altimit | catch all >> september

catch all >> september

WHO >> Fandaniel & All These Random September Threads
WHAT >> Various closed threads.
WHEN >> September
WHERE >> Around the game.
Content Warnings >> nsfw stuff, suicidal ideation, and then some... looks at smudged writing on hand... wholesome cooking threads? what?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

What? No. It’s not like Fai’s the reason you want to die, so there’s no point for him to get upset over it.

[Perhaps, maybe, Fai just has more compassion and is far more sensitive then Owen. Maybe.

Also, why does it seem like everyone he kisses in this game is suicidal… Should he be asking Hien about this, too…]

If you still intend to do it, why haven’t you?

He may think he played some role in it. We met for lunch during my trip and he brought Yael with him. You can imagine how well that went. That man hates my guts.

[ Although by this point, he's given him a reason to hate him, so, uh, yeah. ]

But I am waiting until the end of the beta, at the very least. I had not intended to tell anyone at all and yet... [ Stupid curses, stupid blessings. ] Why don't we just pretend this never happened? I can unlock the guild and go do my thinking elsewhere.

[Yael doesn't like anyone, as far as Owen can tell, though he's only ran into the man once.]

...

[He stares at Fandaniel for a long, long moment, the silence dragging on before he snorts.]

That's stupid.

[Well, alright then.]

Why set yourself an expiration date like that? You have no idea what's going to happen between now and the end of the beta, so why do you think you're still going to want to die months down the line? Or are you hoping you find a reason to want to continue living?

[ There's a soft laugh in response to Owen's snort and declaration. That's stupid. ]

Which part? All of it?

[ Though Fai thinking he's pulling this shit because he brought his boy toy to their lunch certainly is stupid, he won't deny that. He isn't particularly set on defending his own decisions, either, and so, the answer is a shrug. ]

There's a reason for it but I fail to see why I should reveal all of my secrets to you, Owen. As it is, you know far too much about me already, don't you think?

Do you think it'll reunite you with your sister?

[Since he already threw tact out the window, might as well double down.]

That's fair enough, though. I know an awful lot about you and you know very little about me. Would you feel better if you knew some of my secrets?

[A rare, exclusive, one time offer?]

Reunite us? No, I know better than to think that.

[ There's no lofty belief that he'll meet his family by going into some great white light or heaven or anything of the sort. Ah, but that's an interesting offer from Owen. How unexpected.

He quirks an eyebrow, head tilting slightly, curiously. ]

If you're feeling so giving, yes, actually, that would make me feel better.

Is that so? I see.

[He won’t press for the whys, even if there’s a morbid curiosity there.

Now, as for his secrets… At least it’s just the two of them in this guild, so no chance of anyone overhearing.]

How much do you want to know? But I suppose I can start with one of the most interesting little facts about me, in that I’ve nearly died twice. Once at my own hand, and once because a “disgusting, lying faggot” like myself didn’t deserve to live anymore.

[He tilts his head, a crooked smile on his face.]

[ If only he could feel shocked but... ]

Oh? Then perhaps I should ask for details so I avoid trying the same way you did.

[ He makes light of it. How can he not? It's a heavy subject and yet Owen simply smiles through it, that same crooked way that Fandaniel himself feels about, well, nearly everything. ]

Though the second time... That's why I keep how I am to myself when at home.

You want to die, but you’re afraid of someone else doing the dirty work for you? Or is it a matter of pride?

[Owen’s winning personality definitely didn’t have any impact on things.]

Is it worth it to make yourself miserable?

I don't know where you live, exactly, Owen, but becoming a social pariah is far more likely than finding someone willing to do the deed for you.

[ Not that he couldn't go looking for trouble and end up super dead somewhere in Tokyo. It's possible, sure, but it's no America, that's for sure. ]

Whether it's been worth it or not... well, considering my plans, one must assume not, yes?

If it's not worth it to hide yourself and you want to end things, why not just live life as you want to then? Why not be yourself if there's no worth to living?

[He puts a hand on his hip.]

If you're going to put an expiration date on yourself, at least spend the time you have left as you truly are. Any issue people have with that won't matter once you're gone.

Ah, see, that's the good news! I am already working on my resignation, so very soon, I shall be doing just that. There will no longer be any repercussions for being... me, the real me.

[ The mean ho who's going to go to town. Kabukichō won't know what hit it. ]

[He gives Fandaniel a dubious look, as if he's not sure that will actually be a good idea.

But... it's not his problem. Fandaniel is just a man he's met in an MMO. He can do whatever he wants with his life.]

Well, I hope you enjoy that while it lasts. Shame I won't be there to laugh at your missteps.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

catch all >> september

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

cw suicide & homophobia for the people snooping in this log idk

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject