altimit | [Closed] misteaks' mistakes (catchall)

[It's not the brutal punch of dread that Lily's passing had been. The adrenaline instead creeps in, and the cold settles, long and heavy and never ending.

To lose someone so dear and to not even have a place for it... for them to just vanish...

He hates it. There's a horrifying depth to the loneliness and the despair, the emptiness that fills with liquor and stupor and the fragments left of a life without her. Even the forced bravery that parades around under delusion feels horrifying. A coping born from desperation.

...

His face has gone pale by the time the memory drifts, a hand out to steady himself against one of the mirror frames as he stumbles back a step.]

I... Okay. Okay, I think I... I get it. [A hand lifts to press against his own throat, against the lingering burn left from the ghost of far too much alcohol.] That was...

[A glance is cast towards Hector.]

Mehmet. Right?

I'm sorry. I should have believed you

Edited 2023-08-21 16:43 (UTC)

[ Hector jumps, startled by the sudden sound of his own name. It was only a second for him, and the sudden shift in demeanor in Misteaks is strange to him.

He's skeptical at first. He doesn't like the thought of someone knowing his real name, and part of him wants to say that it isn't it. Except if he experienced anything like what he just did, then...

It takes a while for him to actually say something, though. His voice is low when he talks, but the alarm is written all over his posture. ]

What did you see?

...The night your sister went missing. You were... drunk. You hadn't heard from her in... a week?

You... were in bed a lot after. Broke up with your girlfriend. Drank a lot. You wanted to find her and save her.

...

[It feels better, to be transparent. He knows how scared he felt when Hector had just mentioned his own memory, how the vague discussion had just been hard to swallow.

He deliberately turns his back from the glass. Something's seriously wrong with this place.]

I'm sorry. That... was really personal for you.

[ At the word sister, Hector's head snaps away. That memory is vivid, even now, even after all these years and how dearly he's paid for never seeking treatment. He lets Misteaks speak, frozen, hearing the details of a time he thought he'd left behind. ]

...It's all right.

[ It's kind of fair, isn't it? He saw a terribly traumatic moment in Misteaks's life. It's only fair he do the same.

Hector suddenly snaps to life and he whirls on his heel, facing the way they came. ]

Let's get out of here. I think I'd rather stand in the heat than spend another second in this place.

...Right. Yeah.

[A hand gently claps to Hector's shoulder for a second as Barrett follows suit to leave the building.]

First the armor, now this... [A shaking exhale.] What's going on with this place???

[He doesn't bother saying anything else until the two of them are back out into the heat, clear of the shimmering shine of the glass.]

You really saw it, then? What... what happened with Lily?

[ Hector would never think of the heat as a relief, but it kind of is.

The dark was oppressive, in the end. Seeing himself from all angles is going to haunt him for a little while to come. But the tension leaves his shoulders as he lets the light wash away the imagery. ]

...I did.

[ He looks up at Misteaks—Barrett, sympathy in his eyes. ]

I'm so sorry. I know I shouldn't have...said anything, really. [ A beat. ] It was personal.

...I know. It's okay. It's not like it was your fault. I'm glad you didn't just hold onto that.

[God forbid a stranger have to let that hurt fester like it did with his family.]

I should be apologizing to you, though. I really didn't believe you at first... that wasn't fair to you.

[ If there's one thing he's good at, it's compartmentalizing these things, squaring them away and pretending they don't exist. It's not like the image of the little girl being taken away in an ambulance won't haunt him later, or anything. ]

No. You had every right not to believe me. Seeing personal memories in a video game shouldn't be possible.

[ His eyes dart to look at the building again, the sympathy in them clouding over. He doesn't like that... ]

It shouldn't. [A shaky exhale.] It really shouldn't. But I'm still sorry.

[He wrings one hand against the other, watching Hector's gaze focus with distaste at the building behind them.]

Would you tell me more about her? Demet, I mean. What kind of person she was.

[ Hector stiffens a bit, holding his breath. He's tense—from the encounter, the sudden whiplash of old memories and old wounds. In all honesty, he doesn't want to talk about her. He's angry that the game won't let her memory rest. He's angry that someone in CC Corp decided it'd be a fun idea to program these scenes in. And for what? Why?

But not answering feels a little unfair to Misteaks. ]

...She was a good person. [ He still doesn't look at him, though. ] Better than I could ever be.

That much I figured. You felt really fond of her. [His chuckle is light.]

I just didn't really get to see her at all. What she looked like, how she acted. What sort of weird things she did that made her special to you.

[It's a lot to ask, though. So he puts up a hand to wave it off gently.]

...Those are the kind of things I like to remember about Lily. I always wonder if, maybe, it can help things not... hurt so bad, when certain dates come up.

[It doesn't always work. Sometimes it spirals into guilt. But it's nicer, in the moment, to remember the good.]

[ Hector drops his gaze at that. It's been more than ten years at this point; sometimes, he can't remember what she sounded like, what her laugh was like. But some days, he'll get a whiff of her shampoo on the wind and it hurts all over again.

He doesn't want to talk about her. When Misteaks moves on to Lily, he quickly bottles that all up while he's not looking, locks it tight, buries it deep. Where Demet's memories belong, lest he forget the smell of her shampoo.

His eyes turn to Misteaks, and the rest of his body follows. The sympathy is back. There's a little smile on his lips, partially forced, barely there. ]

You should tell me the weirdest thing Lily ever did. She seemed like a fun kid.

[He watches that gaze fall away, how distant it looks when Hector finally looks back at him. He stays silent, an apologetic pain to his eyes. A line's been crossed, and he can't really take it back.

Talking about Lily... he could do that.]

...She was really stubborn. One time, she saw my brother Matthew bragging about how many push-ups he could do, and she got all red and yelled at him until he did push-ups with her, just so she could try and be as good as him.

She was so little that she couldn't really do it, you know? [Toddler age and all that, just starting to grow into her limbs.] But she'd prop herself on her elbows and wiggle up and down the best she could until she was all red... and any time Matt would try to get her to stop, she's just call him a chicken. [He chuckles brightly.] Which would just make him mad.

So he would get all worked up and try to do push-ups faster, but he was-- geeze, twelve, maybe? Thirteen? Trying to out-do this little girl that was just laughing at him and having fun.

They just did that until they both got exhausted, and she insisted all the time that she won. We have pictures of them on the floor. They look like tomatoes.

[ Hector listens quietly, the tension in his smile evaporating as Misteaks tells the story.

Kids are so pure. He chuckles a bit at mention of the ages, picturing the brief moment of happiness the boy's family shared. No one can take things like that away from them—those memories are precious, and untouched. ]

She sounded like a powerhouse. Whole family wrapped around her finger. [ His smile grows wider and he shifts his weight. He's relaxed now, not having to think about himself. ]

I'm glad you have pictures. Things like that are precious.

...Yeah. She could have run the whole country someday if she wanted, I'm sure.

[Being the only girl surrounded by a ton of boys would do that, he thinks. They all adored her. She would have had the world in her hands.

...]

I don't think many of us would have bothered at the time. But Aiden, the brother right before me? He was always taking pictures of everything so he could show them off to friends later. And he loved showing Lilith off.

So most of what we have now of Lily... I think he's a big part of that.

[ Hector believes it. His mind starts leaping at what-ifs, but he knows that's a dangerous path to go down. Maybe not for him, personally, in this situation—no. But in general. So he shoves those aside.

He reaches to clap a hand on Misteaks's arm and gives him a little shake. It's a gesture of comfort more than anything. ]

You should thank Aiden next time you talk to him. It might've been a little thing at the time, but that's irreplaceable now.

[ Because, well... Maybe that's a talk he'll have with Misteaks one day, maybe not. If Hector refuses to talk about his sister, then... ]

I know wherever she is now, she knows you still love her.

...

[This is where he goes quiet - less out of pain and more something else. A reminder, something that eases his expression even if he doesn't speak up right away.

Lily still loved him.]

...

Same with yours. If now is anything close to what I felt...

I think Demet knows for you, too. Wherever she is.

[ Hector keeps his eyes on Misteaks for a little while, his expression sobering.

He never thought of her watching over him. It always toed too dangerously close to his delusions and hallucinations that, once they stopped, he never bothered entertaining the idea.

Who knows where she is. She could've run away. She might be dead. He'll never know.

But...the look on Misteaks's face tells him that it's not worth arguing. Take the sentiment and go. ]

Yeah.

[ His eyes drop to the side, contemplative. ]

...Thanks.

[He hums a gentle affirmative, before a hand goes to clap against Hector's shoulder.]

I know a good stand nearby with slushies the size of your head. I think that's probably better than this heat.

You want to come get one?

[ Hector smiles a little at the clap. Misteaks—Barrett is a good kid. He doesn't deserve this trauma.

He steps back and gestures with a sweeping motion back towards the fair, glimpses of a more genuine Hector quickly boarded up and blocked from view. ]

Of course. After you.

[ Maybe things can be more light-hearted from now on. ]

[Closed] misteaks' mistakes (catchall)

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