[ closed ] Winter in September (October, November...) (dungeons + catchall)

[userunfriendly]

Who ❄ Michel and friends(?)
What ❄ area runs & overflow
When ❄ September and on
Where ❄ dungeons, assorted
Content Warnings ❄ kidnapping, captivity, suicidal ideation, self harm, TBA

⬣ Chasing Sunshine's Two Wings

Comments

slaps a warning on the log.......

[userunfriendly]

[ Is that what he'd wanted? Surely, he hadn't expected her to have all the answers. Was it cruel to urge her to tell him what he can already clearly guess for himself?

He can see the shadow of Gorre's habits in all of his little mannerisms now, and it's impossible to not second-guess. She already knows better than to expect tact from him — but now, more than ever, he doesn't want to inflict thoughtless pain with his words. ]

A future where you could see yourself...

[ He turns the words over with a little ghost of a smile. The trouble in the moment is that he can't see himself at all. which is a rich thing to doubt, when almost everyone else here is missing so much of what makes them them. What a pair the two of them make. ]

...Ambitious. I was thinking that leaving behind bad habits was a high enough hurdle to begin with. [ And a little flick of a glance at her again, although he won't press. Those are wounds he most certainly doesn't want to force open with words. ] I imagine you'd be deeply unimpressed if I said something like, "if you ever need to talk," wouldn't you...?

[ And it's not as if she doesn't have much better, well-adjusted, and reliable options. Although at times that can be a challenge of its own. ]

[ophidie]

I would, but bluntly speaking, I don't think you have enough guile for it to not be genuine about it, either.

[Talking does only go so far, and in so many increments at once, that go a little farther and then flow back like a wave. But someone who gets it is a little easier, still, than someone who she'd feel ashamed disappointing. That makes this possible now.]

I managed it once before, I think. [The contempt for herself that she's been trying to manage and work past still bleeds through there. It isn't fully healed yet. Why would she still feel this way, act this way, if it wasn't an innate part of her and not solely tied to memory?] At least, that's what I want myself to believe.

[At first she must have started wearing gloves (again?) to remind herself of something, because she'd tried to record some meaning. But she's forgotten the reason, now, too, and what it leaves now is a completely different kind of reminder.]

... So for you, shouldn't it also be attainable?

[userunfriendly]

[ Ah... straight to the heart, and a direct hit. One corner of Michel's mouth twitches wryly. ]

Coming from anyone else, I would suspect an insult hidden in that...

[ With Miharu's nature he's inclined to read it exactly as blunt as she claims it is. The part of his mind that compulsively, reflexively works overtime dissecting every word and gesture of a conversation can stay sleeping. It lightens the burden of speaking to another person more considerably than he would have expected, before Fragment. ]

I managed, once. At least, some bad habits. ...It's easier if you try not to acquire quite so many in the first place.

[ Although it's probably much too late for that, for either of them. His fingers brush distractedly along his sleeve. He wouldn't flinch to show them now, faded proof that healing is possible. But he also knows full well how little that could mean. Everyone carries their own weight, and comparison frequently becomes an anchor of its own. And as he implied — it's only one axis of his habitually unhealthy coping mechanisms. ]

...It's difficult to be certain of anything, with so much missing from your memory. The mind attempts to fill in the gaps... And I wonder if at times it makes it more impossible to make sense of things. But if you believe you managed it before, then I think you should trust in that. And the fact that it is what you wish to believe isn't inconsequential, either. So... it should be attainable to do it again, shouldn't it?