altimit | [Closed] misteaks' mistakes

...Oh. Yeah, thank you. I like having enough for other people, too. It helps it taste better.

[It feels a little overwhelming for once, to be surrounded by nothing but food out of affection. But he recognizes the familiar stack from so long ago, eyes softening slightly.]

Did you guys have a party?

Eh, wasn't much of a party. Can't say I was all that hungry.

[ If he's paying close attention, Barrett will notice the faint smell of wine coming from Hector's breath. ]

Happy to cut a slice of that cake for you if you're up for it, though. I know you have plenty to celebrate.

[Ah. Someone's been drinking. There's a brief flicker of concern across his face, but Hector seems upright and communicative...]

Heh. I'll always take cake. Maybe I should cut it, though. Or at least hold the plate. You need to take care of your arm. [And watching a piece of cake fall to the ground due to lack of arms would be so, so sad for everybody.]

I don't know if anything I did deserves celebrating all that much. But I'm glad everyone made it through.

[ Hector can't help but give a wry grin and a chuckle. Someone else telling him to take care of himself? That's rare. And it's always been Barrett that's been the one to do it, huh.

There's a little relief in his chest; he's glad he's back. ]

I think we're glad you made it through. Everyone was worried about you. No one knew what was going to happen. I think we were all relieved you turned out okay.

[ With his good arm, he hands the cake and its container to Barrett, then the knife. His eyes drift upward and settle firmly on the boy's. ]

You have no idea how happy I am to see you alive.

[The container is taken in silence as the redhead repositons it on the couch, looking over the remainder of letters. A celebration he feels happy for, but knows shouldnt be meant for him.]

I'm still confused by it, I guess. I... hurt a lot of people, being the way I was.

[He stays pensive as the knife starts to cut out the lines of a couple generous pieces.]

We're all really lucky nobody died. Not just me.

I know. [ His eyes rest on the way Barrett cuts the cake, ready to move just in case it falls. He's definitely in a better state to cut it than Hector is, but that still doesn't mean he's readying himself to help at the drop of a hat. ] And I'm not taking that for granted.

[ He's gotta make sure everyone's ready to go and in shape when the next Phase hits, whenever that might be.

Speaking of, his eyes drift lower and settle on the bright blue cast on his leg. That wasn't there before. ]

What happened to your leg?

[ :) ]

[A pause, brief, before he continues in his cake serving.]

...I'll have to get used to being the one remembering now, huh? Ah, we're gonna need plates--

[He takes a second to bring his free hand to his mouth, licking frosting off his fingers.]

Lily did this to me. Cubia. He found a way to hurt us in the real world and snapped my leg while I was on the field for a football game. He told me later it was to teach me a lesson.

I don't remember a lot of it. But a few people saw it happen. You were one of them.

[ They need plates? Not a problem. Hector gets up and wanders to where he assumes plates might be. He doesn't know, and it might take a moment, though, since he's never been to this guild before.

As he's rummaging, his ears pick up on what Barrett says, and several of those words...phrases hit him oddly. From this angle, Barrett can't see the way his expression twists in all the weird, confused ways. ]

The real world? [ He says this as though Barrett's just mentioned the existence of something totally outrageous, like "work" being a place where someone sits at for eight hours a day. He casts a glance over at him before collecting a couple of smaller plates. ]

When was this? [ He sounds genuinely confused. ] I feel like I would remember seeing you break your leg.

[ Because of Cubia, no less. Hector is going tear that AI apart himself. ]

About a month and a half ago. It was the week before we all were called into that weird mandatory meeting for CCCorp. I almost wasn't able to make it to that. [It's said clearly, confidently.]

Do you remember that? That meeting made you really mad. Right before, you asked me if you could use a picture I took with Levi while I was in the hospital. It was even on the forums -- here, I think I can find it.

[About thirty seconds of forum scrolling later, and Hector will be sent a link to a forum post from mid-september.]

If... I remember right, that's part of why you ended up disappearing for a while.

[ Hector returns with plates in hand. He lets Barrett have them as he sits back down in his chair, eyes unfocused as he scrolls through the information, reading back on things he has no clear recollection of, but now has solid proof of.

He remembers disappearing, of course. He remembers...lots of anger, before that. Genuine fury, frustration. But why? Hell if he knows. Though the memory might be gone, those emotions still ring true in him, and his mind scrambles for facts and events to hold onto as he takes all this in. ]

I...don't remember any of this. [ In a rare occasion, the fear is clear in his voice. His eyes focus again as he closes those windows and looks to Barrett again. ] I don't understand. I know there's something...out there. [ He waves his uninjured arm vaguely. ] But I've never been there. Fragment's where my life is.

[He sees that fear, and his own eyes soften with little more than empathy. He remembers how angry and afraid he'd been just a week ago, when people demanded he needed to remember things that no longer made sense.]

It's okay. I think... this place, or Cubia, or both... it's all really trying its best to take all of that away.

There is something out there, though. And Fragment hasn't been your whole life. I think the real you would laugh if he ever heard that.

[He carefully starts placing out cake slices as he continues.]

Your name is Mehmet. You work as a park ranger over in Sequoia National Forest in California, in the United States. It kept you pretty busy, and you never got to play the game much because of it. But you really seemed to like what you did. You were able to make my game that week in September because we played in Fresno that weekend, which was less of a drive for you. And you couldn't stay to see me in the hospital, because you had to go back to the park. I was in surgery, so you spoke to my older brother, Lucas.

You had a big social media following. I think you mentioned it was on Instagram. That's what you thought broke your NDA.

...

You had a mother, and a father. You used to have an older sister that you really loved. Demet. She went missing. You used to struggle with drinking when she wasn't around anymore. You used to see things that weren't there, because you missed her so much. I think... it still happens to you now, sometimes. Or, it seems like it might.

Edited 2023-11-09 16:57 (UTC)

[ Hector just sits in silence, listening.

It all sounds so foreign, alien to him. So many words he feels like he's never heard before in his life, but as he absorbs the information, it doesn't feel...wrong. He doesn't know if it's right, obviously, but it sits comfortably in him.

Despite that, though, he feels like he's having an out of body experience—hearing about a version of him, out there, somewhere, with a life that sounds much more defined than the vague, fuzzy edges of Hector's memory of his life here in Fragment. He feels like he's been here his whole life, but...

His eyes dart away, almost reflexively, at mention of a sister. So that's why he drifts to the wine when he's stressed and upset, so that's why in his quiet moments alone, he finds himself talking to the air and staring at empty doorways.

But part of him, the cornered animal, is instinctively afraid of being torn open and exposed like this. His expression twitches as he looks to Barrett again, a shadow of doubt cast over his expression. ]

Where...did you hear all this?

[ Considering what just happened, he doesn't know if Cubia still has any sort of influence over him... ]

[He sees that doubt, and for once, he doesn't flinch against it. Not out of obliviousness, but of certainty.]

From you.

Everything but your sister is something you told me, or you told someone on the forums. Demet... that's something I saw that I don't think was for me. Like how you saw what happened to my sister.

[He holds out one of the slices of cake.]

It's okay if it doesn't seem real. But I think, out of anyone, you would have known that the world is beautiful and needs to be protected, even if it's not all that perfect.

So I'll hold it for you, until you can remember. Okay?

[ From him?

Hector is quiet for a few more moments. He absently takes his slice of cake, not even a word of thanks, and stares at it as he holds it in his lap.

The world and all its imperfections—that tugs at something, deep in his heart. Though he's long since forgotten his love for the majesty of nature, that desire to help and protect is still a flame that burns bright within him. He isn't conscious of the way he nods in response to that. He may not know this other self he has, but he still knows himself.

When he looks up at Barrett again, his eyes are softer. There's a smile in them, though it doesn't show on his lips. ]

Thanks, Barrett. [ His tone is genuine.

But he leans back to grab a fork and begins carving out pieces to eat. ]

So if you know about the other me— [ He shoves a piece into his mouth and continues to talk with his mouth full. ] Then what about you? Tell me about yourself. Your, [ vague fork gestures ] other self.

Heh. It feels like we're doing introductions all over again.

[His bites are generous, also talking clear through everything he says. It's fine, Hector has set a precedent for no table manners here, Barrett can now be free.]

I'm from a big family in the Sacramento area -- mmmn, God, this is good cake... I have six brothers - five are older, and I have a fraternal twin who's younger than me. Levi is one of my older brothers - not the oldest one, but he's third. The oldest, Lucas -- he works really hard so we all have a place to call home. We all broke ties with our dad a long time ago.

I like sports and trying a lot of good food. Before Fragment, I'd just gotten accepted into college on a full scholarship for football. CCCorp had to make a deal with my school on the rules I'd need to follow while playing the beta so it wouldn't interfere with the game season.

A broken leg means I'll probably need to rethink a lot when I get out of here, though.

Edited 2023-11-10 14:18 (UTC)

[ They're not even eating at a table, so why have manners anyway?!

Hector listens as he eats, even if he isn't looking at Barrett the whole time. A big family—he remembers that part about Levi, of them being brothers. He doesn't remember Lucas. He understands sports, like as a concept, and he can see that. At least his muscles make sense, unlike Hector's.

He looks up when Barrett's finished, and he smiles. There's a glint of confidence in his eyes. ]

I think you'll figure it out. [ No question. ] You're a good kid. And a smart one. I know you won't let a broken leg hold you back.

[There's a momentary pause, as though the young man feels the confidence may be misplaced. But he tries to return to the feeling rather than dismiss it, letting his fork trace part of the empty portion of his plate.]

It's kind of hard to really believe right now. After everything, I haven't feel very good. I haven't feel very smart, either. And for a while, I thought everything I wanted was just falling apart. I can't do what I dreamed about anymore.

I think... that's why Lily really clung to me, in the end. Because I felt so hopeless.

But...

Now, after everything, I still... feel it's going to be okay, somehow. So long as I don't give up. I've got people that love me. Here, and out there.

[His smile is bittersweet, but genuine.]

So maybe you're right.

[ It's times like these that Hector really wishes he knew more about this life outside of Fragment, these experiences he's supposedly had. Quietly and silently to himself, he curses how helpless he feels right now. He just doesn't know what to say to encourage him. Emotionally, he has full faith in Barrett. But intellectually? Blank.

Still, he can still draw on the experiences he has here and now. He starts scooping together the crumbs that he missed into a little pile near the outer ridge of his plate. ]

I think the biggest thing you can do to hurt Cubia is prove him wrong. You will definitely be fine. [ He doesn't want to say Lily anymore, because he doesn't feel that monster of a construct deserves the name. ] And even if we don't remember the same things you do, I don't think that changes their faith in you.

[ He scoops up the crumbs and shovels them in his mouth. ] I know I'm right.

[ He grins!!! ]

Edited (hadsfajhsd) 2023-11-12 18:38 (UTC)

[He can't help but snicker a little at that, taking a bite of his own slice that's a bit too big for his mouth, chewing thoughtfully.]

Yeah. I want to trust in you guys more than I have been in the past. Even if it's hard to trust in myself. Or... I guess, especially when it's hard to do that.

[Something Hector said does seems to weigh on him a little, though, even as he traces a finger against a bit of frosting left behind on his own plate and brings it to his mouth.]

I do want to prove him wrong. But... I don't know if I'll be able to hurt him when it counts.

[ Ah, so is a fight inevitable, then? From the way Barrett seems to dip into gloominess, the wording, puts the thought into Hector's head. Maybe Cubia will deliver himself on a silver platter for the pummeling.

That would be the best case scenario, he thinks. ]

It's okay. [ He'll keep saying this again and again, because by god he will do everything in his power to make sure it is. He places his empty plate to the side and leans back in his chair, getting comfortable, but still attentive. ] If it comes to that, you hopefully won't be facing him alone. Ideally, all the rest of us will be there by your side, and we'll be supporting each other.

[ A beat. ]

You're probably sick of hearing this from other people, but I think nicknaming him Lily was a mistake.

[ Because look where it got u, kiddo :/ ]

[...]

Yeah. I know.

Not many people have actually talked to me about it. Levi was really mad at first, but he's forgotten. Shoka, too, when she found out. And... now you.

I don't really talk about her that much. About... what happened. But I guess... someone told someone at some point, though. I feel like I see it all over the forums now from people I've never told.

[An important context, but still something that scraped at the wounds inside of him and kept them raw. A consequence among many for his mistakes. He had no control over the information now that it was loose.]

I thought if her nickname was a part of the game, it would be nice to have something to remember her by. That maybe I could surprise Levi with it someday. But... it just feels like the opposite now.

[ Though the context, true understanding of what he saw in the mirrors all that time ago has left him with all the other memories of the world outside of Fragment, Hector still knows that Lily is the name of someone extremely precious to Barrett, someone he lost a long time ago.

So he gets the need to keep her memory alive, somehow. And he gets that, maybe when Cubia first appeared to him, he had no idea what would happen. Hector thinks of what he might've named Cubia, if he came to him first, and he knows he would've picked something stupid. Like Onion. ]

I know. I get it. [ He crosses both his arms and his legs. He looks hard at Barrett, but not in an accusing manner. ] But you can find other ways to honor her memory here. It's not too late to change things. I just don't think Cubia's worthy of the name anymore.

[ There's another moment of silence as he debates saying this. He doesn't want to keep hounding him like he did before, but... ]

I know neither of us were really...ourselves. But it did make it a little hard to talk about him with you. [ ... ] You were really attached.

...I know.

I trusted him a lot. So it hurt to have people not see my side of things. And when Tarvos was getting stronger... I just got angry, too. Lily gave me purpose when I was Tarvos. Nothing else mattered more.

[He was nothing but a machine of loyalty and outrage by the end... but even before, he knows he'd tried far too many people and their cumulative patience. Part of him is surprised anyone had come back to speak at all.]

...I did a lot of really awful things, thinking I could protect him. But I just hurt people. I made myself look stupid. [There's something fragile in how his tone drops for the briefest of moments.] And Lily... Cubia... never really cared.

...

I'm sorry. For the way I spoke to you. For hurting you, and not trying to listen more.

Edited 2023-11-15 04:47 (UTC)

[ It's so clear in hindsight. Hector's question of what happened to you was clearly Cubia meddling in Barrett's person. Which obviously wasn't his fault. But it tugs in a weird way to know that Hector wasn't there to help him. He wasn't even there to know what happened. If only he had done something differently, or said something, maybe he could've done something to prevent this from happening... Now all he can do is help patch things up and pick up the pieces.

Hector's close enough that he can lean forward in his chair, grip Barrett's shoulder firmly, and fix him with a steady gaze. ]

I'm sorry, too. I didn't know what was going on, and I wish I'd done more to help you. You're okay, Barrett.

[ He didn't even know about Cubia until it was too late. He was too blasé, and then he was on the back foot when it actually mattered...

He leans back in his chair, hand retreating to fiddle with the hem of his clothes. ]

I don't think anyone blames you. Everyone kinda gets the bigger picture, and...I think people have a clear distinction between you and whatever Cubia's infection was making you do.

[ At least, that's how it is for Hector. ]

...I don't know if it's that simple anymore.

[The sentiment and solidarity feels nice. But he knows the comments he's already received, from friends and strangers alike, have been mixed. Some are willing to forgive. Some may never want to. He was still himself when be chose to speak to Cubia the first time, and many times after that. So he knows he can't blame people for being upset at his own ignorance.]

But... I can't really take anything back now. All I can do is try to help make things right.

I don't want his paradise. I just want to get everyone home.

[Closed] misteaks' mistakes - the sequel (catchall)

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