September and secret nsfw october shenanigans

[insinning]

Who: Emil Sinclair (Vogel) and anyone/everyone
When: All over September
What: Catch all, exploration, overflow + dungeon runs; lots of feelings and grieving and murderous thoughts.
Warnings: Nsfw in 25/9 thread just to be safe

 

"Over all the hilltops
Is quiet now,
In all the treetops
Hearest thou
Hardly a breath;
the birds are asleep in the trees:
Wait, soon like these
Thou too shalt rest."

Comments

[insinning]

[Oria. There's a small smile in return, uncertain but real. Next to him is a few sheets of paper, and five little candle stubs. He had honoured Aitla's memory through the game already. But this were for all of those he hadn't been able to]

We just need to fold them into boats. And then add the candles. Once we light them, we'll drop them in and then...watch them go into the horizon.

[He pauses, thinking]

...I'm sure we can make it work with a paper plane too.

[Some kind of lantern, drifting away]

[dissimulative]

Alright. I brought some extra candles and paper, just in case. Can you tell me how to fold paper into a boat?

[ He isn't good at arts and crafts, but he's damn well going to try his best. ]

[insinning]

Mm. [Sinclair nods, taking a sheet as he folds it in half]

We need to fold it here, first, along the center.

[Sinclair is patient. And his movements are slow, careful, steady. He has practice with this now, and his lines are crisp and neat. And if Oria needs him to guide him, he'll reach over, touch gentle as he helps him fold the paper into place]

[dissimulative]

[ Oria follows what Sinclair does. If anything, it's easier to copy and then process the information so that he could do it himself. He remembers every fold, every crease, how hard the paper is pushed, and all that. This is important, and Oria was not about to mess it up just because he didn't put his all into it.

He eventually finishes making a boat. ]

... There. I think that looks good.

[ Good enough to be sailed out. ]

[insinning]

[It's a small little boat, neat and tidy. Sinclair nods, setting his complete one down too]

Now we just add the candles in...

[He doesn't have anything like sticky tape to keep the candles in place. But they're both careful people, and the paper holds steady.]

And we light them.

[Sinclair had started a small fire pit behind them. Easy enough to pick up a stick, another piece of paper to light the candle from there]

[dissimulative]

[ Oria carefully lights the candle after adding it in. ]

Then we set them down on the water?

[ The ocean waters are calm, perhaps it's just for this moment that it would let the two process their grief, where nowhere else would allow them. ]

[insinning]

Yeah. The waves will take them away, to wherever they need to go.

[ He waits for Oria to be ready before he sets his first boat down, letting it be taken away on calm waters. The twin candles flicker in the twilight, the paperboats rising steadily over the surface of the calm waters. He blinks a little, and reaches over to hold Oria's hand.

He still had two left.

And for the last one...]

[dissimulative]

[ In that time, Oria managed to fold several more and use the same setup with the candle. When Sinclair reaches over with his hand, Oria holds it with a squeeze as if to reassure each other that it'll be alright.

He sets one out for his ex and watches the waves gently carry it away.

"Goodbye, Lenore."

Oria can only mouth what he wants to say, his voice feeling stuck in his throat, but this is fine. This is what Oria wanted. This much is enough.

He still has three left.

And for the last one... ]

[insinning]

[The first boat had been for his sister.

There was a star danced, and under that was I born. Once upon a time, she burned brighter than Sinclair could ever hope to aspire. But now...

Assist him. So to me will comfort spring

He thinks it's fitting he set that boat off first, alongside Oria's. He gives Oria another squeeze of his hand, swallowing back his tears.

Then, the next two boats...his mother and father had been together for decades. They should have been able to rest, side by side]

[dissimulative]

[ Oria watches the boat for Beatrice slowly leave and then looks down to see the pair of boats that Sinclair set down. Sinclair's family... his sister... and his parents... Oria doesn't believe in an afterlife, but he squeezes Sinclair's hand. Oria will protect him for as long as he can to the best of his abilities—and he will quietly promise that on the boats that represent Sinclair's family.

Oria has two boats that Sinclair may not be familiar with, but Oria releases them all the same: someone he couldn't protect and someone who Oria lives in the shadow of despite not existing from the moment he was born. He originally didn't plan to make a boat for the latter, but he thinks this will help settle his own matters of the heart. They're here to process grief today. ]

[insinning]

[He thought he wouldn't cry today. But still, his eyes feel damp with tears as he watches the boats sail over the waters, until the flickering candle flames fade into the twilight.

Sleep now blissfully and sweet, view in your dream paradise.

Words of a lullaby he wouldn't hear again. Softly, under his breath, he murmurs]

The birds are asleep in the trees:
Wait, soon like these
Thou too shalt rest...

[He has the last boat now. But this time, he adds the little fox in and he straightens up to hold it out]

...let's release the last ones together.

[dissimulative]

Sure.

[ Oria thinks he knows what Sinclair's last boat is for. After all, Oria's is the same.

So he sets the lastboat down on the water next to Sinclair's and watches them wash away. ]

[insinning]

[Sinclair watches unmoving, hand reaching back for Oria's as he holds on tight. Two boats. Two different wishes, hopes and feelings. But they are the same. Unbidden, tears begin to fall. He had been holding on with everything he had. But this is Oria. He doesn't need to hide anything here.

He had tried to keep hope. But when he had walked through that desolate apartment, it had sunk in.

So, with that final boat, he left another gift: for the Mithrun he had known

Eight flickering candles, carrying love and memories are swallowed by the horizon, unchanging, forever awash with the dying orange-gold light of the sun]

...I wonder if he'll like the ending to the story we made.

[dissimulative]

A story?

[ Oria squeezes Sinclair's hand. It'll be okay. He's here. He'll be by his side.

Even with all this, he can't manage to cry like Sinclair can. Thats why his tears are precious—Oria will believe he's crying for both of them. ]

[insinning]

[This is why he doesn't mind the ache. It hurts more than he can describe. But Oria is here. They're together. Everything is a little more bearable when Oria is hear.

More tears roll down his face. It's the first time he's truly cried since finding Mithrun's body. Like a dam cracking, the tears spill out]

Mm...he seemed to think I could write something worthwhile. [Even though Mithrun had no reason to] Once everything was over...[He leans against Oria, steadying himself]

Do you want to hear?

[dissimulative]

Yeah.

[ Oria adjusts his position so that Sinclair can be more comfortable when leaning on him. ]

I want to hear it—the story you two made.

[insinning]

[Sinclair nods, squeezing Oria's hand again, as he tries to recall it. How they had decided to bring the story together. It hurts.

It had hurt then, too. But it had been them, fighting against whispers.]

There was once a Fox, abandoned in a city, with nothing but old, broken umbrellas to keep it company. It yearned relentlessly for a home, companionship. Not just meaningless gestures of kindness. [Was that how it went? Yes, it's clearer now] It travelled the city without rest, searching for anything at all.

Then it meets an Owl. The Owl understood the Fox, but it couldn't be the companion or home it sought for. Because the Fox belonged to the ground, and the Owl would take to the skies.

[dissimulative]

Mm... did the fox try to look for someone else?

[ Oria wonders how this story came to be between the two, especially when Mithrun didn't seem like the type to write stories. ]

[insinning]

Yeah. But in that moment, neither of them had felt alone. So they learned from each other, and the fox realised - even though its companions may not stay constant, its friendship with the Owl was genuine.

[That had been Mithrun's contribution]

And so, the Owl took the Fox upon its wings and soared to the highest part of the city, where all the lights drowned out the stars. The Fox realised something. Every star was another lonely soul it couldn't see, because the lights blinded it. And so, even though the Owl had to leave...the Fox chose to stay, shedding the umbrellas that had bound it.

[This is where he had ended the story with Mithrun. But Mithrun said it could keep going]

Years passed, and the Fox continue to search for a home, and friendship. It had many companions over the years, but never a home. It taught its companions what the Owl taught it, and let them leave to find a place of their own.

Then, it means a child. A child that has fallen from the stars.

[The child cried endless tears. Home. It wanted to go home.

The Fox knew it had to return the child to its home. And the Fox, duty bound, took the child with it and took the long journey to the stars. And along the way, it reencountered its companions, one by one. And one by one, they all followed, until they reached the skies in the mountains, where the child could reach for the stars again.

It is here, the Fox realised something: home was with the hearts of those you touched, and were touched by in turn.

It's not the best ending. But Mithrun thought the story could continue and, he wanted to make something that could continue. The journey wouldn't end with the stars.]

[dissimulative]

[ Oria listens. Friendship, companionship, a home. They're all what people want.

... ]

I think you should publish it. It has a good message.

[insinning]

[Sinclair looks at Oria in surprise and then he smiles, ducking his head. Ah, was he crying that whole time? His throat hurts. But his chest feels lighter, somehow]

...he said something similar too.

[The boats are gone now. Sinclair can't see them anymore]

I...I'll have to think about what it looks like. But...maybe I will.

[A story for sad, lonely people like him and Mithrun, who found a world through Fragment full of people that shone brighter than reality, no matter how brief it had been. Leaning into Oria a little more with a soft exhale]

Thank you. For listening.

[For accompanying him. Sharing in their grief together. Everything is a little easier to manage now. Thread by thread, stitch back up the wounds and let them heal]

[dissimulative]

I'm sure you'll be able to think of something wonderful.

[ Oria lightly taps Sinclair's head with his own. ]

And as for me, I'll always be here with you. It's been... a roller coaster of emotions, that's for sure.

[insinning]

[ He closes his eyes briefly as he rubs his thumb over Oria's hand. Even as much as it hurts, they have each other. It's more than enough. It's everything.]

Mm... it's a little tiring, isn't it?

[dissimulative]

Yeah.

[ Oria looks out to the ocean and turns to look at Sinclair. ]

If Mithrun was gonna get distracted anyway, then he should have gotten fully distracted. Maybe then, he'd know what it's like... to live a life that he'd actually want.

[insinning]

[Sinclair looks up and thinks - how many times had he asked Mithrun? What will you do when--

His own vengeance has always been tainted by a desperate need for something warm and secure. Maybe that's why he's always been wishy-washy and weak. But Mithrun...]

...I wonder why if that's why he asked me about my future. He always reminded me, when it got difficult...I think deep down, he wanted that too. His apartment was so empty.