milky's bullshit containment zone

[weaseled]

Who ⚔ Yael & assorted nerds
What ⚔ A dungeon run and other things
When ⚔ After the party
Where ⚔ Errywhere
Content Warnings ⚔ Men with their tits out? Alcohol??? No correlation there surprisingly. nsfw i'm sorry mom

Comments

[weaseled]

Who says I'm excited?

[He isn't! He genuinely isn't!! But if wandering around the mall will lift Yuui's spirit, then Yael is more than willing to do it. What doesn't kill him will make him stronger, etc............. but as they walk, Yael keeps his eyes forward, only the slightest hint of a pout on his lips.]

"Too kind" is overkill. You haven't had enough nice people in your life if you think I'm too kind.

[fluorite]

And I think you just don't want to admit how big your heart is.

[ Good thing Yael has such big tits so he can protect his big heart.

He points at the Glare's, filled to the brim with cute accessories. ]

Let's go there.

[weaseled]

[You know what they say about a man with big, meaty tits............ bigger, meatier heart.

Yael regards the Glare's with, well, a glare. But in the spirit of getting this shit over with, he marches boldly into what is clearly a store meant for preteen girls while wielding Yuui as his shield. If anyone gives them dirty looks, he can turn his plaintive gaze onto Yuui and claim that he is but a shell of a man being dragged around by his needy, demanding malewife. There's truth to that.]

Every in here's tacky plastic junk. Next.

[.005 seconds into their Glare's shopping spree and Yael's already turning on his heel to flee leave.]

[fluorite]

Not so fast~

[ He tugs on the back of Yael's armor to drag him back inside much like he's grabbing onto the nape of a kittens neck. ]

Here.

[ Fai knows he has to be quick about this—efficient, one might even say. So, he places a tiara atop Yael's head before he makes another break for it. ]

[weaseled]

[Yuui is met with approximately no resistance from Yael— it's all for show, really, and he's effortlessly tugged back into Glare's and crowned the prettiest princess in all the land. Yay.]

What's this for? You're the fruity little princess here.

[HE SAID IT, HE CALLED HIM HELLA GAY, Yael takes the tiara off his head and plunks it on Yuui's. Much better.]

[fluorite]

[ You know what? At least it comes from a place of affection for Yael. It’s easy for Fai to laugh it off and give him a little shove.

He definitely looks better in the crown too. ]

I don’t know… I think you might be transforming. Every little shiver around my dick got you closer and closer to becoming fruity.

[weaseled]

[Ah, right. That time he let Yuui top. Yael's embarrassed, but he doesn't let that embarrassment shine through his cocky grin.]

So that's your agenda. Be careful you don't fuck me so hard that I outfruit you and get all the special attention instead.

[That little pizza boy's going to be giving him the free garlic knots instead.]

[fluorite]

[ He laughs, reaching out to grab both of Yael’s hands in his own. ]

Hehe… that would be kind of cute, though. Does that mean yours change up your wardrobe too? Maybe wear a crop top? Would you ever try out my heels?

[ They’re hidden deep in his closet, but he has a pair or two. ]

[weaseled]

A crop top? My stomach would get cold. Heels are another no. You're feet are smaller than mine.

[A crop top sounds hella impractical, as do heels. Yael has only ever dressed with practicality in mind, but that said, he sees the benefits of crop tops, just. Not on himself. Case in point:]

Hey. Why have you never worn a crop top and heels on a date?

[That'd likely mean going to a gay bar and getting hit on by men who aren't his Yuui, but that's fine. He's down to let his boyfriend's freak flag fly, so he can put up with some unwanted attention and free drinks for an hour or two.]

[fluorite]

You've never asked.

[ And it would definitely require a club or bar setting, and he can only picture Yael on the dancefloor, stiff as a board. That would be fun for only long enough for Fai to laugh at him.

But he could be convinced. With a hum, he allows his eyes to travel up and down Yael's body. ]

I think I'd like seeing your abs in a crop top.

[weaseled]

[The ogling encourages Yael to pivot and make a second attempt at escape. Maybe he'll get lucky this time and Yuui will show him some mercy?]

I'd look like an idiot. You may as well ask me to put on a bra.

[fluorite]

[ Look at that, he's lucky! But Fai quickly latches onto his arm, though he lets Yael direct them to another store. ]

No you wouldn't. Trust me. I'd find a crop top that would stop right at your stomach. It would accentuate your body.

[weaseled]

[Off they go to Spancer's. If nothing else, it's got to be better than a store whose target audience is prepubescent girls... but not by much. Current memes and weed culture is not really Yael's vibe, but hey, at least there are costumes and sex toys on the back wall.]

I seriously doubt that. Besides, I don't like drawing attention to myself.

[fluorite]

[ He grabs a baseball cap with a marijuana leaf on it and plops it onto Yael's head. ]

You really don't, despite your attitude. Sometimes I wonder if you try to attract attention anyway.

[weaseled]

[Ah, hm. He can practically feel the cheeto dust forming on his fingers with this damn hat on. Yael doesn't fight it knowing full well Yuui will plop some other atrocity on his head if he takes the weed hat off.]

Why would I do that? I get enough unwanted attention. If I could have any super power, I'd want invisibility.

[Yael grabs a 12 inch horse dildo and flings it at Yuui. catch!]

[fluorite]

[ His reflexes are thankfully quick and he catches it with ease, looking down at it with a "hm". ]

But then I wouldn't get to look at your sweet face. [ He sets the dildo down on the counter. Good thing no one else is in here. ] You must want some kind of attention, though. You say some outrageous things, and you're flirty.

[weaseled]

[Listen to all these false allegations! Yael writes them off with a noncommittal hum, turning his attention back to the sprawling wall of sex toys and turning various ones on.]

What can I say? I'm honest. Don't confuse that for farming outrage on purpose. If anyone's an attention seeker, you're it.

[fluorite]

[ He watches Yael turn on the different toys, mildly unimpressed. It's like he has a hundred big red buttons in front of him that he can't keep himself from pushing. ]

Am I? Tell me how.

[ Maybe he can be convinced. ]

[weaseled]

[It's okay Yuui, you can call him ADHD. A slim black butt plug eventually catches Yael's eye, and turning to Yuui, he balances it on the tip of his finger.]

Put this in and I'll tell you.

[fluorite]

Wow. In the store? Really?

[ But the ass-eating grin on his face says he very much approves of the idea.

Ah, but first... he rips open a package of toy cleaner and spritzes the plug down. If this was still a fully virtual world, he wouldn't care, but he's taking no chances. He refuses to die in the game because of an ass illness or whatever. ]

[weaseled]

Toy cleaner...? Prudent.

[That's his Yuui, always thinking ahead! While he cleans that toy, Yael goes rummaging around in another section of the store and emerges with a sexy Halloween costume for Yuui to wear. It just so happens to be a female vampire costume, but who is Yael to deny that his boyfriend looks sexy as hell in a pair of fishnets?]

While you're at it, put this on too.

[fluorite]

What weird fetish are you trying to live out right now...?

[ He's putting it on, though. Fai is quick to slip out of his usual armor, but those fishnets take a little bit of work to slide on because they're tight, hugging every little curve to his thighs as he slips them on.

When he has the rest of the outfit on, including the fangs, he raises and eyebrow at Yael. ]

So, should I bite you before I put in the plug, or after?

[weaseled]

A pretty common one.

[Costumes and sex toys are vanilla af. What's the problem? Yael shamelessly watches Yuui strip out of his armor and into his new sexy costume (rawr XDDDDDDD).]

After. I want to turn it on first.

[IT'S A VIBRATING PLUG BAYBEEEE]

[fluorite]

[ With a laugh, Fai settles back against the counter, propping a leg up so he can properly insert it. It's a little difficult navigating around the many holes of the fishnet, but he makes it work.

With a soft exhale, he relaxes his muscles and slides it in. ]

Fine, fine. Go ahead and turn it on.

[weaseled]

Impressive. Well, here goes.

[Yael even offers a whistle and a clap. It's like that hole was meant to fit things in it. Spinning the remote on his fingertip, Yael turns it on its lowest setting.]

Can you feel it?