altimit | .:Oh shit it's November:.

I've—

[ Already tried his cooking. But of course, Ganymede probably doesn't remember that now. He had mentioned it when he visited Gorre, but...

...That's fine. Michel finally glances down to stab a forkful of eggs. He hesitates. And then he gives in to the absurd impulse, and lifts it up to offer over to Ganymede.

He promised to stay. So... he's going to try to find simple happiness in these silly things. Even if he feels ridiculous doing it. ]

I-I've wanted to try it like this, though.

[ Well, more like, he thinks Ganymede would be tickled by trying this. But that's fine. ]

[ Ganymede's visitation of Gorre was probably a bad choice that lead to a stream of other bad choices, but it was somehow also very enjoyable for certain reasons.

But then again, the blond gives pause. Technically he must have eaten when he gave food to Michel as Gorre. Otherwise he might not be healthy at all, right?

Though, Michel is right. He brightens up at the suggestion. ]

...You mean, us feeding each other??

[ He sticks a fork in his own eggs, but leans forward to eat some off of Michel's fork before offering some to the other male, smiling brightly.

He had been wanting to do this for awhile, and when the other man was under the control of a program essentially, he wouldn't indulge him. After swallowing down the food, he says: ]

Here. Say ah?

[ Look, it was a brilliant journey of self-discovery and only moderate trauma for all. Ganymede discovered so many things, and Michel might have had his horizons inadvertently broadened by new data.

Anyway... Ganymede looks so cutely excited by that idea that Michel can't regret it. It really was the sort of gesture he liked, wasn't it? ]

I don't... have to actually say 'ah,' do I?

[ He's just a little concerned about how much commitment to the bit Ganymede expects. But he opens his mouth and obediently leans forward to accept it, smiling just a tiny bit. ]

[ So, in the end, it pretty much benefited them both, huh? Thanks Cubia (?) (derogatory)

Anyway, it's embarrassing but Ganymede really is. He is actually rather into being very domestic. When Michel points it out via the question, he does manage to blush. ]

Well, no...

[ But he does smile when the other takes in the food, and excitedly goes to scoop up another portion. He sees the smile too so that smoothes out the embarrassment, though. ]

How did it taste? It's a little cold, but...hopefully it isn't bad?

...It's good. I like your cooking. I usually don't bother to eat this well...

[ Which probably makes him sound like a disaster. But Ganymede knows that by now...

This kind of gesture is easier with all of his memories back. He can remember allowing Oria to stuff food in his mouth, remember the cute domesticity of his visit to Ganymede's house. It isn't all the cold chills up his back at the memories of Aimee.

Still, he reaches over to settle his palm lightly on Ganymede's knee. It makes it a little easier. He feels less helpless and more grounded in the moment... and he can give him an encouraging little squeeze for that cute look on his face before he leans in to accept another bite of food. ]

[ If it can make Michel happy and not bring back any bad memories too, that's important to Ganymede. ]

Well, good! I'll make sure you continue to eat well.

[ Then, he feels the hand rest on his knee, which when squeezed makes him let out a little sound of surprise. But, he is brighter for it. That's a good sign to him as anything from Michel. He will keep feeding the other male, at a reasonable pace. ]

Once we're finished resting up, we should also check out one of those recreation areas again. I wouldn't know which one, though.

[ Michel is willing to trade, offering bites to Ganymede in return. Truthfully, he wouldn't normally even notice the food being cold himself. He hopes Ganymede doesn't mind all that much, either. ]

...Once you've rested properly. I am not taking you camping with a concussion...

[ What else is there? The beach, where they'd shared their first kiss, is now forever the place where he watched Ganymede be crushed into the ground and nearly die. With the knowledge in the back of his mind that he hasn't fully recovered from that, the uncertainty of if he will fully recover from that even if they manage to escape—

He pushes that thought away. Let those memories go. Just like when he was becoming Gorre... simply try to make new ones to replace every one that had been poisoned. For now, he can't think of what else to do. ]

The hotsprings again? Or the ski lodge. I don't know how to ski, [ and Ganymede shouldn't be, ] but I did used to enjoy watching the snow from inside... Do you like that sort of thing?

[ He would notice it's cold but when Michel feeds him in turn, it suddenly doesn't matter. ]

Camping? We really could go camping...

[ Ganymede what did Michel just say??

Anyway, his mind is whirling, and he just subconsciously (or consciously?) skips over the beach, because why would that be a proper consideration? So there's the mall, the theatre...skiing, or hotsprings! ]

We could go to the ski lodge. I don't remember what it's like to watch snow from inside a home. Especially since a lot of my memories are gone.

But, I did send images of my homeland to someone in my messages, and it doesn't seem like a cold place.

[ Greece does have colder spots, mountains, ski resorts, and the like, however. He just doesn't recall right now. ]

[ Michel thinks he's too old for the mall, himself — although he wouldn't necessarily mind playing arcade games with Ganymede, come to think of it... ]

...It isn't. I've visited, once. You told me I would "fry like a baby chicken"... and I did.

[ It's alright if Ganymede doesn't remember. He can hold those memories for both of them now, until they find a way to bring them back. ]

There might be colder areas by the mountains. It's a large enough country for that. [ Probably. ]

[ They can play car racing games and Michel can be overwhelmed with how much of a shitty driver Ganymede is. ]

Did I kiss your sunburns better?

[ That's not how it works and he knows it, he's just actually teasing now, smiling a little. Food feeding will continue until it is all gone. ]

There's mountains? And it's a large country? Is it bigger than yours?

[ Michel, who does not himself know how to drive thanks to living in a country with public transport, is prepared to be horrified...

Although now he's beginning to blush dully again, not unlike another sunburn. ]

Y-you... may have tried.

[ There was no denying how affectionate Ganymede was, after all. He trades Ganymede bite for bite for the food, indulgent as long as Ganymede is eating too. Although he'll be pleased to finish, as nice as Ganymede's cooking is. ]

...No, mine is much larger. [ Sorry Ganymede. ] Yours has many islands, though. It's a very historic country.

[ Cute...Ganymede will lean forward to press a gentle kiss right on Michel's nose. That seem familiar? ]

Like this?

[ He had no idea that he really did do something like that. His notes aren't very extensive about the visit because he's not, well, meticulous (and assumed he'd remember stuff RIP.) ]

Really? I was wondering if you might have been jealous because mine was bigger.

Does yours have islands too? Did I come see your country?

[ Ah. That part hasn't changed. Michel blinks, the familiar gesture tugging at his heart in a way he hadn't expected, and he has to quickly look away while he composes his expression. ]

N-no, that kind of thing has long ceased bothering me...

[ He's so glad Ganymede's intentions are too innocent for that to be dirty humor. And that even thinking about that loosens the excessively sentimental ache in his chest. ]

There are a number, although most are small. Oléron, Belle Île... Naval Monte looks quite a bit like Mont Saint-Michel. You... didn't have a chance to visit just yet.

[ Ganymede puts aside the food, since it's probably finished now, and he tilts his head at the way he looks away. ]

What's wrong?

[ It really is. Ganymede is not the type to make such euphemisms, even if admittedly words like that are usually taken as such. ]

Mont Saint-Michel...it's the island named after you. We should go and visit there! Or maybe not, I'm kind of sick of seeing Naval Monte.

What's the most beautiful place? Where would you take me?

[ He shakes his head briefly, giving a little huff of a laugh. It's not a violation of the spirit of his promise to Ganymede... He thinks. After all, even he can't articulate what's "wrong," if anything. ]

Paris is very beautiful, but...

[ The thought of going back makes his skin prickle, even though in a city of two million people, there would be no chance of seeing his family. ]

...you prefer the outdoors, don't you? Lac D’Annecy... or Burgundy, possibly. I haven't traveled much [ at all, ] either. The Black Forest is supposed to be very beautiful as well.

[ Ganymede is staring at him, with that kind of response. What is that supposed to even mean...? ]

...What's that supposed to mean?

[ He pokes at it anyway, not able to understand. It isn't like his memory of kissing noses has been erased either, though he has no idea to interpret that either. Though, at the rest, he tilts his head a bit. ]

I do. Is the Black Forest an actual forest? Or a place named that?

[ He shifts back to lie against Michel's chest, but also tilt his head up at him. ]

And when we return, do you have an idea of the first thing you want to do?

Edited 2023-11-14 00:04 (UTC)

It means, "nothing's wrong."

[ Close enough. Approximately enough. It feels more untrue to say it — many things are wrong — but it's also more true than the opposite... he thinks.

He's going to give himself a headache untangling it. So he just kisses Ganymede's forehead instead. ]

It is. Though, it's an entire region as well. Germany, but near where I live...

[ They talked about that in Fragment. He wonders if Ganymede can still recall that as well. The next question draws a perfect blank on him, so he turns it back on Ganymede, wrapping his arms around him. ]

What about you?

...Nothing, in this instance. If something about this changes, tell me.

[ Ganymede blinks as he receives the kiss on his head, deciding to say that instead. He's not saying he distrusts him, but he doesn't want a repeat of before.

As for his recollection on that conversation, it is probably somewhere in his memories, but he also never wrote it down, so the exact logistics don't exactly reappear so quickly. He just ends up nodding. Wasn't there a place he mentioned before called Beta-beta? Or something...

As for the other matter, since Michel has given no answer (and he needs to stop fantasizing about weddings), this actually makes it easier for Ganymede, who closes his eyes, letting him sink into the embrace. ]

Introducing you to my family.

Edited 2023-11-14 01:57 (UTC)

I did say I would...

[ Not that he can fault Ganymede for feeling cautious now. Truthfully... Michel's trust is bruised in so many directions as well. He squeezes Ganymede very slightly in reassurance. ]

If, at times... I need a little time to think through my own feelings, that doesn't mean I'm keeping them from you.

[ Gently, but firmly, to establish that. He understands Ganymede's terms, and he doesn't think he's wrong. But some of this is a knot that won't be untied in an hour, or days. Or weeks.

Anyway, the change of subject seizes his undivided attention. ]

...Your family? Already?! But...

[ There's absolutely no way Ganymede's remaining brother or his parents would look warmly on how badly Michel has managed to take care of him so far... ]

[ As long as Michel doesn't feel at a loss, like he can't be honest again about when he's falling somewhere so deep that the chasm that's opened up can't be breached by anyone else...

Ganymede can accept that answer, giving a small nod, and he wants to kiss him again, so he shifts to plant one against his cheek so he can settle back down again. ]

...We almost died a lot of times.

I can't afford to be afraid of what my family would think now. And if you are, I promise it'll be okay. They'll be happy to know that you love me.

[ They don't need to know all of the that went on the game or that Michel basically had a bad time. Including a very kinky mid-episode. ]

[ He'd wanted to remember these things. And it's hard, remembering these things. The nervous, giddy energy in him when he'd returned from Greece. The budding sense of determination — the feeling that after all these years, he was finally ready to shake off the dust, to tentatively try living. He can remember the sensation; but he can't grasp it anymore.

He's quiet for a bit, although he does turn his head to press another kiss to Ganymede's temple. ]

...If I need to make any more excuses to your family, I really won't be brave enough. S-so please, make my job a little easier...

[ No more life or death peril? If avoidable? The kink episodes will remain their own little secret, thanks. ]

[ Ganymede is frowning a little, noticing the quiet in Michel. He doesn't know what is going on in his head of his, but he understands it's something. And he refuses to ignore it. Even with what he said before, little signs like this...

Maybe it's because of his words, the many times they nearly died. Or his own inner struggles. He asked for him to be honest about them. But the kiss against his head distracts him. Only a little, though. ]

...I'll make sure I'll make it to the end with you so we can see the light of that other world again.

You can be certain about that.

[ There is no such thing as avoidable peril, so Ganymede can't grant him that, and he won't bother saying something like that. Which...might not be a comfort. But, he has every intention of making good on what he said, more than anything.

He is getting out of here alive with him, no matter what. ]

[ He knows his little silences are worrying. Ganymede is trying, and he's trying... He nuzzles a tiny bit at Ganymede's hair, trying to grasp the feelings enough to put them into words. ]

...It's difficult for me to picture right now. [ Or to believe in certainties that are beyond their control. Many things, Ganymede can't do anything about. Others, he knows he won't change. ] But I intend to keep working towards that. With you.

[ He wants Ganymede to reach that world again. Sinclair, Oria, Justy, Hani. Yuui and Yael and Miharu and Noir. So, he'll keep trying. ]

[ They are both trying their best, aren't they? Ganymede is still freshly scared about what has just happened and ... he feels the light nuzzle against his hair, then the words that follow.

Which allow him some insight into his mind. ]

I'll make it easier for you to picture too.

[ He murmurs, sounding confident about that. When Michel states he wants to work towards it, then they should do better and better to hone in that confidence.

Otherwise, Ganymede knows, and understands now...that uncertainty can be used against him. Or any single one of them. And he personally wants Michel to be more confident too. As much as he can be, for his own sake. ]

With me by your side, you'll be as confident and certain as a god.

[ ...

Okay, maybe not that much. But, shh. ]

[ That comparison... he lets out a tiny chuckle and shifts Ganymede in his arms. Maybe, with food accomplished, more sleep wouldn't hurt... And he can reach out to someone who might have more ideas about what they can do for Ganymede's injury. ]

I'm fairly certain you're the one as confident as a god.

[ But he won't tell Ganymede otherwise. Even the thought of the taste of harsh words twists his stomach now. He wonders how long it will be before he can hear his own acerbic commentary in anything but Gorre's voice. ]

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