altimit | [closed]

[closed]

Who: Owen & people witnessing his no good very bad forced openness.
What: Sometimes dungeon run effects aren't super fun?
When: Early October.
Warnings: gazes... likely mentions of child abuse, neglect, death & violence/physical assault, suicidal ideation, mental illness, ptsd, possibly also gender identity, transphobia and homophobia?? specific cws will be in the threads but this is not going to be a fun time for anyone. yay!

If anyone wants a thread with Owen while under the effect still, I am a) still working on some more starters but b) feel free to ask for one! Or if you want one in the fallout. There won't be anything tied to the event in this post, however, so wait for me over there.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ Because he wanted to be friends long before he's changing without realizing for half of the things that are happening. But Hien being who he is, he had no idea how to go about it.

But still, none of them are excuses he should be using even if he doesn't know what to do.

... ]

Not personal in that I have a personal reason to kill you.

[ He digs his thumb further in. ]

... I thought...

[ He quietly mutters the following: ]

I thought we could have been something like friends.

[ Surely, this must be laughable considering their history together. ]

…Something like friends?

[He doesn’t have friends. There are people who tolerate him so long as he’s what the expect from him and he can provide something for them, but they’re all basically strangers at the end of the day. Nobody knows anything about him. Not really. Everyone has the images they’ve crafted of him in their mind and their assumptions, but nobody knows who he is.

He’s just someone unknown.

So why would Hien think something like that?]

Why?

[Even someone like Hien wouldn’t want someone like him around. He doesn’t need him and there’s nothing likable about him, anyways.]

[ He digs his thumb deeper in, the fingernail about to break into the skin, but then he gets an idea. ]

... If you want to know, I guess you'll have to stay alive for it.

[HOW’S HE GONNA FIND OUT WHY IF HIEN DIES, HAKI!!!!!]

…Is that supposed to convince me? Goad me into sticking around to solve this mystery? Do you really think I’m going to believe I’m not just some inconsequential specter to you and that you’re not just pulling this out of your ass because it’s easier than being honest?

[ THEN DON'T DIE RIGHT NOW??? EZ ]

I meant right now, you prick.

[ Hien seems exasperated for a moment, but his expression rights itself into being more neutral. At least it seems less emotional than before. Is that good or bad? Who knows?

...

But Hien can't do it anyway, so he relents, withdrawing his hand from Owen's neck. ]

Do I really need a reason? You don't really have anything that I particularly want from you. People can be friends if they just want to.

[dies immediately of a broken heart or some other lame shit]

…Nobody wants to be friends with a person “just because”.

[He stays laying there, looking past Hien to the artificial sky.]

Everyone wants. Humans are selfish and greedy and others are just a means to an end. I’ve never met a person without ulterior motives.

[They don’t exist. It’s just against human nature.]

[ wheeze ]

Will it help you sleep at night if I say that I want to be friends with you because you're hot?

[ Well, like. He is. Owen is hot. But that's not why he wants to be friends. ]

[buffering… buffering…]

No?

[If Hien just wants to look at him, pictures exist. Don’t be weird.]

Then what do you want to hear? "I want to be friends because your singing is pretty and I only want you to sing for me"?

[ Man. Hien was feeling so sad, but now he just looks tired at Owen. ]

"Play the piano for me and make me feel special"? Because I don't know what answer you're looking for to feed into your confirmation bias.

Those are more believable answers than "just because".

[Still not what he wants to hear, but - he's not really sure what he wants, either. He knows what he's expecting. He's still certain that Hien will loathe him just the same as everyone else, and it's not like Owen has anything to offer him. Hien will see the truth of who and what he is and maybe then he'll actually follow through and kill Owen for the shame of being exactly as advertised.]

Why can't you just say you hate me?

Because it's not true. I'm being honest, like you said.

[ He asked!! But he'll also clarify: ]

I don't like a lot of things, but I've only genuinely hated one person in my life. You'll never reach that level.

What makes you so sure of that?

[He doesn’t understand Hien at all…

He finally pushes himself upright, knocking Hien away. He draws his knees to his chest, trying to sort out the mess his thoughts have made.]

You say that but can’t accept I’ll never believe you’re any different from everyone else. Haha…

[ Hien is knocked away, but he just sits next to Owen normally while on the grass. ]

Because I've met shittier people than you, and I don't hate them.

[That’s not much of a consolation, you know…]

…You don’t know anything about me or what I’ve done. You just know I sing and have dogs.

[He misses his dogs… stupid VR game trapping him inside. That’s all he had to live for and now they’re gone?]

So?

[ Owen... he fessed up that he killed people and you're worried about what you've done??--is the vibe that Owen might see when Hien raises an eyebrow. ]

[His nose wrinkles - because, well, he picks up that vibe and there might be a point there.]

So I'm just going to be someone you forget about soon enough. Nobody remembers strangers.

[He pushes himself up to his feet, still unable to stop himself from talking as he brushes himself off.]

So, I'll leave before you can throw me away. Before you leave me for dead like everyone else, and you won't even realize when I'm missing from your life because was I ever really someone worth remembering? Worth being friends with? That's how it'll end no matter how much you thought we could have been friends. Nothing will change that some day I'll just be another piece of your past you'll just gladly forget. I'll die and won't even be a memory that haunts you.

[ Hien listens to Owen talk, staying quiet, taking all those words in.

Then he flicks his forehead when Owen is done. ]

Just because you have abandonment issues doesn't mean you should keep fulfilling self-made prophecies. Stupid.

[Well, he wasn't expecting the flick or for Hien to just say the quiet part out loud.]

What? I don't have abandonment issues. What are you even talking about?

What you just said screams abandonment issues. You're probably not aware of it, but anyway. Stop cycling through it. Friendships are a two-way street. If you give up before it can even begin, it obviously won't work out.

[ He withdraws his hand to fix his bandages around his head. He'll let his emotions stop being perceived now. ]

[He didn’t sign up to this beta to be read for filth.]

…What about you, then? Are you not trapped in your own cycle?

Yes, but at least I'm making effort to leave.

[ Starting by making some friends? Yeah. That's how you do it. Totally. ]

Are you?

[He cocks his head to the side, reaching to tug at his bandages again.]

You took the fall for a crime you, presumably, did not commit years ago... and here you are, once again playing the scapegoat for a playerbase eager for someone to blame regardless of how accountable he actually may be. And you're doing it gladly, playing along and making yourself a villain. Are you truly not the same man you were before? Have you tried to change the cycle you find yourself in at all?

The playerbase needs something to blame, or their morale would be the in the shitters more than it already is. Communities are strong when they band together, and as long as they can pull that off, they'll be a force to be reckoned with.

... At least I can handle it.

[ Stop tugging at his bandages?? Wow. But Hien just lets Owen do whatever he wants with them. ]

[“I can handle it” says man in mummy cosplay.]

Like the corporation behind all of this isn’t something to rally against? They fucked you over, too, so why not do something about it?

[With the bandages unraveling, Owen places a hand on Hien’s cheek. He leans in, as if looking for something in his expression, and presses his lips together for a moment.]

Is it because letting yourself be hated is easier than proving your innocence, or do you feel responsible for this?

[ tell that to your fuckbuddy ]

Why should I bother proving my innocence to people who don't care, for those it doesn't matter? I don't feel responsible for it either, since I warned people to get off the game multiple times.

[ The bandages unravel a little, and the hand at his cheek makes his gaze shift from the grass to Owen's face. His expression is a little unreadable with his flat tone as usual. ]

And it's easier to be hated.

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