[Closed] misteaks' mistakes - the sequel (catchall)

[gluttoning]

Who: Mr_Misteaks and also some other people
What: In person catchall + dungeon runs
When: October thru November
Where: various, please note in headers
Content Warnings: nsfw, ED discussion Please cw in headers.

[overflow and log space for October and November]

Comments

[secondthoughts]

[ Though the context, true understanding of what he saw in the mirrors all that time ago has left him with all the other memories of the world outside of Fragment, Hector still knows that Lily is the name of someone extremely precious to Barrett, someone he lost a long time ago.

So he gets the need to keep her memory alive, somehow. And he gets that, maybe when Cubia first appeared to him, he had no idea what would happen. Hector thinks of what he might've named Cubia, if he came to him first, and he knows he would've picked something stupid. Like Onion. ]

I know. I get it. [ He crosses both his arms and his legs. He looks hard at Barrett, but not in an accusing manner. ] But you can find other ways to honor her memory here. It's not too late to change things. I just don't think Cubia's worthy of the name anymore.

[ There's another moment of silence as he debates saying this. He doesn't want to keep hounding him like he did before, but... ]

I know neither of us were really...ourselves. But it did make it a little hard to talk about him with you. [ ... ] You were really attached.

[gluttoning]

...I know.

I trusted him a lot. So it hurt to have people not see my side of things. And when Tarvos was getting stronger... I just got angry, too. Lily gave me purpose when I was Tarvos. Nothing else mattered more.

[He was nothing but a machine of loyalty and outrage by the end... but even before, he knows he'd tried far too many people and their cumulative patience. Part of him is surprised anyone had come back to speak at all.]

...I did a lot of really awful things, thinking I could protect him. But I just hurt people. I made myself look stupid. [There's something fragile in how his tone drops for the briefest of moments.] And Lily... Cubia... never really cared.

...

I'm sorry. For the way I spoke to you. For hurting you, and not trying to listen more.

[secondthoughts]

[ It's so clear in hindsight. Hector's question of what happened to you was clearly Cubia meddling in Barrett's person. Which obviously wasn't his fault. But it tugs in a weird way to know that Hector wasn't there to help him. He wasn't even there to know what happened. If only he had done something differently, or said something, maybe he could've done something to prevent this from happening... Now all he can do is help patch things up and pick up the pieces.

Hector's close enough that he can lean forward in his chair, grip Barrett's shoulder firmly, and fix him with a steady gaze. ]

I'm sorry, too. I didn't know what was going on, and I wish I'd done more to help you. You're okay, Barrett.

[ He didn't even know about Cubia until it was too late. He was too blasé, and then he was on the back foot when it actually mattered...

He leans back in his chair, hand retreating to fiddle with the hem of his clothes. ]

I don't think anyone blames you. Everyone kinda gets the bigger picture, and...I think people have a clear distinction between you and whatever Cubia's infection was making you do.

[ At least, that's how it is for Hector. ]

[gluttoning]

...I don't know if it's that simple anymore.

[The sentiment and solidarity feels nice. But he knows the comments he's already received, from friends and strangers alike, have been mixed. Some are willing to forgive. Some may never want to. He was still himself when be chose to speak to Cubia the first time, and many times after that. So he knows he can't blame people for being upset at his own ignorance.]

But... I can't really take anything back now. All I can do is try to help make things right.

I don't want his paradise. I just want to get everyone home.

[secondthoughts]

[ Ah. Well, Hector probably has his blind spots. His unyielding faith means, in a weird naive way, he's willing to forgive Barrett and Mithrun for what they've done. And he fully expects everyone else to do the same. It's straightforward in his mind. ]

Neither do I.

[ He relaxes, looks at Barrett. ]

I'll do whatever I can to help you, too.

[gluttoning]

...

Could you have more cake with me, then?

[secondthoughts]

[ Barrett is very lucky, because the laugh Hector gives is more akin to a soft chuckle. A giggle, if you may. This is rare, and Barrett deserves it. ]

Sure.

[ He reaches for the container again and hands it off to the big son for him to cut it up.

It's hard to describe how relieved Hector is that he's alive. Sharing cake with him is probably the best thing he could ask for. ]