[Closed] misteaks' mistakes (catchall)

[gluttoning]

Who: Misteaks and also some other people
What: Event catchall + dungeon runs
When: August - September, maybe later who knows
Where: various, please note in headers
Content Warnings: parental death, child abuse (emotional/verbal), child death, ED mention. Please cw in headers.

[overflow and log space for August and September]

Comments

[tablescraps]

Just be yourself. If it's going to happen, it'll happen.

( No pressure(????) )

... I'll try to produce results. ( Since Barrett says he'd like to see it. ) I don't usually have people around me who think I can improve. But... the people here want me to. Fragment's playerbase is strange.

[gluttoning]

[...

After a moment to think, Barrett lifts a hand to rest against Morgan's shoulder.]

Improvement can take hard work. It helps a lot to have goals, though. Even if they're small ones.

Maybe you can make a goal for yourself while you're in the beta.

[tablescraps]

( Oh, he looks up at the touch. )

A goal...? Like what?

[gluttoning]

You said you want to produce results. But it's hard to know what you mean by that. Goals are best if you know what you want and don't make it too hard to achieve.

[It's a concept he follows constantly. Muscle training couldn't happen overnight, after all.]

What do you think would be a good result for you?

[tablescraps]

( This is true. Mm... )

... Avoiding pain when I register it.

( It makes his goal a lot harder if he's at risk for a minor injury going untreated because of his own mental blind spot.

He seems to think on this after he's said it, though, acknowledging this might be a rather large goal - he glances at Barrett for input. )

[gluttoning]

Mn... [It's getting there. He's no expert, but it's narrower than "results" at least!]

You could break that down into steps, too. You already did, sort of.

[He counts it off on his fingers.]

[One.] You gotta know when your body is saying no. [Two.] And you gotta know what to do when it says it. It's hard to do the second if you don't know the first.

You struggled getting up from the pool, right? What kind of things were you feeling before I came in and got you?

[tablescraps]

( Ah... That makes sense to him. He nods.

As for the question. He thinks, gaze falling down to his drink, which he'd been passively sipping. )

... I think... my chest felt hot. I felt dizzy. It was hard to see. And I felt heavy.

( signs of not having air and taking water into his lungs, ultimately )

[gluttoning]

[Considering the dude was entirely underwater, this all makes sense.]

Nothing very good to be feeling, most of the time. Being dizzy is a pretty good sign something might be wrong.

[He rests his chin against one of his propped arms, watching Morgan closely.]

Could you tell it was hard to breathe?

[tablescraps]

... I think so. I realized I couldn't.

( And then he just... stayed there. But he seems to be taking mental notes based on what Barrett says. )

[gluttoning]

Mmhmm. Breathing is kind of important.

[Obvious statement is obvious, but he's not mocking here.]

So you went into the water. You felt a lot of things, in your chest and in your head. You realized you couldn't breathe. And you stayed still.

What do you think would feel like a good result for you, if that happened again? If you felt those kind of feelings again.

[tablescraps]

( 🤔 )

... Probably... coming up for air.

( Right? )

[gluttoning]

[Heh. The pouty face is kind of cute.]

Yeah. But think more specifically.

What could you physically do?

[tablescraps]

( There's more ??? )

... Swim out of the tank?

[gluttoning]

Mhmm. Maybe even just "swimming to the surface." You don't need to be out of the tank to be able to breathe. And if your mouth isn't in the water anymore, you could even ask someone for help.

[Options!]

If you felt the floor under your feet, do you think you could you stand up?

[tablescraps]

( yay!! )

... I could.

( Thinks... )

I think my brain just goes, "I don't want to." But maybe I can train it.

[gluttoning]

Maybe. Motivation is hard even with a healthy brain. [He knows it's not always that easy. He couldn't expect Booker to just be able to get out of bed if he was tired. Some days it was good to push it. Others, not so much.]

So you've got all your tools. You know it feels bad, you know things you could do that are different, and you know you could do it.

Training underwater is kind of dangerous. But... maybe you could try it somewhere else? Even if it's just... training to stand up when your body doesn't want to.

Anything come to mind?

[tablescraps]

( if mithrun were a cat his tail might just be up with a little curl at the tip. it's his vibe right now, even if his face doesn't change much. he's been pursuing a big abstract goal and his brain hasn't been agreeing with it, but this is concrete and mechanical. he can train himself to respond, even if he doesn't want to live, even if he doesn't want to stop drowning.

he can't kill that man if a bit of water is enough to kill him down, after all. )

It might not be that dangerous. For example, I ask someone to drown or submerge me, and bring me back up if I don't attempt to get up within a few moments... And then I can try again. The consequences are only temporary here.

( Mithrun had inadvertently described waterboarding. He unfortunately seems very genuine. )

I guess standing up works. If I don't have anything to do next I just stay lying down.

( ragdolling )

[gluttoning]

[Well! He was on-board until the waterboarding!]

That's gonna put a lot of stress on your heart and brain, though. Even if it doesn't last that long.

[Who would want to drown themselves 500 times in a row with how realistic this game felt?? (Mithrun, apparently)

He sighs, running his free hand against his neck as he thinks over the rest.]

Having someone with you is smart. Maybe starting somewhere where your head is... above the water, first.

Maybe we'll get a pool at one of the guilds. We could ask.

[tablescraps]

( Hmmm... Strain on the heart and brain is something he hadn't considered. Barrett stays Mithrun's waterboarding hand, for now. )

... A pool might work. I haven't been in one for a long time.

( Due to lack of opportunity or due to likelihood of drowning? You decide.

A beat, where he seems to not be sure how to phrase what he intends to say, but eventually he manages: )

... Thanks. For all this.

[gluttoning]

Mn? [It's an absent hum with his straw still in his mouth, reverberating down the plastic.]

Ah. No problem.

You can let me know if you come up with anything else. I always like to have someone cheer me on for my goals.

Maybe you'll like it, too.

[Nothing got the blood pumping more than several football players cheering when you benchpress a new goal mark.]

[tablescraps]

( Oh... )

... I'm only in Fragment. ( So he can't do anything for him irl. ) But maybe I'll cheer you on next time, too.

( Barrett probably doesn't have any goals to accomplish in here. And imagining Mithrun cheering is probably hard, even for Mithrun himself. But hey. Never say never. )

[gluttoning]

[He goes quiet for a second, nodding silently and gently chewing on the straw in his mouth. Mmn. He can't go giving this sort of stuff out to anyone. But...]

...Hey.

Do you watch football at all? On TV?

[tablescraps]

( He shakes his head. )

Not recently... Are your games on TV?

( :O! )

[gluttoning]

Yeah.

[It's weird to say out loud, and the nerves hit him a little more than he expects. But he's proud to be at this school, on this team, doing this sport. It's what he's good at

It's all he's good at.]

I play for Cal, with the Bears. Second string, so you probably won't see me anyway unless something goes wrong. But we still have our first division game coming up in about a week.

Even if you can't watch... it would feel nice knowing a friend is wanting my team to do well.

[tablescraps]

( There's a few moments while Mithrun digs through his mental repository of real world knowledge that he has in his head but is kind of dusty because he hasn't accessed it much in the past two years.

Ah.

Mithrun nods. He recognizes that Barrett probably doesn't want to be very forthcoming about details of his real life, like most players here, and that Barrett shared that with him anyway. )

... Okay. I'll watch. How often do they play?

( He knows of football and California's teams, as well as the general big teams and such (sports is way too common a topic irl for him not to know them during his socialite days), but he's never actually like, paid much attention. How does it work? He doesn't do much else, anyway. Literally just sits around all day or plays Fragment. )