Who ⚔ Yael & assorted nerds What ⚔ A dungeon run and other things When ⚔ After the party Where ⚔ Errywhere Content Warnings ⚔ Men with their tits out? Alcohol??? No correlation there surprisingly. nsfw i'm sorry mom
This guy gets it. There are some things you can't relive no matter how much you want to but way more things you'd never want to go through again. Anyway...
[ He smacks Yael in the stomach. Don't be rude!! ]
Ah... much better than my first.
[ But hey, good on him. He respects the hustle.
With a hum, Fai considers his own answer. For once, he doesn't want this one to be sad, so he tries to think of something a little bit more lighthearted. ]
I never had a television in my own room. I was always so jealous of the kids who did.
[Yael isn't going to banish himself to the doghouse by talking about his first time in front of these two. Fuck that. Idly, he wonders if Hector has any idea, any idea how petty a man like Fai can be. Not for any particular reason, of course! The thought just happened to occur to him...
He regards that middle finger with a smirk, one that broadens when he's chastised by way of a smack to the tum. So many creature comforts were absent from his childhood, but they're trying to keep the tone light here, aren't they? Yael hums, thinking.]
[Yael's hand whips up to swat Fai's hand away so fucking fast. Don't patronize him, manchild. And as for Hector? Yael's in the process of working off his boot so he can launch it right at his face.]
Want me to do an impression of you? Hell, I'll do an impression of both of you if you insist.
[ What the fuck dude!! Hector's eyes go wide at the incoming shoe before he ducks, but not without spilling some of his wine in the process. He stares in dismay at the mess, at Yael, before scoffing. ]
What the hell!
[ Bruh
He grabs a pillow from the couch and throws it at Yael in return. Dodge that!!!! ]
I'd like to see you try. [ He grins, putting his wine glass down on the table and flicking the red liquid off his hand. ] I doubt it'll be better than Fai's.
[Listen up, bitches: he knows he's bad at impressions, and you know what else? You're in his domain. Welcome to the roast of Fai McFaierson and Hector the Defector.
Hector's up first. Yael stands, plants his hands on his hips, and spreads his legs out comically wide.]
What's up? I'm Hector. I can't stand minding my own business, so I poke my nose where it doesn't belong and get pissy when anyone tries to return the favor. I suck.
He isn't sure if he should be furious, or find it hilarious. Either way, a bright flush settles on his cheeks as he bursts out in laughter. He grabs his wine bottle from between his legs and points at Yael with it. ]
You do suck! That was awful!
[ Even if it's all true.
He plucks the cork off and throws it at Yael. ]
I don't sound anything like that. [ At least do the voice! smh ]
[Heh. Nailed it. Fai's literally kicking his ass, but Yael promised to do them both, so! Straightening up, he presses both legs together at the knees and crosses his arms... only after flipping his hair, something Fai notably does not do.]
My name is Fai~ I know I look cute, but I'm secretly petty and hold grudges. I like big, strong men and love sticking my fingers in weird places. Hyuu~
[Go ahead. Praise him. He knows his performance was immaculate and the haters won't convince him otherwise.]
[ Ugh. The worst thing about that impression (aside from how he's completely wrong with both the pose and the hair flip) is how accurate it is. With a little shrug, he regards Hector. ]
I fingered him when we first met in real life, and yet he still acts like it's weird.
[ Look. He was asked directly and so he's going to be completely candid.
He turns to Yael with a grin on his lips and a challenge in his eyes. ]
Is this your way of suggesting that I do it again after our date tomorrow?
Now it's Yael who turns tomato ass red. Never in a million years would he have expected Fai to sell him out like that, and yet here they are. Now Hector knows this uppity twink has had those long bony fingers all up in his bussy. Embarrassing.]
Oh, right. I'm gonna be sick tomorrow. Date's cancelled.
Hector flinches, just ever so slightly at the revelation, but whatever could've caused that is quickly drowned by the way he bursts out in loud, genuine laughter. Holy shit, dude. ]
You— [ Wait, hold on. Hector takes a couple of deep, shaky breaths in an attempt to calm himself between laughing fits but. This is too much. ] You couldn't handle getting fingered?!
[ He wipes a tear from his eye and brings the wine to his lips. ]
[ Don't think he doesn't catch that little flinch Hector. Fai notices it and files it away for later, perhaps something to discuss should they ever be forced to speak the truth.
But for now? He lets it go by unacknowledged as he sets a comforting hand on Yael's lower back. His poor, extremely red face... He'll have to make that up to Yael later. Date uncancelled. ]
Cut him some slack. You know it's jarring the first time you do it.
[No, Fai, let the man cook. Let him dig his own goddamn grave, because it isn't often that Yael's temper is quick to ignite, but Hector's earned the repercussions of setting his fuse alight.
This would be the second time Hector's set him off. What's the deal with that? One or both of them are clearly defective. Huffing a haughty laugh, Yael sits up.]
You heard him. Cut me some slack, you goddamn coward.
[And with that, Yael casually refills his glass, drops in another ice cube, and throws the whole concoction into Hector's face. Considerate soul that he is, Yael did not throw the glass along with it.]
[ It was so long ago for Hector that he barely remembers at this point.
But never the one to learn his lessons, he isn't expecting Yael to toss his drink (glass excluded) over him. He sees it coming, but doesn't react fast enough to get out of the way—it sloshes over him, all of his armor, soaking him.
His head snaps up to look at Yael, grin—cheeky or otherwise—immediately dissolving. Anger flashes in his eyes as he stands, too, dripping unceremoniously all over Fine Wine's carefully curated lounge. ]
What the fuck, Yael?!
[ He sloshes his wine bottle, some of the drink spilling from it, to return the favor, but not a lot makes it out. Embarrassing. ]
He thinks he understands now how things got heated before. It seems like that first dungeon run was only a preview for the way they’re still at each other’s throats. With a frown, Fai puts his hand on top of that empty wine glass to discourage Yael from eventually throwing it. ]
What the hell is going on between you two? Sort it out. Now.
[ The airy, lilting affectation he usually puts on is gone, the look on his face entirely serious as he glares between them both. This is partly his fault for instigating it in the first place, but this escalation? That’s something else entirely, and he’s not about to have his guild @ home interior fucked up again. ]
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Was it with someone special?
[ He could take or leave his first time, honestly, since it was pretty mediocre. ]
Ah... as for me, there isn't anything I'd really like to relive.
[ It's hard to pick out a single day he would like to do that with that wouldn't leave him feeling emotionally drained afterwards. ]
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[and the studio audience goes wild]
This guy gets it. There are some things you can't relive no matter how much you want to but way more things you'd never want to go through again. Anyway...
[Yael leans forward and grabs another card.]
"What's one thing you wish you had growing up?"
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Hector flips Yael the bird, blocking the man's despicable face from view, while he turns to look at Fai. ]
It was with the girl I was crushing on at the time. [ He grins, because he likes the punchline. ] And her boyfriend.
[ The sad boys tm can be emo about the question, but at least Hector had a good time.
Anyway!
Hector returns to his relatively normal self when the next question comes around, he does give it an earnest think. ]
You know what? A family car. Never really went on family trips growing up because of it.
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Ah... much better than my first.
[ But hey, good on him. He respects the hustle.
With a hum, Fai considers his own answer. For once, he doesn't want this one to be sad, so he tries to think of something a little bit more lighthearted. ]
I never had a television in my own room. I was always so jealous of the kids who did.
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He regards that middle finger with a smirk, one that broadens when he's chastised by way of a smack to the tum. So many creature comforts were absent from his childhood, but they're trying to keep the tone light here, aren't they? Yael hums, thinking.]
A cat tree.
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With Yael's answer, he leans forward to snatch the next card on top of the pile as he takes a generous sip of his wine.
And when he reads it, he almost spits out his drink. ]
S-sorry— [ He chokes, partially in laughter.
He adjusts in his seat, turning mostly to face Yael. ]
"How do you treat people who annoy you for no reason?"
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[ Fai clears his throat, affecting his best Yael Voice by digging as deep into his register as he can. Naturally, it sounds ridiculous. ]
I give them shit, you jackasses. What else am I supposed to do when everyone annoys me?
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I sound nothing like that. You're delusional. Do you need psychological help?
[Every man in this room does, but that's besides the point. He's still pouting when he turns his attention onto Hector.]
I ignore them. People like that aren't worth my time.
[Whew. Pointed.]
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Hector bursts out laughing when Fai drops his voice, and despite the ridiculousness of it all, Hector absolutely appreciates the humor of it.
But Yael gives his real answer, and Hector still finds it funny. He turns to look at Yael and his expression brightens all over again. ]
Wait— [ He points, wine sloshing in the glass in his hand as he does. ] —are you pouting?
[ :haha: ]
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[ Fai reaches out to lightly pinch Yael's cheek. ]
I think you're the delusional one. Want me to record your voice and play it back for you so you can hear how accurate my impression was?
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Want me to do an impression of you? Hell, I'll do an impression of both of you if you insist.
[Bitches.]
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What the hell!
[ Bruh
He grabs a pillow from the couch and throws it at Yael in return. Dodge that!!!! ]
I'd like to see you try. [ He grins, putting his wine glass down on the table and flicking the red liquid off his hand. ] I doubt it'll be better than Fai's.
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[ Fai shoots Hector a grin before looking back at Yael and poking him incessantly in the side. ]
There's no way you of all people can do a good impression. You better make sure it's funny.
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Hector's up first. Yael stands, plants his hands on his hips, and spreads his legs out comically wide.]
What's up? I'm Hector. I can't stand minding my own business, so I poke my nose where it doesn't belong and get pissy when anyone tries to return the favor. I suck.
[Good?]
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Oh my god.
He isn't sure if he should be furious, or find it hilarious. Either way, a bright flush settles on his cheeks as he bursts out in laughter. He grabs his wine bottle from between his legs and points at Yael with it. ]
You do suck! That was awful!
[ Even if it's all true.
He plucks the cork off and throws it at Yael. ]
I don't sound anything like that. [ At least do the voice! smh ]
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Fai nudges Yael’s butt with his foot, pushing him slightly. ]
Boo! That was terrible! I said to make it funny!
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My name is Fai~ I know I look cute, but I'm secretly petty and hold grudges. I like big, strong men and love sticking my fingers in weird places. Hyuu~
[Go ahead. Praise him. He knows his performance was immaculate and the haters won't convince him otherwise.]
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Hector almost spits out the wine he's drinking at the pose, and he bursts out with more laughter at what Yael says.
He turns to Fai. ]
Where are you sticking your fingers?
[ Because that's the takeaway here— ]
nsfw I'M SORRY I'M SORRY
I fingered him when we first met in real life, and yet he still acts like it's weird.
[ Look. He was asked directly and so he's going to be completely candid.
He turns to Yael with a grin on his lips and a challenge in his eyes. ]
Is this your way of suggesting that I do it again after our date tomorrow?
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Now it's Yael who turns tomato ass red. Never in a million years would he have expected Fai to sell him out like that, and yet here they are. Now Hector knows this uppity twink has had those long bony fingers all up in his bussy. Embarrassing.]
Oh, right. I'm gonna be sick tomorrow. Date's cancelled.
[HE THOUGHT HE COULD TRUST YOU, FAI]
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Hector flinches, just ever so slightly at the revelation, but whatever could've caused that is quickly drowned by the way he bursts out in loud, genuine laughter. Holy shit, dude. ]
You— [ Wait, hold on. Hector takes a couple of deep, shaky breaths in an attempt to calm himself between laughing fits but. This is too much. ] You couldn't handle getting fingered?!
[ He wipes a tear from his eye and brings the wine to his lips. ]
Pussy.
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But for now? He lets it go by unacknowledged as he sets a comforting hand on Yael's lower back. His poor, extremely red face... He'll have to make that up to Yael later. Date uncancelled. ]
Cut him some slack. You know it's jarring the first time you do it.
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This would be the second time Hector's set him off. What's the deal with that? One or both of them are clearly defective. Huffing a haughty laugh, Yael sits up.]
You heard him. Cut me some slack, you goddamn coward.
[And with that, Yael casually refills his glass, drops in another ice cube, and throws the whole concoction into Hector's face. Considerate soul that he is, Yael did not throw the glass along with it.]
Fuck off.
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But never the one to learn his lessons, he isn't expecting Yael to toss his drink (glass excluded) over him. He sees it coming, but doesn't react fast enough to get out of the way—it sloshes over him, all of his armor, soaking him.
His head snaps up to look at Yael, grin—cheeky or otherwise—immediately dissolving. Anger flashes in his eyes as he stands, too, dripping unceremoniously all over Fine Wine's carefully curated lounge. ]
What the fuck, Yael?!
[ He sloshes his wine bottle, some of the drink spilling from it, to return the favor, but not a lot makes it out. Embarrassing. ]
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He thinks he understands now how things got heated before. It seems like that first dungeon run was only a preview for the way they’re still at each other’s throats. With a frown, Fai puts his hand on top of that empty wine glass to discourage Yael from eventually throwing it. ]
What the hell is going on between you two? Sort it out. Now.
[ The airy, lilting affectation he usually puts on is gone, the look on his face entirely serious as he glares between them both. This is partly his fault for instigating it in the first place, but this escalation? That’s something else entirely, and he’s not about to have his guild @ home interior fucked up again. ]
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cw minor homophobia mention im sorry
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