much for camping, honestly. He doesn't have it in him to play at that little charade right now. ]
I can't give you what you want right now, but I don't want you to leave either. I... need time.
[ His heart is locked behind so many doors, after all, and not all of them have opened just yet. Allowing himself to feel so intensely for someone else is a bridge that he still needs to cross. ]
You probably don't want to go on as many dates, or hang out as much as we have been for a little while, do you?
[ Fai knows that Yael is hurt, that he's done irreparable damage to the heart of the one he's falling for. Naturally he'd want some time to himself. That would be a fitting punishment for Fai anyway, and one that hurts Yael less. ]
In a way, Yael expected this. The reasonable thing to do in a situation like this is to ask for time apart, but it aches just the same. Yael will respect Yuui's boundaries, but a non-insignificant part of him fears there is no coming back from this.
Does he want time away from Yuui? Truly, he doesn't. If anything, he wants more time with him and wants to take every opportunity to make it up to him, but it's too early to plan on making amends. Time is, at moments like these, the only cure.
Yael withdraws from their hug. He sees the tears in Yuui's eyes and hears the sobs stop up in his throat and does nothing. It isn't his right to dry the tears from Yuui's eyes. That's a privilege he's lost today.]
By all means. Take your time.
[He won't answer the question of what he wants. He can't afford to.]
You need anything else? If not, I'm going to log off for the night.
[ When Yael simply does nothing, Fai—no, Yuui—feels something in him break. His hands slowly move away from Yael's face as he backs away.
He isn't sure what he wanted, but it certainly wasn't this. Did he want Yael to fight to keep spending so much time together, even though there's no realistic way he would at this point? Did he want Yael to say it was all okay?
Yuui doesn't know. He doesn't know anything anymore. ]
...You can go.
[ He has to, because Yuui can't hold it together much longer, and he can't afford to let Yael see what will happen to him. Letting Yael feel worse is simply not an option.
And yet, and yet, Yuui can't help but lean forward and press a soft kiss to Yael's cheek anyway. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
no subject
He can lose it when he logs out.
After all, he needs to take care of Yael first, doesn't he? Pulling out of the hug, Fai takes Yael's face between both of his hands so he can't look away. ]
I won't leave you. I didn't say it to comfort you, Sheza. You're the one. I know it, and it scares me.
no subject
Cheeks smooshed between his favorite twinky hands, Yael doesn't fight it, meeting Yuui's gaze.]
...You say that like I'm not just as afraid.
[Yael laughs, but it's such a weak, almost pitiful sound.]
Damn. What's wrong with us?
no subject
[ He laughs, but it bubbles up in his throat and sounds more akin to a little sob than anything. With a shaky inhale, he momentarily closes his eyes, trying to recenter himself.
So much for camping, honestly. He doesn't have it in him to play at that little charade right now. ]
I can't give you what you want right now, but I don't want you to leave either. I... need time.
[ His heart is locked behind so many doors, after all, and not all of them have opened just yet. Allowing himself to feel so intensely for someone else is a bridge that he still needs to cross. ]
You probably don't want to go on as many dates, or hang out as much as we have been for a little while, do you?
[ Fai knows that Yael is hurt, that he's done irreparable damage to the heart of the one he's falling for. Naturally he'd want some time to himself. That would be a fitting punishment for Fai anyway, and one that hurts Yael less. ]
no subject
In a way, Yael expected this. The reasonable thing to do in a situation like this is to ask for time apart, but it aches just the same. Yael will respect Yuui's boundaries, but a non-insignificant part of him fears there is no coming back from this.
Does he want time away from Yuui? Truly, he doesn't. If anything, he wants more time with him and wants to take every opportunity to make it up to him, but it's too early to plan on making amends. Time is, at moments like these, the only cure.
Yael withdraws from their hug. He sees the tears in Yuui's eyes and hears the sobs stop up in his throat and does nothing. It isn't his right to dry the tears from Yuui's eyes. That's a privilege he's lost today.]
By all means. Take your time.
[He won't answer the question of what he wants. He can't afford to.]
You need anything else? If not, I'm going to log off for the night.
no subject
He isn't sure what he wanted, but it certainly wasn't this. Did he want Yael to fight to keep spending so much time together, even though there's no realistic way he would at this point? Did he want Yael to say it was all okay?
Yuui doesn't know. He doesn't know anything anymore. ]
...You can go.
[ He has to, because Yuui can't hold it together much longer, and he can't afford to let Yael see what will happen to him. Letting Yael feel worse is simply not an option.
And yet, and yet, Yuui can't help but lean forward and press a soft kiss to Yael's cheek anyway. ]
Good night.