Who 🪨 Albedo and Co. What 🪨 Innocent events. When 🪨 :> Where 🪨 ΘNatural Wooden Sunrise, ΔDark Remarkable Cinema, Net Slum Content Warnings 🪨 Nothing to worry about.
[ Death is a shadow that hangs over them like a veil, even in the wake of their victory, of their survival to this point. Albedo has already come to terms with the worst possibilities in his heart, having imagined them, looking at the aspects that make up people's will to live as a human, and understand whether or not they've diminished. Whether it means their lives have been snuffed out before the proverbial or literal outstretched hand can reach them.
I shall not keep you from that decision. We will rest together, of course. Both of us will need an early rest for practical reasons as well.
[ The wounds, more obvious than mental ones, have also taken its toll on their bodies—marked for however long, but still quicker to vanish than the grief that sits in a person's heart. ]
[ Albedo's mouth shuts quickly, because he certainly hasn't meant to say that. But, even if he doesn't feel acutely the pain, he deduces his unwillingness to speak of it as a symptom that some of it must certainly remain.
It doesn't hurt so much. Not now. When I had heard Matoba Seiji had passed, that is when I concluded that Hien had been lost to us. Even if he were alive, I could only presume he would not wish to face us as himself any longer. Therefore, I was already prepared for the conclusion he was dead or that he would die by the end of the battle.
I had wished...I was wrong, in that line of thought. That said, I imagine even still that he might have rightfully mocked me, were he in his right mind, and knowing what I'd considered or hoped for after we last spoke. And not simply because I had risen his hopes, for him to retrieve Matoba once again. That, I assume he would be fine with.
On the other hand, I do not have memories of my mother any longer, but I had written down that she had abandoned me. Hien had told me, at the time, he was unwanted. Perhaps, I had thought, that could be a bridge, for us to come to a mutual understanding. And that...we could be friends.
[ He's quiet throughout Albedo's explanation. There's something about that last line, that he and Hien could have understood each other and have been friends. For Albedo to say something like that when he has had struggles with opening up in the past...
I think...maybe even before Matoba passed, that he would have appreciated what you tried to do for him. In the battle, I think – I think he reached out to me, once. He ruffled my hair shortly before he died. Skeith told me that Hien really liked all the food I made for him.
I don't know if he'd said anything like that to you, but I think there was a part of Hien that truly did appreciate at least some of the things people did for him. I think you showed him kindness...and I want to believe that it didn't go unrecognized.
You did the best you could have, and you don't have to be alone in your pain, either.
[ Albedo feels like someone else saying something like that in the first place (like the imposter someone once claimed he was, according to what pieces he had written down. A fake and other such unkind things he had taken care to write. All sordid pieces which necessitated a record so that he would not lose history of such pains.)
It doesn't seem like a kindness, only self-indulgent, and selfish. But, maybe he is being a bit hard on himself.
It's always easier to criticize himself than anyone else. Yet, he remembers when Skeith had asked if it was pity instead of respect, and that genuinely made him angry as well. Perhaps because he knows he himself is used to being misunderstood. Still, there is one person who has come to understand him very well. ]
...I imagine that it was the truth, indeed. Hien would not be the type of person to keep from indicating, in whatever way that it so happens to be, about whether a dish was palatable or not. Though, it is a pity I have not had the opportunity to sample your food.
Though, there is another pause as Albedo closes his eyes, giving a shuddering sigh. Yes, neither of them have to be alone in their pain, do they? He is used to that. But, things are different now. ]
At times, I wonder what it is I have done to deserve someone as kind and compassionate as you are.
I'll make you something. I only know how to do one dish, but I made sure I learned how to do it well.
[ He wants Albedo to try it, someday. Maybe when they're out of here.
He looks a little sheepish at the compliment, but his gaze remains soft, and he lets go of Albedo's hand in favor of resting it on his waist. He's a little hesitant to draw him closer due to the both of them being injured. ]
You don't owe me anything. All you did was be yourself.
Hmm...what kind of dish is it, exactly? Just so I understand what to look forward to.
[ Albedo figures he may as well ask. Why not?
It can be something he might be able to imagine fantasizing trying at all from his beloved's hand. He doesn't protest when the other shifts his hand to lie against his waist, but also appreciating his carefulness. ]
I have no idea what to say to that, other than to perhaps warn you that if I ever owned the world, you might change your mind.
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no subject
He sees the pained expression clear on Noé's face as if reflected back at him in a mirror, and reaches, a hand to cup one cheek, another finger—a thumb—to slide across it in a gentle caress. He leans in to press a gentle kiss, not short, but not lingering for far too long, before he pulls back, looking up at him. ]
Very well.
I shall not keep you from that decision. We will rest together, of course. Both of us will need an early rest for practical reasons as well.
[ The wounds, more obvious than mental ones, have also taken its toll on their bodies—marked for however long, but still quicker to vanish than the grief that sits in a person's heart. ]
no subject
Quietly, he leans forward and lightly touches their foreheads together. ]
I want to hear from you, too. You...you must be suffering, too. Right?
[ He only vaguely knows about how much Albedo tried to help Hien. Even if Albedo doesn't show as much emotion as Noé does, he's learning Albedo's language. He's learning about the little nuances that show how he feels. ]
no subject
[ Albedo's mouth shuts quickly, because he certainly hasn't meant to say that. But, even if he doesn't feel acutely the pain, he deduces his unwillingness to speak of it as a symptom that some of it must certainly remain.
He decides to be honest, unable to look away with Noé's forehead touching his own. ]
It doesn't hurt so much. Not now. When I had heard Matoba Seiji had passed, that is when I concluded that Hien had been lost to us. Even if he were alive, I could only presume he would not wish to face us as himself any longer. Therefore, I was already prepared for the conclusion he was dead or that he would die by the end of the battle.
I had wished...I was wrong, in that line of thought. That said, I imagine even still that he might have rightfully mocked me, were he in his right mind, and knowing what I'd considered or hoped for after we last spoke. And not simply because I had risen his hopes, for him to retrieve Matoba once again. That, I assume he would be fine with.
On the other hand, I do not have memories of my mother any longer, but I had written down that she had abandoned me. Hien had told me, at the time, he was unwanted. Perhaps, I had thought, that could be a bridge, for us to come to a mutual understanding. And that...we could be friends.
no subject
It nearly drives Noé to tears. He squeezes Albedo's hand in an attempt to be reassuring. ]
I think...maybe even before Matoba passed, that he would have appreciated what you tried to do for him. In the battle, I think – I think he reached out to me, once. He ruffled my hair shortly before he died. Skeith told me that Hien really liked all the food I made for him.
I don't know if he'd said anything like that to you, but I think there was a part of Hien that truly did appreciate at least some of the things people did for him. I think you showed him kindness...and I want to believe that it didn't go unrecognized.
You did the best you could have, and you don't have to be alone in your pain, either.
no subject
It doesn't seem like a kindness, only self-indulgent, and selfish. But, maybe he is being a bit hard on himself.
It's always easier to criticize himself than anyone else. Yet, he remembers when Skeith had asked if it was pity instead of respect, and that genuinely made him angry as well. Perhaps because he knows he himself is used to being misunderstood. Still, there is one person who has come to understand him very well. ]
...I imagine that it was the truth, indeed. Hien would not be the type of person to keep from indicating, in whatever way that it so happens to be, about whether a dish was palatable or not. Though, it is a pity I have not had the opportunity to sample your food.
[ He doesn't smile, the mood isn't right for that, and he is a bit stoic most of times, as Noé himself knows. But, his gaze is warm, his hand holding on firmly still after that supportive hand squeeze.
Though, there is another pause as Albedo closes his eyes, giving a shuddering sigh. Yes, neither of them have to be alone in their pain, do they? He is used to that. But, things are different now. ]
At times, I wonder what it is I have done to deserve someone as kind and compassionate as you are.
no subject
I'll make you something. I only know how to do one dish, but I made sure I learned how to do it well.
[ He wants Albedo to try it, someday. Maybe when they're out of here.
He looks a little sheepish at the compliment, but his gaze remains soft, and he lets go of Albedo's hand in favor of resting it on his waist. He's a little hesitant to draw him closer due to the both of them being injured. ]
You don't owe me anything. All you did was be yourself.
You deserve the world, because you're Albedo.
no subject
[ Albedo figures he may as well ask. Why not?
It can be something he might be able to imagine fantasizing trying at all from his beloved's hand. He doesn't protest when the other shifts his hand to lie against his waist, but also appreciating his carefulness. ]
I have no idea what to say to that, other than to perhaps warn you that if I ever owned the world, you might change your mind.
[ He smiles, finally. Then, the blond leans forward, placing a gentle kiss on Noé's lips, certain, and affectionate, before leaning back. ]
...I jest, of course. What I truly mean to convey is that I am honestly touched you feel that way. It means quite a bit, to hear you say such a thing.