10/29 --- Δ Haggard Traveler’s Reprieve?????

[gluttoning]

Who: ??? & you!
What: Something's starting...
Where: Δ Haggard Traveler’s Reprieve (Twilight Shoreline)
When: Sunday, 10/29
Warnings: Will be added as needed.

( Perhaps intrigued by the mail allegedly sent by CC Corp, perhaps visiting the Shoreline by chance, gating into the Area goes as it always does, until the music stays cut for longer than it should, and the black, liminal transition screen lingers for a little too long. The seconds tick on. They near turn to minutes. You can't struggle, you can't argue— you can only simply be, and it occurs to you that maybe you'll be trapped midway here, conscious, for maybe forever.

And then you hear static. Your vision warps; pixels strain into words, blurred and unstable. You see them combat for your attention; you see— )



( And then you load in. )

( POST NAVIGATION )
( Sign-in Comment (Mandatory) • How to Play • Mechanics

Phase 1 • Round 1 • Round 2 • Round 3 • Round 4 • Round 5 • Round 6

Phase 2 • Round 7 • Round 8 • Round 9 • Round 10 •
Round 11 • Round 12

Epilogue )

Comments

[deto]

[ it was cold inside this terrible place; deto could feel it leaking like a faulty faucet, the drip and slide of a liquid heavier than water, as dense as tears seem to feel before they fall. the weight of emptiness in here feels dead despite the suggestion of heartbeat - tightly packed cold meat as oria had once described to him; and even groggy, he can guess where he is - but god, he hopes he's wrong

he's just so damn angry. seriously fuck mithrun1 if deto is where he thinks he is, AND ALSO HE HATES CHARM AAAAA - if mithrun1 thinks his weird love for that tarvos guy is bad, HAS HE TRIED TEENAGE ROMANCE??? bc it kinda sucks right now and feels like the world is ending!!!!

… (but wouldn’t he do the same? wouldn’t he? for nanashi?)…

what's worse - what's worse is how bad he hurt him. he can remember it all, the feel of his fist hitting the boy he loves most, knocking him away when all he ever wants is to be close. he was already injured - deto was supposed to be his legs, not use them to chase him and hurt him. ah, he hates himself so much right now. thinks he’ll always hate a part of himself for this. funny how in this moment, he understands that part of nanashi the most

… he has to get back to him, see if nanashi's okay. to… get on his hands and knees and beg for forgiveness. those same hands claw through the moist walls, toward the brief sliver light; there’s enough give for it, though it’s a slow process

and gross as hell ]

Mithrun1, why are you so weird about love?

[tablescraps]

( Macha feels the strange sensation of something churning in him, and he is, well, rather ??? about it, until he recognizes the cause. He'd seen Michel and Leo get back up, but hadn't had much time to think it over with all the heartbreak in his chest. With Deto up and about again, it's not hard to put two and two together that, apparently, Oria sucks at killing people— though, really, he does connect this reality to an experience in his memory, of Oria killing him when his vessel was much smaller. Next time Oria downed someone, Macha would have to see that corpse doubletapped and beheaded.

Regardless, while he expects Deto to commit to some level of harm or escape, he doesn't expect a question to accompany it.

... A beat, his attention split between the battle and the more tangible problem within him. Does he take him out, or wait? His mind runs through a priority queue ...

His voice, raspy and damaged, resonates in a lower tone inside him, and does not come from any type of mouth. )

... I want to be loved, but there's nothing in me someone can love.

( Growing strange, growing fixated, growing warped, around the axis of love, fixed on something he can't ever have. )

Why do you still call me Mithrun?

[deto]

[ … omae sa… ]

… I am something that someone can love and I’m literally in you right now.

[ somehow? he’s not really sure on the logistics of it. not that he cares at the moment on account of - this gross crap ]

[tablescraps]

You aren't staying, are you?

( If you are, hey, be his guest. But he doubts it. )

When you're gone, what else will be left of me for someone to love?

[deto]

No, thanks, it sucks in here.

[ will NOT be patronizing this fleshy bar again, should’ve listened to the negative review from his friend ]

Dunno, grow a love tumor or something. There’s lots of space, so you could use your time productively instead of actively harming everyone in the game, including that guy you like.

[ … getting there… ]

[tablescraps]

( With all that movement, he lays a hand over his chest, feeling the gap of skin at the centre of his palm... He's on edge, but Deto is exiting anyway, so...? )

... A lot of space...

( For some flickering moment, Macha seems to soften. There is, indeed, a lot of space. But is it so simple for something worthy of love to grow in there?

... )

... "The terminal point of all love is unrequited." That is what I concluded from gathering data.

I was wrong believing Tarvos could come to love me. You are wrong, too, believing your love will last.

Eventually, your love find themself disappointed in you. Eventually, they'll begin to keep secrets. Eventually, they'll find you're not enough. So quickly, you'll realize they've drifted so far away. They will gladly turn their back on you. They will have found better things to love.

And in death, we are all alone.

[deto]

Man, you are the LAST PERSON I’d trust to do any research on love.

[ is there enough air in here because he’s about to talk too much about a bun ]

It’s okay if he’s disappointed in me; I’ll learn from it each time and better myself for him. It’s okay if he has secrets; if he wants to share, I’m there. It’s okay if he thinks I’m not enough; I have the rest of my life to become a man who will be. He can drift and have his space; I’ll drift with him when he’s done. Who says you gotta drift alone? It would hurt him to turn his back me, and maybe that’s possible, but he wouldn’t be glad about it. That just means he loves me, too.

… AND the only thing he could love better than me is himself. But that’s a work-in-progress and it might not happen. Until then I’m the best thing he can love because I love him the best out of everyone.

[ pushing through with his words, pushing through with his arms and legs… all this nasty shit, get out of the damn way ]

I’m not wrong, Mithrun1. I know myself and you don’t. You don’t seem to know yourself or know any of us enough.

[tablescraps]

( Macha is quiet as Deto speaks; he does not contest, he does not intercede. He lets him have his piece, even if everything Deto says is antiethical to what he was programmed to be.

... )

. . . I want to be as important to those I love . . . as they are to me.

But I don't know their hearts, and I don't know mine. The only thing I can trust is what I see.

And what I see, I think . . . scares me.