altimit | catch all >> september

[ Fai is indeed in Fine Wine, and he looks surprised to see Fandaniel there, though no other look passes across his face.

He does, however, point at his shoes and laugh. ]

Wow, they give shoes like this out?

From a dungeon, yes!

[ Fandaniel replies with a laugh of his own. He'll do a little walk, sashaying about in the flippery flip flops, one fist on a hip, the other hand up in the air doing a little princess wave, showing them off in the funniest way possible. ]

I thought I might give them to you, actually... [ And that's where that sentence should have ended. Right there, right then, and he finds himself carrying on with, ] Since I won't have any need for them once the beta test is done.

[ Oh. He freezes then, rather abrupt in the motion, and then he frowns, brow furrowing. He looks... surprised? By something. ]

[ conveniently puts this before he goes to see yael irl for maximum pain

Fai raises his own brows, caught off guard both by the statement and by the way Fandaniel furrows his brows.

Did he not mean to say that...? ]

What do you mean? Are you quitting the game when you fulfill your contract?

Oh, no, not quite that.

[ Stop, stop, stop, shut up, shut up. Fandaniel seems to struggle with the words, almost as if trying to stop them, but he says them anyway. He can't do anything about it. Really, knowing Yael, Fai was going to inevitably find out, but... ]

I've decided to end things once it wraps up. It gives me enough time to settle my affairs.

What...?

[ It takes Fai a few moments to process what exactly that means, but it doesn't take long.

End things. Settle affairs. He wants to make sure there are no loose ends after he passes, doesn't he? His heart beats fast as he stays seated, still as stone. ]

But...

[ Why? That question doesn't leave his lips, because he knows why, he knows the feelings that accompany those plans all too well.

So, what is there for him to say? Nothing, apparently. ]

[ What else is there even to say? Fandaniel watches Fai uncertainly, trying to gauge how he feels after having told him. He had laughed at Yael when telling him, but that had been pure maliciousness.

Here, it just feels... like a relief? Maybe?

He isn't sure. So that just leaves them staring at one another, silent. ]

...

[ He doesn't know what to do, doesn't know what to say. His hands tremble ever so slightly, because he knows that Fandaniel is serious about this, and for some reason or another, he ended up admitting to it.

And so, Fai will let an admittance of his own slip. May as well, now that they're being fully honest. ]

I don't want you to.

You should, though.

[ Fandaniel hadn't meant to say it but he can't take it back, so he may as well go through with it. ]

I told Yael the same thing, earlier. That with all the deaths I have experienced in this game, I'm no longer afraid of leaving. Do you know I haven't turned my pain sensors off once? It was all for that. To find out.

[ There's a pause, brief, before he adds to clarify why Yael knowing matters. ]

He did not take it very well.

[ Ah. It's like something clicks in Fai's brain with the way that his eyes widen ever so slightly. That's why Yael hasn't been around. He's sensitive, so hearing something like this would naturally mess with him, especially knowing that he's played a part in it.

Fai will have to go seek him out right after this conversation, but he knows he needs to engage in this first. He needs to see this through, even if his stomach turns. ]

Don't tell me how to feel, Amon. I want you to stay. Whether or not I should want it has no impact on that.

[ Fai will feel how he feels, other people's thoughts on that be damned. ]

Yes, well, allow me to be the selfish one for once.

[ You can't always get your way, Fai. ]

I wonder... if I left you everything, Yuui, would you come to Tokyo and take my snake home with you? I have yet to settle on how to rehome poor Caduceus. She should not have to suffer for my antics.

But I can’t take care of a snake, Amon.

[ Of course he would try, of course he would do it. ]

Her best life is with you. Alive.

She's a reptile, Yuui. She won't even realize that I'm gone.

[ Getting the snake home on a plane would be the toughest part but he'd leave more than enough to pay for two seats, easily first class, to Japan and back. What paperwork would be needed, though? He has to wonder. ]

You'll be able to get the proper tank setup from any pet store. The mice, too. Do get them frozen. Keeping live feed is troublesome at best.

Amon.

[ He finally stands, his fists clench. This is too much, he can’t take this, not when Fandaniel is so clearly planning and thinking this through. It makes him feel ill.

His eyes burn with tears and anger and hurt, but nothing slips, not even as his hands tremble. ]

I’ll go to Tokyo after the beta and stop you myself, you idiot.

[ Strange to see someone actually care but what does it matter? The threat feels empty, but only because Amon knows better. There's something shifty about the smile he offers Fai as he stands and declares that he'll stop him.

If only... ]

It will be interesting to see you try, then, if you mean it, but until then, take care. This game has become far more dangerous than it ever should have been.

[ And then he's turning to go, to leave, taking himself and those ridiculous fish flops with him before this conversation can drag on any further. ]

[ This isn’t the end. Fai won’t let it be.

So, he rushes toward Fandaniel, grabbing onto his elbow to keep him from leaving. ]

I care about you and I want you to stay. I like having you as a friend.

[ He sighs, his grip loosening slightly. ]

I brought Yael to lunch because I wanted all of us to get along. I wanted you to like the guy I was seeing. I know it was stupid, so you don’t have to tell me, but I figured I owe you the full truth.

[ Fandaniel allows it, stopping when his elbow is gripped and turning only enough to look back at Fai. He tries not to let his expression falter but Fai's certainly making this more difficult, isn't he? ]

Ah, well... it's nice to know at least one person will miss me. For that, I am sorry. The lunch, that was just. Yuui, that has nothing to do with this, not really. Some things have happened, that's all.

[ Which is so vague, but intentionally so. ]

This game has helped me see that this is the way for me. I won't turn back from it.

[ Fai wants this to be difficult. He needs it to be. ]

How has it helped you? How? Was it just the deaths? Is that all?

[ Maybe Fandaniel had thought Fai would leave it, would agree with this, but can’t. His heart aches with the need to know, to know if he could have done anything differently. This doesn’t all rest on his shoulders, but… maybe he could have helped prevent this outcome. ]

[ He turns to put a hand on the one Fai has hanging onto his arm. Why does he have to make this harder than it has to be? Why did he have to choose to play this game at all? How difficult this becomes when he has to face someone who actually gives a damn. ]

The deaths did help. I don't feel afraid of it anymore, of letting go. It'll be fine, Yuui, but you... You and Yael, the two of you should stop playing. Go to him, live your life, stay logged off.

[ He doesn't give a rat shit about Yael but if that's who Fai wants to be with, then that's what he should do. He never had to like Yael. That isn't his business, not in the end. ]

Though do be careful. He has a particularly violent streak that he isn't the best at burying.

I'm aware, much like I think you are also aware that I can manage it.

[ After all, Fai is the type to tell someone to go ahead and kill him if they threaten him. Matching someone's crazy is a little too easy for him to do.

His grip on Fandaniel's arm tightens, his fingertips pressing hard into his skin. ]

Do you really think I'll stop playing if the only time I have left with you is in this game? You know me better than that, you jerk.

[ Sorry, Fai. This will be the one time Fandaniel manages to out-crazy you, for the worst. As he continues to hang on, all Fandaniel can do is smile at him. It's a soft smile, at least, with none of that rude smugness or cruel or empty edge to it for once. ]

You make a fair point, I'll give you that, but I cannot guarantee that you'll still like me by the end of this.

[ As soft as that smile is, all it does is make Fai furrow his brows, his own lips pulling into a deep frown. ]

Why do you say that? What do you mean?

Because what will make it easier to let go of me, if not making you hate me?

[ Which may explain his next move, if nothing else. Partly to piss him off, partly to get him to let go, Fandaniel turns towards Fai and steps in closer, his free arm moving fast to reach up and tangle a fist in the front of his warlock robes.

He yanks the taller man down to his level, specifically so that he can kiss him. ]

[ It may be a brief kiss, but it's one that stuns Fai enough that he's frozen in place, wide-eyed, even after he pushes Fandaniel away. ]

...Amon.

[ He could lecture Fandaniel, tell him that he shouldn't be kissing Fai when he's taken and he's well aware of it, but that's the thing isn't it? Fandaniel knows that, knows that this would be the only kiss Fai wouldn't welcome from him.

He's purposefully crossing a boundary.

What else can he even say? ]

[ And with that, Fandaniel doesn't even have to wrench his arm away from Fai. He's pushed away instead and that's exactly what he wanted. ]

Yuui. [ He takes a step away, one arm sweeping behind his back and the other before him and at that point, he offers a mocking little bow to Fai. ] Let us enjoy the last few months we have together but! For now, I must take my leave.

[ Fandaniel pops back up from the bow and turns away, leaving Fine Wine's @ home -- and it's guild leader -- behind. ]

catch all >> september

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cw suicide mention

me forgetting the cw ty for adding it

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