altimit | [closed]

[It distracts from the fear and - in a small way, anger, a tiny little spark in a wet forest - his gaze fixing properly on the boy in front of him instead of feeding into further anxiety about Lily.

...Right. This is what they agreed to.

He has his answer, and it's time to say it.]

...I like you. And... I love you, too. When we were on the beach - I knew I had to make sure I never lost it. That I never forgot that moment.

[His memories feel like a mess in a different way right now, but he's got that one locked down, clear where others are muddied, still finding the right place to slot back into the timeline.]

It'll always be you.

[ quietly listening to yoshi’s words until that last sentence. then the way deto smiles at him, like he’s everything deto could ever want found right here in is arms. and he is. deto’s fine with him being a little scrambled, a little bruised because he’s always believed in that little spark within him ]

So it’ll be you and me from now until always.

[ he’s not done asking all the things, properly ]

When we get out of here, once I graduate, move in with me? You get tamagoyaki for lunch everyday. …And I’ll make you tempura and croquettes for the rest of your life.

[ he knows what he’s asking with this phrasing, deliberate and just for yoshi to understand ]

Edited 2023-10-18 14:15 (UTC)

[Oh. He wasn't expecting that to be part of the equation, not really. It's clear by the way his eyes go wide and his cheeks flush pink that he's been caught off guard.

And he'd just calmed enough that the red left his face...]

It- it doesn't have to be every day.

[He says it with a laugh, part incredulous, part touched, the lengths he's willing to go, far more than anyone else ever has in his life.

He leans in, nuzzling up against Akira's cheek, overcome with affection, face flushed pleasantly warm.]

...I'll come with you. But- I'll help with cooking, too. I'll learn all the things you like, so...

Let me give back too.

[ the fierce smile that breaks across his face quickly gives way to a bright, elated laugh. ]

Ha, I dunno, I think I just got a lot back right now once you said yes. I think I just got everything I wanted.

[ he nuzzled back, lifting the other boy off his feet, into a sweeping hug. all of yoshi, all of him, all deto’s. ]

Whoa-!

[Getting picked up definitely catches him off guard, but he's a noodle and therefore very easily pickupable. Who'd have thought?]

[The hug is nice though, and once he gets over the initial startle he just laughs along with Akira, curling his arms and legs around the other boy, clinging to him.]

...Even if you say that, it's hard to feel like... I'm worth all that.

[Getting his memories back didn't magically fix his self-esteem. If anything, it just made it tank again.]

...I love you. So that's why... I want to become better, too.

I want to be able to make your favorite foods, and do all kinds of things you love too, Akira.

Yeah? Keep saying my name then.

[ yoshi smiles, this close and this warm, and deto smiles back. he imagines he looks something like a besotted idiot, hopeless, helplessly charmed by every look, every expression.

it really is too bad that star-shaped mole is hidden by his hair. deto brushes his lips against it, then does the same for yoshi’s lips. ]

Everything I have and everything I like, I’ll share with you. So those complicated feelings tearing you up inside, share them with me, okay? No matter how long they stay with you, I’ll stay with you longer. Forever.

[ he’s not the strongest guy, but he can manage to walk them to yoshi’s bed, where he sets the boy down carefully at its edge. ]

Do you want to talk more about them?

[How quickly it's become second nature to lean into every kiss, every touch, nuzzling at Akira's neck to leave a kiss in return as he's carried back to his bed. It's once he's settled down, heard Akira's words through, that he looks at the other boy, expression puzzled.]

Talk about... being trash?

[ kneeling down in front of him, taking his hands ]

Feeling like trash. You're not trash.

[He gives Akira one of those little smiles that says everything for him: he believes Akira believes that. But he can't believe it himself.]

...I'm not really sure why everyone came to that conclusion. But they all do, eventually.

The memories I was left with... it was all the times I made friends. People don't actually mind me to start, you know? They'll say I'm friendly and sociable, things like that. But then...

...

...After a week or so, it's like they've seen something disgusting about me. And after that, they can't stand to be around me anymore. Over and over again...

["Drifting between groups" indeed.]

...And then, before I know it, there isn't anyone left. ...But that's not how it is for normal people, is it?

[ deto shakes his head, trying to concentrate on the hands held in his. trying real hard not to let his anger burst out. ]

You are normal. But no, that kind of situation… It sounds like there was something - or I guess someone - following you, determined to alienate you from everyone.

It just takes one domino to start for them all to tumble, right? So if there was someone spreading rumors behind your back to their friends, to your friends. Or like, some brat telling their parents lies about you, and those parents tell their friends who tell their kids to stay away.

It doesn’t even have to be anything probable. They could say you’re cursed because of the way you look, and superstition will handle the rest.

Maybe...

It was only a few people calling me trash at first. But after a while, it spread. When I said I didn't mind it, that's when people started getting creative with all kinds of other names, too.

[ a hissed breath. he counts to three in his head, then to ten, then to twenty. ]

I hate that so much. I hate how cruel they were to you. [ but at least he’s saying this as calmly as he can, fingers flexing around yoshi’s. ] You were just a kid.

[ in his mind’s eye, a smaller version of yoshi with big red eyes. as a child, what do you do when something like this happens to you? how do you ask for help when you don’t know you need it? ]

I would have fought for you, if we had met earlier. But I’m always going to be glad you exist, okay?

[...

He holds onto Akira's hands, grip squeezing tight for a moment.]

I should be happy to hear that, but my heart just hurts again...

[After being numb to it all for so long, it feels especially painful now.]

That just means it’s working.

[ that it’s still beating after everything it’s been through. ]

Tell me what to do. Tell me what you want. I’ll do anything.

...I don't know.

I tried... really, really hard not to want too much.

It... didn't really feel like I deserved to.

[To want. To hurt. To cry.

If he hollowed himself out, maybe he'd have more to give, then...]

[ hm ]

What if we start small? Ask me one thing a day. One thing you want to do or to have - or one thing you want from me. That doesn’t count as too much, right?

[-?!]

Are you sure?

[That still sounds like a lot to him.]

Desperately sure I want to make you happy.

[ so he’s willing to do much, much more ]

[...]

Can I ask for the same thing more than once?

Yeah.

[ anything ]

...For today... all I want is a kiss, I think.

[Still uncertain - it feels wrong somehow, being the one to ask anything of others. A lowly being like him, not even fit to be called human.]

[ learning that this particular smile cuts him a little. but it’s okay. yoshi’s asking for a kiss, so deto will just kiss it away.

easy enough to cup yoshi’s face, cradle the gentle slope of his chin and jaw, and pull him down to meet deto’s lips. the sweet sound of a slow, tender kiss quietly lingers in the air. what counts as one kiss? when their lips part for more than a beat? then parting like this for half a beat doesn’t count as deto dives back in immediately. multiple times.

it’s probably too long for one kiss by the time he breaks to give yoshi some air. ]

… Like that?

[ was that the type of kiss yoshi wanted? ]

[He's easily guided into the kiss...es. That definitely counts as multiple, not that he seems to mind, meeting him again each and every time. By the time they break off, he's left flushed as he catches his breath, fingers trailing over his lips like he can still catch a bit of that sensation on his fingertips.]

...Yeah. Just like that.

[He doesn't look quite as satisfied as he did the last time they kissed. Memories have made him meek, like the mere act of asking is a crime.

But... Akira wants him to ask. Wants him to want. And...

Even if it's hard to ask, wanting Akira comes far, far more easily.]

...More?

[ his answer is another kiss that works its way from affectionate to heated in mere seconds

in his meekness, yoshi seems to have forgotten how much deto wants him. as if yoshi isn’t a constant on his mind. he tries to remind him with this kiss, open-mouthed and wet as a burning want rises from the base of his stomach, up his spine, to the back of his neck. he thinks he can feel the same happening with yoshi, thumb rubbing his jawline, fingers curled in his hair. imagines he’s warmer than usual here ]

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

1/2

2/2

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject