[ When Joonghyuk finds Brambles crying in his own room at the guild, he closes the distance between them right away and wraps his arms around his shoulders from behind, crossing them on Brambles' chest while pulling him closer.
It feels foolish to ask what's wrong when so many things are wrong. Still, he won't allow Brambles to carry the burden alone, no matter what it is. ]
Tell me what's going on or I won't let you move anywhere.
[ Well, to be fair the moment he's heard the soft sobbing sound he decided to stay the night here, so he's not leaving Brambles to his own devices either way. ]
[ He doesn't know how to explain why he's crying. Brambles felt his memories slip away, one after the other - giving him a sense of loss that he cannot place. It's like grief, but ... over what? He's not aware that the memories of his father and his best friend have been taken from him. His life is now one empty gap, an empty space. They're trapped in this game now, but does it even matter? There's no one in the real world for him to go back to. ]
...
[ Brambles sniffs and wipes his eyes, sitting in silence for a moment before speaking with a cracked voice. ]
Why does it matter that I'm stuck here? There's ... no one waiting for me in real life.
[ While Joonghyuk couldn't shake off the feeling that he forgot about something—someone—important for quite a while, he shoves that concern aside for now because Brambles has just said something very nonsensical. ]
That's not true, though. [ He sits next to him and cups Brambles' cheek with his hand. ] Your dad and Brush must be worried.
[ It's strange, why would Brambles say such a thing? How could he forget about his beloved parent and cherished friend? ]
[ He almost looks annoyed when he hears this. Joonghyuk should know that Brambles has no family - at least, that's what he believes now. And who on earth is "Brush"? ]
My dad?
[ His surprise is delivered with conviction. To him, this isn't a joke. ]
[ It's not that he doesn't believe his boyfriend. But ... none of this makes sense. "I remember that clearly"? Brambles has every reason to believe Joonghyuk, but there's an empty space in his head that can't make sense of what he is saying. His brow knits in frustration and he sighs hard, closing his eyes for a moment in concentration. If he weren't a critical thinker, perhaps he would lash out - maybe even accuse Joonghyuk of wanting to hurt him. Or maybe Joonghyuk is the one who is delusional. But that's not right. That's not ... ]
Joonghyuk, [ he starts, then opens his eyes. ]
What if ... what if joining this game has taken some of our memories? That time in the mirror house. I've heard voices. I've heard intimate details about my life played back to me ...
[ Joonghyuk takes a deep breath before recalling the events at the mirror house. He went in there with Hector and saw the other man's past. Combined with what Brambles has just said—up until now he wasn't sure whether he saw some kind of an elaborate illusion or something else. Now, however, Joonghyuk realizes that it must have been real. ]
I saw something similar, I think. Someone's memories... [ It's probably better to keep Hector's name out of this considering the nature of the memory. ] Who's that Mia you mentioned, anyway?
We haven't known each other for that long, but... let's write down everything we remember. We have to preserve as many memories as possible until we're stuck here.
[ He starts writing on one side of the journal, describing Brambles' father's appearance to the best of his ability as well as his character traits. Gentle, loving with a glint of sadness in his eyes. Joonghyuk doesn't omit Brambles' mother, even though all he knows is that she passed away during childbirth. ]
[ In turn, he writes about Mia. In fact - he writes about Joonghyuk's entire trip to England. How they went to Weatherspoons and ate baked potatoes, how he showed Mia and Joonghyuk how he creates flower preparations in the workshop, their many nights in Daisy Trails. But the biggest description is of Mia because Brambles really does cherish that little girl and he finds it heartbreaking that Joonghyuk can't remember her. This must be how it feels regarding his own lost memories of his father. ]
[ His eyes scan the passages of handwritten notes. Every next word fills him with uneasiness and guilt—how could he forget? Even the trip to England is something he remembered differently. No one accompanied him during the flight, in the hotel, or during his visits to the bookshop. ]
This is...
[ His fingers are curled in fists as he bites his bottom lip. ]
[ He's not sure if that's the word Punisher intended to use here, but it's the first that pops into his mind. ]
Why would this happen to us? For what purpose? There's something so disturbing and so criminal about it ...
[ Brambles grips his partner's hand. ]
But we can hold ourselves accountable. As long as we have each other ... neither of us will forget who we really are ... and no matter what happens, I promise you won't ever lose me.
[ Losing himself happened without noticing has already happened but he remained blissfully unaware. Losing Brambles, however... no, that's out of the question. ]
I will remind you of who you are every single day, I promise.
[ Joonghyuk follows his words with a kiss on Brambles' lips. ]
[ His voice is stern and his tone is firm. That confession surely made Joonghyuk's heart skip a beat, but it also made it sting. ]
I won't let you love myself more than what you are or whatever you've ever been or will be. [ A pause. ] You have to leave some of this love for yourself.
[ Joonghyuk presses a light kiss against his cheek after hearing that bold declaration and smirks this time. ]
In a mood for marriage now? [ He chuckles. ] Let me propose to you once we're back.
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›› closed to brambles // memloss
It feels foolish to ask what's wrong when so many things are wrong. Still, he won't allow Brambles to carry the burden alone, no matter what it is. ]
Tell me what's going on or I won't let you move anywhere.
[ Well, to be fair the moment he's heard the soft sobbing sound he decided to stay the night here, so he's not leaving Brambles to his own devices either way. ]
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...
[ Brambles sniffs and wipes his eyes, sitting in silence for a moment before speaking with a cracked voice. ]
Why does it matter that I'm stuck here? There's ... no one waiting for me in real life.
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That's not true, though. [ He sits next to him and cups Brambles' cheek with his hand. ] Your dad and Brush must be worried.
[ It's strange, why would Brambles say such a thing? How could he forget about his beloved parent and cherished friend? ]
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My dad?
[ His surprise is delivered with conviction. To him, this isn't a joke. ]
I don't have a dad. I never have.
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Your dad is waiting—
[ Joonghyuk pauses for a moment, feeling as if he just said something he shouldn't have. After shaking his head, he continues. ]
He's waiting outside for you. I met him when I visited you.
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No one else was there. You, me and Mia. And the empty house I grew up in. No dad ... no family.
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[ Or rather does he look like a person who told a single joke in his life? ]
I promised your dad to make sure you'd come back before ten. I remember that clearly.
[ Brambles mentioning that Mia person... he's not sure who that would be, but Joonghyuk doesn't bring his concerns up just yet. ]
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Joonghyuk, [ he starts, then opens his eyes. ]
What if ... what if joining this game has taken some of our memories? That time in the mirror house. I've heard voices. I've heard intimate details about my life played back to me ...
[ This epiphany, if true, horrifies him. ]
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[ Joonghyuk takes a deep breath before recalling the events at the mirror house. He went in there with Hector and saw the other man's past. Combined with what Brambles has just said—up until now he wasn't sure whether he saw some kind of an elaborate illusion or something else. Now, however, Joonghyuk realizes that it must have been real. ]
I saw something similar, I think. Someone's memories... [ It's probably better to keep Hector's name out of this considering the nature of the memory. ] Who's that Mia you mentioned, anyway?
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... Mia. S-She's-- she's your little sister. You took her to England with you when you visited me.
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[ Joonghyuk says it calmly—Brambles isn't doing well, so he doesn't want to add to it by being visibly nervous. ]
Did we... really forget?
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I feel like I don't know what's real any more.
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We need to do something. We can't lose any more memories.
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Did you have something in mind...?
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[ He regrets not being more nosy now. ]
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[ It's a great one, even. And fortunately they're surrounded by books. ]
Here ... [ He grabs an empty journal and two pens. ] No time better than the present, is there?
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[ He starts writing on one side of the journal, describing Brambles' father's appearance to the best of his ability as well as his character traits. Gentle, loving with a glint of sadness in his eyes. Joonghyuk doesn't omit Brambles' mother, even though all he knows is that she passed away during childbirth. ]
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Alright, I'm done ... shall we read them?
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[ His eyes scan the passages of handwritten notes. Every next word fills him with uneasiness and guilt—how could he forget? Even the trip to England is something he remembered differently. No one accompanied him during the flight, in the hotel, or during his visits to the bookshop. ]
This is...
[ His fingers are curled in fists as he bites his bottom lip. ]
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[ He's not sure if that's the word Punisher intended to use here, but it's the first that pops into his mind. ]
Why would this happen to us? For what purpose? There's something so disturbing and so criminal about it ...
[ Brambles grips his partner's hand. ]
But we can hold ourselves accountable. As long as we have each other ... neither of us will forget who we really are ... and no matter what happens, I promise you won't ever lose me.
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[ Losing himself happened without noticing has already happened but he remained blissfully unaware. Losing Brambles, however... no, that's out of the question. ]
I will remind you of who you are every single day, I promise.
[ Joonghyuk follows his words with a kiss on Brambles' lips. ]
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I love you more than everything I am ... more than everything I've ever been, and everything I will be.
[ His grip tightens. ]
Nothing will change that. When we leave this place, I want to be with you forever. I'll commit myself to you. Joonghyuk ...
[ He takes his hands. ] I want to marry you.
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[ His voice is stern and his tone is firm. That confession surely made Joonghyuk's heart skip a beat, but it also made it sting. ]
I won't let you love myself more than what you are or whatever you've ever been or will be. [ A pause. ] You have to leave some of this love for yourself.
[ Joonghyuk presses a light kiss against his cheek after hearing that bold declaration and smirks this time. ]
In a mood for marriage now? [ He chuckles. ] Let me propose to you once we're back.
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[ He whines with an obvious playful note, bumping his head against Joonghyuk's chest with a nuzzle. ]
I just don't want to ever be apart from you.
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[ With his large arms wrapped around Brambles lithe frame. ]
You won't be, I promise.
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