catch all >> september

[trollophoroi]

WHO >> Fandaniel & All These Random September Threads
WHAT >> Various closed threads.
WHEN >> September
WHERE >> Around the game.
Content Warnings >> nsfw stuff, suicidal ideation, and then some... looks at smudged writing on hand... wholesome cooking threads? what?

Comments

[threatmewted]

[...Okay, this is weird, even for him.]

...What's that look for?

[trollophoroi]

[ That look lingers a moment longer, then he turns away again, back to staring out into that wild blue yonder past the edge of the island. ]

My dear Swallow. [ He begins there. ] I would beg that you leave before I tell you something terrible.

[ It's all he can manage. He can already feel the need to tell her, just like with the other two, the dreadful truth of his plans for once the beta test wraps up, disastrous as it has been. ]

[threatmewted]

...Something terrible? What's that supposed to mean?

cw: suicide talk

[trollophoroi]

[ This time Fandaniel laughs, ah, how can he not? He warned her! He really did. Maybe he should just... jump. Save them both but then she'd only demand to know why he did that, hm? ]

Yes, something dreadful. To you, anyway. Playing this ridiculous game will be the last thing I do with my life and I am so... so relieved...

cw: suicide talk 1/2

[threatmewted]

[Oh, so it was like that.

Cool.

Okay.]

cw: suicide talk 2/2

[threatmewted]

...What are you saying? Why would you even-?

[trollophoroi]

Hmm, well, are you asking why I would say that? Because I get the distinct feeling a rather unfortunate set of Area keywords gave me such a terrible "blessing".

[ And how he hates it. ]

I had thought to come out here to avoid anyone who would bother speaking to me and yet here you are, curious as ever!

[threatmewted]

Yeah, well- I mean.

...

Even if you didn't say it, it's not like you've been subtle.

[trollophoroi]

Have I not been? Hm, I suppose not, but most take everything I do as my usual clownery.

[ Look, he knows what he is. ]

Why would you think otherwise?

1/3

[threatmewted]

Ugh, okay, I get it, everyone here copes by laughing it off.

2/3

[threatmewted]

[Shutting her mouth suddenly because goddammit Shoka turn off your reflexive assholery for like, five minutes please.]

3/3

[threatmewted]

[There's a moment as she very obviously considers her next words more carefully. She has a lot of questions, but you can't just waltz up to someone and ask "so, why do you want to kill yourself?" so...]

What does the wind actually sound like to you?

[trollophoroi]

Hm? Nothing. They fixed that bug, remember?

[ Oh, now he's avoiding answering the question the way she means it. ]

[threatmewted]

[She is clearly working overtime to contain her frustration.]

Fine, what did it sound like?

[trollophoroi]

[ Fandaniel doesn't answer immediately. During that pause, he looks away, at the sky. Maybe he's thinking of jumping to avoid answering, but... no. How pointless that would be! ]

My younger sister. Her laugh, her voice asking me to come and play like she used to before she died.

[threatmewted]

[...Damn. Does everyone here have a dead loved one or something?

And if so, what the hell is she even doing here?

There's a pause as she digests that information. And then, tone a little softer:]

...What happened to her?

[trollophoroi]

A car accident.

[ Nothing too wild. Those... happen, unfortunately, though if Shoka is without a dead loved one and the normal one in the game, then maybe she should run, run far away. ]

It was a bad one. The only side that was not crushed was where I was sitting.

[threatmewted]

[And doesn't that paint a crystal clear picture?]

...Sorry. That all of that happened.

[trollophoroi]

Mm, so am I, and so were many, many other people! Right up until it was time to dump me off in some orphanage somewhere, so... please, save your pity.

I grew tired of that very early on.

[threatmewted]

[Honestly? Fair.]

...Hey. You're a scientist, right? Why'd you end up going into that of all things?

[trollophoroi]

That?

[ Oh. Well, yes, it's not like he's made a secret of telling everyone he's a scientist of one sort or another, so. ]

Initially for foolish reasons. I thought if I excelled and became a genius scientist, I would be able to clone my family and bring them back. Of course, I was still a child when I had that mindset, but even after realizing it was impossible, I stayed the course.

'tis an interesting field, provided you can get into it.

[threatmewted]

[Of course it was for a depressing-ass reason like that. She doesn't know what she expected.]

Plus you get to travel and stuff, right? It doesn't sound like a bad gig at least.

[trollophoroi]

Ah, you mean for conferences and meetings? Hmm, those get old... quickly. You will find that most thoroughly enjoy discussing and humoring my original goals but, in the end, I am nothing more than a glorified paper pusher at a desk.

[ So what's the point? He isn't doing anything useful. He isn't helping anyone. It was all for nothing. ]

[threatmewted]

All that and you never even found other researchers worth your time, huh.

[trollophoroi]

You must understand that certain types of research carry danger with it. Take CC Corp and this game, for example. They get away with such dangerous technology because they have the money to. They can stagger legislation, bribe the people who sign off on safety standards, defend themselves with an army of lawyers, the list could go on.

[ He waves around them, meaning here, the game, this place. ]

I have no such backer to push to human trials, even if what I want to do carries far fewer risks than all these connections directly into our brains and nervous systems.