milky's bullshit containment zone

[weaseled]

Who ⚔ Yael & assorted nerds
What ⚔ A dungeon run and other things
When ⚔ After the party
Where ⚔ Errywhere
Content Warnings ⚔ Men with their tits out? Alcohol??? No correlation there surprisingly. nsfw i'm sorry mom

Comments

[weaseled]

[It's novel seeing Fai without a smile on his face, but novelty isn't always a good thing. Yael supposes he might get away with sneaking up on Fai, but beyond clapping a heavy hand on his shoulder before settling beside him, he has no tricks up his sleeves, no intention of playing games. Now simply isn't the time.

For now, his hand remains over Fai's shoulder, sitting loose against stark white fabric.]

That bad, huh? Sorry. If I'd known family was such a sore spot for you, I would've left it be.

[fluorite]

[ The hand on his shoulder feels absurdly nice, but Fai tries hard not to think about it too deeply.

He shakes his head. ]

That's unlike you. Shouldn't you be saying something like "you better be honest with me now, nerd"?

[weaseled]

Oh please. You'd expect the same out of me if I did that.

[Fair is fair, right? Yael isn't exactly ready to talk about his family situation either.]

Look. I know I called you out here, but you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. I get it.

[fluorite]

[ He appreciates that Yael is giving him the out, but it makes him feel a little strange, like Yael should be telling him to be upfront and to stop hiding all of this crap.

Fai stares down at his lap. ]

Do you want to know?

[weaseled]

[He's silent for a moment, considering his question in earnest before nodding.]

Yeah.

[He shouldn't want to know, but he does.]

[fluorite]

I told you I came across an email from CC Corp about the beta, right?

[ He's told a lot of people, so he can't remember if Yael is one of them. ]

It wasn't for me. I was going through my brother's emails to tie up any loose ends he had pending, and I saw that email, so I signed up. He always liked VR games like this, and was really excited about the beta test.

[weaseled]

So you thought you'd live the experience for him?

[No, perhaps it isn't quite that deep... but the thought must've crossed Fai's mind.]

I won't lie and tell you I'm cool with that. I'd rather know who you are than keep addressing you by your brother's name.

[fluorite]

[ Let him clarify a little bit before he decides to give up the ruse fully. ]

I wanted to learn more about him by doing this. I never really paid much attention to what he liked, so I thought I'd try it out while also getting his name cemented into the beta and therefore, the game.

[ His name will be here in posterity, whether or not Fai continues to play, until at least the game service stops. ]

...My actual name is Yuui.

[weaseled]

Mm. I'm sure your brother would've appreciated it. Even so, consider therapy.

[Just saying, pretty boy. Yael gives Fai's shoulders a squeeze, pulling him to his side. One good turn deserves another, he supposes, and so he whispers low in his ear.]

Sheza.

[Yuui isn't the only one who's abandoned his given name.]

[fluorite]

[ He allows himself to lean against Yael, to relax his shoulders just a little bit. ]

That's a nice name.

[ Closing his eyes for a moment, he takes a long, deep breath. ]

I've considered therapy, you know. Maybe when I figure out how I want to talk about it, I'll go.

[weaseled]

[He's happy to hold Yuui just like this, gazing out across the barren horizon and finding himself reminded of home. He'll take that compliment in silence knowing full well he can't agree with Yuui's assessment, but to reveal his dead name to him is already a big enough step. With the direction they're headed... well, that's too much to think about now as well. Much too overwhelming.]

If you think like that, you'll never end up going. Just admit that you're scared, you big baby.

[Harsh words, he knows, but be softens the blow by tucking a kiss into Yuui's hair.]

[fluorite]

[ His words might be harsh and the kiss there to soften it, but a laugh is bubbling up out of his throat even before that sweet gesture. ]

You might have to drag me there. Think you can manage that?

[ It's a joke, and his tone even indicates as much, but... how much of it really is a joke? ]

[weaseled]

[Hinting already... Yael's heart skips, his temperature rises, but he measures his breaths before his anxieties can get the better of him. It's too soon. It's too perfect. It feels too good to last. Calm down, calm down, calm down.]

...I'm surprised you didn't say anything about my engagement.

[His prior engagement, but Yael doesn't bother correcting himself, waiting instead to hear what Yuui has to say.]

[fluorite]

[ His smile drops and he chews on his bottom lip for a moment before finally being upfront with his answer. ]

I don't like to pry into the pain that others have gone through.

[ For Fai, it's as simple as that. If he stays away from it, then people won't ask him. ]

I assumed you didn't want to tell me about it, so I thought it was best I didn't seek that information out.

[weaseled]

[That's all well and good — thoughtful, even — however...]

...Wouldn't you want to know something like that?

[The rest of that thought goes unsaid: wouldn't you want to know a potential partner's past?]

[fluorite]

[ He can practically hear what Yael leaves unsaid, and his breath hitches. ]

I do want to know.

[ Badly. He’d seen Yael’s thread with Oria on the forums, read it over and over again, studied that picture and thought of all the implications of it. ]

But I don’t want to force you either.

[weaseled]

It's fine. You were going to learn about it sooner or later anyway.

[Rather, Yael was going to tell him about it sooner or later. Given the way things are progressing, he can't imagine keeping it hidden away from Yuui forever.

Yael recounts the story as if discussing an old injury— something that hurt him once but remains only as an inconsequential scar. Nothing much. Nothing big.]

A few years ago, I broke off my engagement with a woman I'd been dating since we were teens. We'd known each other since childhood and were sweet on each other from the day we met... that sort of thing.

To make a long story short, her family had other plans for her as far as marriage. I moved away after that. The end.

[It's a blunt ending, but Yael's endings often are. He keeps it brief, to the point, and unemotional.]

[fluorite]

[ It seems as if they might have a habit of recounting things in a similar way, he thinks, as all the times he's had to recount his bad experiences to others is reflected in the lack of emotion in Yael's voice. They both remove themselves from the difficulties in their past, don't they? ]

That must have been hard on you.

[ There isn't a trace of pity in his voice. This is an acknowledgement, one that he hopes Yael will agree with. ]

[weaseled]

It's fine. Everyone goes through rough patches.

[And he'd rather dismiss the entire thing as exactly that: a rough patch rather than a love that burned for the better part of his life before being snuffed out without a lick of warning.]

But that was then and this is now. I've moved on and moved forward.

[fluorite]

[ He shifts so that he's not tucked right up against Yael's side so that he can give him a little shove. ]

Don't be so dismissive of an important relationship like that. It's not fair to you or her.

[weaseled]

[Fai truly picks the worst hills to die on... In response to that shove, Yael sticks his tongue out at Fai. Pffpt.]

Give me a break here, will you? You know it was important to me. That doesn't change the fact that hanging onto the past isn't going to do anything for me.

[fluorite]

[ Well, he's right about that much at least, even if Fai is a big hypocrite and refuses to acknowledge that for himself.

...He wants to pinch that tongue as punishment. While he considers scolding Yael again, he puts that instinct on pause long enough to ask something else. ]

How long ago did you break up?

[weaseled]

[Fai can scold him all he wants later. Yael is an expert at shutting off his brain and ignoring nags, but he exhales a small sigh of relief when Fai doesn't immediately go for the throat.]

Three years ago. Long enough to move on, don't you agree?

[fluorite]

...I think so.

[ That's quite a long time, honestly, especially in this day and age, where people are immediately on dating websites minutes after ending a long relationship. ]

It took the full three years, didn't it? You didn't kiss anyone else until me.

[ That nervousness on Yael's part was unmistakable. ]

[weaseled]

[He doesn't ask to be called out like this, but Fai is correct. Yael remains quiet for a time before exhaling a sigh, long and thin.]

No. I wasn't ready to.