milky's bullshit containment zone

[weaseled]

Who ⚔ Yael & assorted nerds
What ⚔ A dungeon run and other things
When ⚔ After the party
Where ⚔ Errywhere
Content Warnings ⚔ Men with their tits out? Alcohol??? No correlation there surprisingly. nsfw i'm sorry mom

Comments

[secondthoughts]

Really? [ With a raised brow, Hector looks Fai up and down, very obviously ogling him. Yael bothered? Suck my dick. ] Can't say there's much I'd change about you, personally.

[ Also he's not picky (and just likes the beanpoles............. sigh)

He very arduously leans over to grab the next card off the table, reads it to himself, then barks out a short laugh. ]

"Would you rather be good looking but stupid, or ugly but intelligent?"

[ He looks at Fai again. Well? ]

[fluorite]

[ Fai doesn't seem to mind being ogled, at least. Or maybe he's just used to it? It's hard to tell, as his expression doesn't really change. ]

Good-looking but stupid. I don't think that's surprising.

[ His life would be way easier if he was dumb, honestly. ]

[weaseled]

[Hey, Hector. If you like his beanpole so much, why don't you say so? Don't be a coward.

Fai's answer is to be expected, and in lieu of a free hand to muss up his hair with, Yael sets his glass on his head. Kicking a foot up onto the table, Yael hums.]

Good-looking but stupid. Big brains aren't all they're cracked up to be, not that you'd know.

[Looking at you, Hector.]

[secondthoughts]

[ Hector laughs, flicks his card back onto the table. ]

That makes three good-looking idiots.

[ He looks right back at Yael with a big grin. ]

I guess not. But at least my grades were good enough to get me into NYU.

[ Not that you'd know!

He gestures to Fai. Your turn! ]

[fluorite]

Not a bad school at all.

[ He flashes Hector a smile as he leans forward to grab a card. Fai reads over the question first before finally reading it aloud. ]

"If you could go back and relive one day in your life without changing anything about it, which day would you revisit?"

[ Good luck to you both, he doesn't want to touch this one with a ten foot pole. ]

[weaseled]

Why would I want to do that?

[Genuine question! Yael sighs, nursing another sip from his glass.]

The past stays in the past. If I can't change it, I don't need to live through it again.

[secondthoughts]

Really? You got nothing?

[ Hector quirks a brow as he takes a sip from his wine, eyes trained on Yael. ]

I'd lose my virginity again. That was fun.

[ Ah, to be young again... ]

[fluorite]

[ Fai tilts his head as he settles back against Yael, crossing his legs. ]

Was it with someone special?

[ He could take or leave his first time, honestly, since it was pretty mediocre. ]

Ah... as for me, there isn't anything I'd really like to relive.

[ It's hard to pick out a single day he would like to do that with that wouldn't leave him feeling emotionally drained afterwards. ]

[weaseled]

Who'd be dumb enough to fuck a guy like you?

[and the studio audience goes wild]

This guy gets it. There are some things you can't relive no matter how much you want to but way more things you'd never want to go through again. Anyway...

[Yael leans forward and grabs another card.]

"What's one thing you wish you had growing up?"

[secondthoughts]

[ What the fuck!!!

Hector flips Yael the bird, blocking the man's despicable face from view, while he turns to look at Fai. ]

It was with the girl I was crushing on at the time. [ He grins, because he likes the punchline. ] And her boyfriend.

[ The sad boys tm can be emo about the question, but at least Hector had a good time.

Anyway!

Hector returns to his relatively normal self when the next question comes around, he does give it an earnest think. ]

You know what? A family car. Never really went on family trips growing up because of it.

[fluorite]

[ He smacks Yael in the stomach. Don't be rude!! ]

Ah... much better than my first.

[ But hey, good on him. He respects the hustle.

With a hum, Fai considers his own answer. For once, he doesn't want this one to be sad, so he tries to think of something a little bit more lighthearted. ]

I never had a television in my own room. I was always so jealous of the kids who did.

[weaseled]

[Yael isn't going to banish himself to the doghouse by talking about his first time in front of these two. Fuck that. Idly, he wonders if Hector has any idea, any idea how petty a man like Fai can be. Not for any particular reason, of course! The thought just happened to occur to him...

He regards that middle finger with a smirk, one that broadens when he's chastised by way of a smack to the tum. So many creature comforts were absent from his childhood, but they're trying to keep the tone light here, aren't they? Yael hums, thinking.]

A cat tree.

[secondthoughts]

[ Both of these are cute. Hector likes them. He looks between the two of them. A TV and a cat tree... Simple things, childhood dreams.

With Yael's answer, he leans forward to snatch the next card on top of the pile as he takes a generous sip of his wine.

And when he reads it, he almost spits out his drink. ]

S-sorry— [ He chokes, partially in laughter.

He adjusts in his seat, turning mostly to face Yael. ]

"How do you treat people who annoy you for no reason?"

[fluorite]

Let me answer for him.

[ Fai clears his throat, affecting his best Yael Voice by digging as deep into his register as he can. Naturally, it sounds ridiculous. ]

I give them shit, you jackasses. What else am I supposed to do when everyone annoys me?

[weaseled]

[Excusez-moi? What the hell was that? Yael turns to blink at Fai. Stare. Pout.]

I sound nothing like that. You're delusional. Do you need psychological help?

[Every man in this room does, but that's besides the point. He's still pouting when he turns his attention onto Hector.]

I ignore them. People like that aren't worth my time.

[Whew. Pointed.]

[secondthoughts]

[ Okay no, but wait! Fai's impression was really good!

Hector bursts out laughing when Fai drops his voice, and despite the ridiculousness of it all, Hector absolutely appreciates the humor of it.

But Yael gives his real answer, and Hector still finds it funny. He turns to look at Yael and his expression brightens all over again. ]

Wait— [ He points, wine sloshing in the glass in his hand as he does. ] —are you pouting?

[ :haha: ]

[fluorite]

Oh, he's pouting.

[ Fai reaches out to lightly pinch Yael's cheek. ]

I think you're the delusional one. Want me to record your voice and play it back for you so you can hear how accurate my impression was?

[weaseled]

[Yael's hand whips up to swat Fai's hand away so fucking fast. Don't patronize him, manchild. And as for Hector? Yael's in the process of working off his boot so he can launch it right at his face.]

Want me to do an impression of you? Hell, I'll do an impression of both of you if you insist.

[Bitches.]

[secondthoughts]

[ What the fuck dude!! Hector's eyes go wide at the incoming shoe before he ducks, but not without spilling some of his wine in the process. He stares in dismay at the mess, at Yael, before scoffing. ]

What the hell!

[ Bruh

He grabs a pillow from the couch and throws it at Yael in return. Dodge that!!!! ]

I'd like to see you try. [ He grins, putting his wine glass down on the table and flicking the red liquid off his hand. ] I doubt it'll be better than Fai's.

[fluorite]

Yeah, do it if you're so confident.

[ Fai shoots Hector a grin before looking back at Yael and poking him incessantly in the side. ]

There's no way you of all people can do a good impression. You better make sure it's funny.

[weaseled]

[Listen up, bitches: he knows he's bad at impressions, and you know what else? You're in his domain. Welcome to the roast of Fai McFaierson and Hector the Defector.

Hector's up first. Yael stands, plants his hands on his hips, and spreads his legs out comically wide.]

What's up? I'm Hector. I can't stand minding my own business, so I poke my nose where it doesn't belong and get pissy when anyone tries to return the favor. I suck.

[Good?]

[secondthoughts]

[ Hector grins back at Fai, and—

Oh my god.

He isn't sure if he should be furious, or find it hilarious. Either way, a bright flush settles on his cheeks as he bursts out in laughter. He grabs his wine bottle from between his legs and points at Yael with it. ]

You do suck! That was awful!

[ Even if it's all true.

He plucks the cork off and throws it at Yael. ]

I don't sound anything like that. [ At least do the voice! smh ]

[fluorite]

[ You know what? At least Hector is laughing. With a lingering look at the flush settling on Hector’s cheeks, Fai turns his attention back to Yael.

Fai nudges Yael’s butt with his foot, pushing him slightly. ]

Boo! That was terrible! I said to make it funny!

[weaseled]

[Heh. Nailed it. Fai's literally kicking his ass, but Yael promised to do them both, so! Straightening up, he presses both legs together at the knees and crosses his arms... only after flipping his hair, something Fai notably does not do.]

My name is Fai~ I know I look cute, but I'm secretly petty and hold grudges. I like big, strong men and love sticking my fingers in weird places. Hyuu~

[Go ahead. Praise him. He knows his performance was immaculate and the haters won't convince him otherwise.]

[secondthoughts]

[ Oh my god.

Hector almost spits out the wine he's drinking at the pose, and he bursts out with more laughter at what Yael says.

He turns to Fai. ]

Where are you sticking your fingers?

[ Because that's the takeaway here— ]