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Mm. We are. [Friends. It makes him happy to hear that, enough that the next present meets a more dignified end.] He understands...a lot, I think.

[ Is understanding a good thing, in that context? Better than speaking into the emptiness... Michel closes on the last present together with Vogel, watching him thoughtfully. ]

I cannot claim to understand as well. But if you want to tell me about it, or about Kromer...

[There's nothing left to vent out his anger on, so Sinclair is left bowing his head. A strange, dark look flits across his face]

...there's nothing I can tell you. She got away with it. [A pause, as he considers] Did you ever consider killing her? That girl?

[ Taking in the look on Vogel's face, he thinks that maybe he is in fact qualified to understand this one thing. ]

At the time... if I could have, she would be dead.

[ In desperation, self-defense, the fury of the moment, a fourteen-year-old's total lack of emotional regulation. He gives a slow sigh and tilts his head in the direction of the dungeon to steer them along. ]

...she would have deserved it.

[Sinclair is vehement about that. He stares at his lance and thinks about what Mithrun had told him.

His fingers tighten around his lance.

Yeah.

If he lets Kromer continue to live

Then

He's responsible for it isn't he?]

It would have relieved my feelings... perhaps. At the cost of the happiness of people I care for.

[ "Deserved" is too high a threshold for him to summit. He hates Aimee, deeply. That she hadn't killed him unintentionally was simple luck. To kill her in return, when he had survived? ]

I don't wish it. [ But Vogel's situation isn't the same, is it? ] Do you want to kill her? Kramer?

[Sinclair frowns, looking down.

Happiness, huh?

He cared about Oria. Michel. They might feel hurt...but this was different]

I want her dead.

[Softly, unsteady as his hands shake on his lance. If he had a chance, it was clear

He would take a knife. Gun. Bat. Anything and then he'd

----

Those are thoughts he can't voice to anyone but Mithrun]

For my parents, my sister...

[ It's not the same. Michel, after all, still has people whose happiness he cares about.

He watches Vogel's hands shake. The movement is a little halting, but finally, he reaches out to try to steady him with one hand on his shoulder. ]

You have every reason to hate her. I would, too. I do. [ Just that memory is enough. But, how to put it... ] If that's what you wish for, then you can't use them as your justification. It would be... for yourself.

...I know.

[There's a darkness in his gaze, but he doesn't pull away from Michel's touch]

...when she comes for me...

[He trails off, looking into the distance]

[ If he's not pulling away, then Michel will hold on, just for a little longer. ]

...Do you think that's the only way you'll stop being afraid of her?

[He glances up, looking hollow]

It's the only way I'll be free.

From what? In what way?

[ That look... Michel is terrible at offering or accepting hugs. But he's beginning to wonder if he should try. ]

It's unreasonable of me to interrogate you on this, I know.

[ But he wants to understand -- more, he wants Vogel to consider it carefully, in all its repercussions. ]

You saw my memory. I managed to fool myself all this time but looking back... she'll come for me.

[ Sinclair trembles a little, caught between fear and loathing]

I've never once been free. So before then--

[He'll tear her apart limb from limb. Drive a knife into -----

And

There will be no justice. The chance for that was long gone]

[ There's no monsters around right now. Michel puts his sword away so he can bring both hands to Sinclair's shoulders, giving him a little shake. That distant, haunted look in his eyes plucks a chord of recognition in him. ]

Emil. Don't lose yourself in panic. You believed what you believed for a reason. Explain it to me properly.

[ Deep, panicked breaths as he struggles to even out his breathing. Michel's hands on his shoulders are an anchor to reality he desperately needs and yet]

...she never went to prison for it. Any of it. She plead insanity and got away with it--

[ Admittedly, from the memory alone, he could see reason for that. But even if that were the case... ]

Did they simply turn her loose?

They said...with proper psychiatric support she'd be able to be a functioning member of society because she's so young [ He can't stop shaking] but her family's rich and--- [She's being supported by a group he can't name]
She has followers. So many.

[ It would be irresponsible to say something lightly here. "It will be fine"? About a girl who had done the things he saw in that memory? He squeezes Vogel's shoulders lightly in reassurance as he thinks. ]

And you? You said you knew Mithrun and Oriade. Do you have anywhere you can go?

I wouldn't involve Oriade [Notably, Mithrun is the exception] -- and I'm not running away. Not again.

[His shoulders shake in earnest, shuddering breaths again]

It was my fault, even if people try to tell me otherwise. If I hadn't--[Choking out a second confession might be too much for him, but Michel has to know. Unlike him, Sinclair wasn't innocent. Not at all]

[ Michel notes that exception, but he notes the shuddering more. Careful, awkwardly, he tugs Vogel closer as if to gather him in. There's no confidence in the gesture and he'll abandon it at the slightest resistance. ]

If you hadn't what?

[ Does he have a face that's easy to confess to? But the more he understands, the more he can piece this together himself... ]

[Maybe that's what Sinclair needed all along. A hug. He crumbles visibly as he hugs Michel in turn, breaking down in sobs]

I told her too much. Family secrets. If I had pushed back when she wanted to see my home, then she wouldn't have known how to get in. I should have kept my mouth shut and then maybe my family--

[ Oh. Was it really that simple? Even though he has no idea what he's doing?

Emil is small and fragile. It's easy to enfold him in a hug in one flustered squish. There was a time when he'd liked this too, wasn't there? When Didier's hugs had felt like the safest place in the world. ]

Do you really think it would be that simple? She wanted something from your family. You didn't force her hand. Her actions aren't your responsibility.

[Sinclair shakes his head. He can't explain it well, the overwhelming guilt that wracks him every day he wakes up and remembers his parents are gone. But Sinclair tightens his hold on Michel, not wanting him to let go. A part of him wonders if this is what having an older brother would have been like]

I should have been smarter.

[Maybe she had known already, maybe she hadn't. It didn't matter]

Is it stupid, to be fooled by someone? To trust?

[ It can be. Maybe there's nothing he can say that will make Emil believe otherwise. He reaches up with one hand to ruffle his hair very gently, not easing up on the hug with the other arm. ]

If blaming yourself gives you a sense of control over what happened, then it may be that I shouldn't take that from you. But I don't agree.

[ Sinclair gives a watery laugh, face still buried against Michel's shirt. This is embarrassing. But he's slowly calming down]

... that's because you're a good person.

[ To hold kindness, to let go... what kind of strength did that take?]

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