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.:A Brief Interlude:.
Who: Ganymede and people.
What: It's a meeting.
Where: Mac Anu, Ganymede's McMansion.
When: 10/12
Warnings: Nothing yet.
MAC ANU ~ GANYMEDE'S MCMANSION
The everpresent afternoon sunset hangs, echoing picturesque across the glass windows apparent at each spot within the large building. In a large room full of tables and what not are heaps of various cuisine settled here or there. Seafood, pastas, drinks, the like; Mediterranean style so if nobody likes that...gomen.
Ganymede has made it clear that he prefers people to be here in order to get themselves together. Sorted, somehow. They're all acting with a sort of independence he seems disinterested in disturbing, but he wants the prospect of potential solutions to be floated along.
If someone has new information they can share, well, it is encouraged. If not, he hopes that they will at least participate in some way.
It now begins.
(( OOC Note: People will not be attacked by monsters once within the McMansion, including pool area. ))
What: It's a meeting.
Where: Mac Anu, Ganymede's McMansion.
When: 10/12
Warnings: Nothing yet.
The everpresent afternoon sunset hangs, echoing picturesque across the glass windows apparent at each spot within the large building. In a large room full of tables and what not are heaps of various cuisine settled here or there. Seafood, pastas, drinks, the like; Mediterranean style so if nobody likes that...gomen.
Ganymede has made it clear that he prefers people to be here in order to get themselves together. Sorted, somehow. They're all acting with a sort of independence he seems disinterested in disturbing, but he wants the prospect of potential solutions to be floated along.
If someone has new information they can share, well, it is encouraged. If not, he hopes that they will at least participate in some way.
It now begins.
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...
He watches the gesture, studying it. All that pressure trapped in such a tight, tense, little space, means only that... )
... Something like that. I feel like I might burst.
( ... he closes his eyes for a moment. )
Is your love conditional?
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[ though if they think about it, they don’t know if they’d be able to put him back in the right way either. he fits all of them differently and the way they would pick to align the pieces is not the same as how justy would do it. or bear. ]
Yes. It’s name is Mithrun. Morgan. That’s the condition.
[ he should know that? ]
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... I would love someone no matter who they became.
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( Just him, though, he guesses. He knows... Hani isn't alone in their perspective. Even Barrett refused to promise that, in more general terms. )
... I have once before. I remember that. I was one person, and then I was a different person after an accident... "Morgan" felt like my name before, but... "Mithrun" feels more like my name now.
... But, if it happened once before, it can happen again. So I guess I'll just have to start over.
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[ they remember a bite underwater, sinking down into a monster's waiting arms. ]
So you want to spend your entire life prepared to start over, just in case it happens again. And you want someone who can love you through all of that. And you don't think this love that has Mithrun's name will last long enough for that change?
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( Glancing at their body language - he's had his shoulder broken by Barrett too, so he knows how bad it hurts. )
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It would want to love you. But I don’t have experience in loving someone that long in this way, so I don’t know beyond that. I wanted to love the other you, too. [ a pause. ] And you said you might leave, so I don’t know what to do with you love at that point. Could I put it away in my heart? Am I supposed to let it go?
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Not very much like him, he draws him his knees. He thinks he understands. )
What would make you happier? Keeping it in your chest, or dispersing it like a body's ashes?
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Would happiness be a possibility at that point?
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( Not judgmental, but asking, inquiring, wanting to know. )
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[ they turn to face him fully, as steady as their smile. sometimes, they try to be careful for the people they love, though it’s not something that comes instinctively to them. it’s always a choice; they don’t choose it today.
their words are blunt: ]
I know you don’t love me in the way I love you. [ weeks of catching all the words and holding them up into the light to glean meaning, wondering with a curiosity not quite like hope if there was something more in each act. if nothing else, an understanding was gained. simple affection exists, that’s the conclusion. ] Still, I am happy with you. My love doesn’t need to be returned, but it needs a person to go to.
When you leave, if there is no one for me to love that is comprised of all the things you are and will be… In that moment, do you think I could be happy?
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... I see. So, even if the feelings of the person you love don't match yours, you can still be happy as long as they remain beside you.
( Despite the somewhat sensitive tone he had maintained up until now - the way he says this is strangely impersonal, like he's building a case. )
I won't be going anywhere. Not as long as I'm here. You'll be happy, then. But will it ache? Does it ache? Or is it really enough, to have me here? Will your hunger, your lack of satisfaction, haunt you?
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[ though they call it by something else within them. ]
Sometimes, I cannot help, but listen to it. That’s… rare, I think. For how can I listen to a sound that’s being drowned out by so much love?
[ hani knows they are very, very loved. it wraps around them in thousands and thousands of stitches, each a word, chained together in a blanket of happiness, softer than the clouds, warmer than the sun. ]
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( He seems a little more at ease.
He settles against the back of the couch, and his speech resumes a little more naturally: )
Do you feel loved right now? Despite what happened?
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[ their simple answer. ]
But I always feel loved here. Do you?
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He pauses, though, when Hani asks. For a moment he sort of frowns, his brows furrowing; in part, he'd not thought about it in such concrete terms before. In part, though, when he thinks about it now... )
... I feel a sense of dread.
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Whose love are you thinking of that feels like that?
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( His gaze lingers on Hani, then drifts across the room; eventually, it comes to rest on the way that leads out, that Barrett had taken. That one most of all. )
It feels so certain.
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Thank you for coming back. [ a touch on his cheek to get his attention again. ] Chase it, what you think will leave you. Prove yourself wrong.
[ the smile they offer him is a little sad, a little happy, and as always, full of love. ]
Chase him. He’s hurt, too, where it matters most.
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... He sent me back here. And... he'll only let me so close. Lily...
( ... )
... I think Lily has his heart now. And no matter what I do, I can't halt his course.
( He's tried. But it's clear that - he's at odds with himself, here. He doesn't say Lily's name happily. But he isn't so sure that's who he should be blaming. Is it Lily's fault? Barrett's? Some many things else? Or all factors simultaneously, in equal measure? )
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