[open] BIRTHDAY PICNIC

[tinged]

Who ꕤ EVERYONE
What ꕤ zelkova's picnic-birthday bash!
When ꕤ oct 3
Where ꕤ Holzig Camping Grounds
Content Warnings ꕤ some grief, probably



PRE-PICNIC

[ The invitations have all been sent out, but there's still prep work to be done. The food and drinks have to be made, the decorations crafted and set up along with the tents and such. An eclectic mix of players are organizing this event: Mr_Misteaks, tylorific, Vogel, Mithrun1, and tabibito. Hien (!) has kindly (tabibito's phrasing) volunteered to help them set up. Though in the end, it's more like four capable adults and two problem children (who have stringent orders to stay AWAY from the knives).

Should anyone else choose to come early to help out, they'll be welcomed with smiles. There's joy in the air, though loss tinges it at the edges.

Before the party starts, however, Hien will be gone. And before that, the group presents Hien with a small "cake" of his own: a savory spring galette. ]

HAPPY, SAD BIRTHDAY

[ At noon is when the guests are told to arrive, with the party lasting until sunset.

Holzig Camping Grounds looks a little different! The decorations are simple and colorful; banners of varying quality hang over the tents and weave through the trees. Most notable are the silver and gold balloons that read: Happy 0 Birthday! There are thick logs for seating and some foldout seats for those with sensitive bums around the lone campfire, lit and flickering wildly.

The tents are also set up for some reason! (They're for naps.)

There are multiple picnic tables. The first and smallest provide finger sized portions of tamago sando and fruit sando. The next couple of tables are bigger: build-your-own bars for sandwiches, salads, hotdogs, burgers, and s'mores! There is, of course, a table for alcohol and other drinks.

At the center table is a cake, German chocolate and winter-themed with five little fondant ornaments placed by five different hands, and strangely enough, there is a dish of roast pork with parsley sauce right next to it. If asked what the dish is, tabibito will answer with something that sounds like "Steak Flakes Persimmons" at first before they pronounce it properly and fluidly: Stegt flæsk med persillesovs.

Eat up! Have fun chatting! And don't forget to dedicate a toast to Zelkova! ]

A BREAK

[ A little out of the way, in a small clearing, guests will notice there are a couple of ugly pinatas strung about: there are exactly three of them and they're all the letter C in a putrid green. Guests are encouraged to use their own weapons, though a wooden stick is provided.

If piñatas aren't their thing, there's also a giant watermelon, a blindfold in the design of an angry pomchi, and a wooden baseball bat. Ok, so watermelon smashing is a beach thing, but why not take their anger out on something right? They've all been through a lot. ]

SHE DANCES ON THE WIND

[ Midway through the party, tabibito calls for a moment of remembrance for Uta. tabibito will toast to her memory with a quiet smile because she was all smiles all the time and so full of drive - but everyone is free and welcome to honor her memory as they wish. ]

Comments

[tinged]

From what? Of what?

[ robot-alien antenna reading the signals and finding them distressingly similar to when justy says he’s ok. ]

Mmrm… [ in the blink of an eye, hani makes their decision. they take the plate away from emil and place it on the closest table. that’ll be for later. then they take his hand and lead him to the nearest tent. ] Come, Emil-kun.

[insinning]

...I don't know. [ It's the truth. He really doesn't know]

It's hard for me to tell.

[ He lets Hani lead them to the tent, completely compliant]

[tinged]

[ hani sits him in the tent. inside is all cozy comfort for soft lounging, fuzzy blankets and downy pillows over a cushiony mat. with a kiss on his head, they bid him wait a moment.

it only takes a minute or two for them to come back with a hot mug of ceylon tea, a tad spiced with ginger, sweetened with condensed milk. just one for the two of them to share. they scoot into the tent and settle in next to him, pressed close. here, he can have the first sip. ]

Sugar helps.

[insinning]

[ Sinclair blushes a little, as he always does. He sips at the tea as he settles into the comfortable tent]

It's good...

[tinged]

[ hani takes a sip next. mm, just right. ]

Mhmm. So! What are you feeling? Can you describe it?

[insinning]

[ He leans against Hani a little, playing with the edges of a fluffy blanket]

Restless...like I need to start running. But there's no where to go.

[tinged]

[ they rock against him. ]

But if you start running, will you not reach somewhere eventually? And from there, you can make it to where you need to go?

[insinning]

I wonder.

[He takes another sip of the tea]

If where I'm running to is the best option.

[tinged]

Is that… related to your other thoughts?

[ the ones about killing, maybe. ]

[insinning]

...yeah.

[ He hunches a little, wondering how much he can explain]

It's...before we got stuck here, I came across something that made me so unbelievably angry...I think if anyone stood in my way I could have hurt them.

[tinged]

[ hani listens, each word taken in and considered carefully. ]

You were angry... and hurt? I can't see mere anger pushing you to that extent, so I think there was probably more to it.

[insinning]

[Sinclair is quiet fora very long moment and then, finally:]

...the week we got stuck here, my family's graves were desecrated.

[ Soft, uncertain]

I didn't really get a chance to process it...[because he was basically sedated and other things were happening]

But now, there's less for me to do...

[tinged]

[ oh.

emil… their emil. ]

…

[ hani carefully places the mug down, nestled in blankets, stabilized by liquid weight. then they shift and hug him to them. ]

I love you. I’m sorry.

[insinning]

[ His eyes go hot, despite himself and he wraps his arms around Hani in turn, hugging him firmly]

Thank you. For loving me.

[He's so angry he could scream]

I can't let go...

[tinged]

Don’t let go. The you that’s angry, the you that’s hurt. The you that loves your family, the you that hates the tragedy of their passing. The you that might hurt someone.

[ each “you” laced with love. ]

Don’t let go. All of those pieces are important.

[insinning]

I don't like all those parts of me though.

[ He feels like he needs to cut it up, divide it neatly so he can fit in the world]

[tinged]

[ very quietly: ]

No one likes all of themselves.

[ they kiss his shoulder, arms clutching all of him. ]

Accepting those parts as necessary, living with them despite hating some of them - if you don't, you'll constantly fight with yourself. You'll be torn when you could be whole.

[insinning]

[he clings to hani, his thoughts catching on that - no one, huh?

but he doesn't pursue it, as he tries to piece things back together]

...that part of me is violent though. Scary. [ He squeezes a bit more.] When I think about how much I want that person dead...

[tinged]

[ ... ]

When you think about how much you want that person dead... by your hand?

[insinning]

It's awful, right?

[ Shaking ]

...but yes. I want to kill her. Maybe she'll let me go then.

cw: drowning

[tinged]

...

[ emil is shaking, but hani's hold remains steady. so does their voice. with soft, even tones, they tell him a story. ]

I killed Morgan once. At the time, he wasn't the version we love. He... made me angry. So I dragged him into the water and drowned him. Just like that. [ caught him in the tangle of their will and held him until there was nothing left. watched every breath bubble out of him. ] That was when death in this game wasn't as real. But, Emil... I know with full certainty that I would do it again even though our conditions have changed.

[ they love everyone and yet they love so few. ]

She can't have you.

[ but what they mean is: I would drown her, too. ]

Re: cw: drowning

[insinning]

[Hani's words are a calm that still the raging storm that threaten to swallow Sinclair whole. Each word, a droplet. He thinks about what Mithrun was like before, what Hani is like now.

He understands a little.

Things people didn't like about themselves, huh?

He reaches up and pets Hani's hair gently.]

I think...I understand. They're both 'Morgan' but one is a stranger in a way.

[Soft, uncertain ]

Thank you.

[These are anchors, holding him at bay, just for now]

It must have been difficult, after...

[tinged]

[ after.

in the moment, during the act, easy as breathing. ]

The difficult part was finding the words. As always, it’s the words.

[ drifting off into the wind, hard to catch and hard to make sense of. ]

But. Emil. I wasn’t satisfied, after. I just felt hollow. Even though I know I would do it again, I also know, now, that I won’t be satisfied the next time either. Or the next when I…

[ do that again. try to kiss him again. try to love him again. they’re not sure why they’d want to. but they feel the itch in their bones.

hani shakes their head. this is about emil. ]

You won’t be satisfied - after. The world still won’t be fair when you come out of it. The terrible things, they still happened. But so did the wonderful things.

[insinning]

[ Sinclair nods, looking down. It's so unlike what Mithrun has told him; that he wont feel like this anymore once it's done. That he wont be twisted up in knots, every breath panicked and torn]

...I hope it wont. Be satisfying, I mean. Because that'd make me like her and--

[ A short breath as be buries his face against Hani's hair]

It's so unfair. But I want to keep all of this safe too.

[tinged]

[ strangely, that makes them smile, and they nuzzle back against him. ]

You won’t be like her. [ so it’s a her. hani stores that information in the dark recesses of their mind. ] You are not like her. You are only ever made to be what you are, and that’s beloved.

[ they don’t know her, but they know this. ]

But you do need to let this anger out in some way before it tears you apart. Tell me about her? All your angry thoughts. Let them out.