![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
Entry tags:
August Catch All
Who • Vogel (Emil Sinclair) and YOU
What • Catch all for August - any dungeon runs, misc. stuff happens here. I'll toss up open TL from now and then that don't fit with event posts.
When •All Throughout August
Where • Mac Anu and Lumina Cloth.
Content Warnings • none, will add if any pop up later
What • Catch all for August - any dungeon runs, misc. stuff happens here. I'll toss up open TL from now and then that don't fit with event posts.
When •All Throughout August
Where • Mac Anu and Lumina Cloth.
Content Warnings • none, will add if any pop up later
no subject
... After my injury, I lost the capacity to want most things. The desire to research is one of them. And... I might not be able to, anyway, if that man really did orchestrate my accident.
( By his own will? On orders? Mithrun won't know until he meets him again. But they probably don't want to risk him picking up his previous research, if that was indeed their goal with the accident. )
... I think I was supposed to die that night. But I think he left me alive on a whim.
( Or maybe it was just carelessness, that he didn't make sure he set up a more certain death for Mithrun. Either way, he did later learn Mithrun's alive, if damaged in function. At any time, the whim that allows Mithrun to remain alive can change. )
My parents put me in an apartment overlooking a beach. Before the beta, I would mostly just sit by the window and watch the people on it.
( There are only so many leads you can get at a time, unfortunately, and a lot of leads he can't pursue right now without garnering the wrong sort of attention when he was in a state of being unable to fight back. So, a lot of dead time. )
no subject
[There's a little disbelieving note in Sinclair's voice, and his hands tighten on his weapon. Mistakes or not, Mithrun was still their son. But he remembers the anger of the younger Morgan in his memory, the bitterness, the knowledge he was being used instead of--
Sinclair bites his lip and shakes his head, glancing over at Mithrun with a frown]
...is it really that you've lost the capacity? [Mithrun was still here. Moving. Doing something?] Or because you just hadn't felt like anything in a long time?
[A small beat, a little lighter]
My company wouldn't care about that, probably. If you wanted to join them.
no subject
( All alone, save for when his carer can pop in to make him meals and handle other tasks Mithrun can't - but the guy's not live-in, or anything. Which probably explains why Mithrun can devote so much time to something like figuring out Area keywords and testing the walls in Root Towns. )
They don't really like people seeing their damaged children. And my condition is complex and difficult. They don't really like seeing it or thinking about it, when it comes to either me or my brother.
( And where is his brother, why isn't he with Mithrun? Well. The first few lines Sinclair saw inscribed on Mithrun's claymore probably answer that.
"Is it really that you've lost the capacity?"
This question gives him pause, but only briefly. Of course he's lost all that he desired before. He can feel it more acutely than anything else. But - it's true that his phrasing was that he's lost the capacity for desire. Surely, this must be as true as the fact that he's lost desire for all that came before. )
... Your company?
( He puts a pin in Sinclair's question to ask one of his own. )
no subject
I wasn't lying. Limbus Company is a tech company, and they are small. But the specialty depends on the department you're in...I'm a 'clerk' in that I handle the low level stuff. Retrieval of old, historical artefacts. Finding missing persons...dead or alive... [Pause, he can't say much more without breaking NDA] There's a lot of talented people there.
no subject
That certainly doesn't sound like a company entirely above board in all ways. It seems they've both gotten themselves up to trouble the last several years. )
... Do you enjoy it?
( He might have asked something like this before, but now he knows a little more. There are maybe more pertinent questions, but ones he presumes the answers to are technical and irrelevant. He doesn't have the desire to know every detail. )
no subject
[Sinclair blinks and then looks down at his hands]
Some days are really hard. [Like how they had lost Yuri to that cave in] Some days, I wonder why I'm even there...but then sometimes, it feels like it's worth it.
[He goes a little unfocused as he thinks]
I think the people I work with are strong, talented people. I admire them. Some of them are really nice too. Rodya's always sharing her snacks with me, Don always makes sure we have at least one game of chess a week, even if she keeps cheating.
no subject
... It sounds like you like there.
( Even though it's hard, even if he's sometimes unsure - even if he's doing some shady things. He doesn't sound anything like he sounds when talking of Kromer, and other things that give Sinclair anxiety, like Mithrun hurting himself. So, by Sinclair standards, this must be good. )
... Does your position only cover finding missing persons?
( In other words - can you find just about anyone via whatever method, or only those who are missing and whose files, etc, you are given direct access to? It's apparent Mithrun's perception as to whether this company might be a good "fit" for him relates purely to whether it will help him track down persons related to the professor, if not the professor himself. )
no subject
[He looks at Mithrun, and understanding dawns on him. Only missing persons...?]
...I think...it would depend. Sometimes to find those missing persons, we need to find people connected to them.
[He's naive, not stupid. He knows what Mithrun wants. It sparks something in him too. A realisation--he's not entirely defenseless here]
But I don't have the authority to ask for any searches to be done. It's with the leadership.
no subject
But it sounds like those systems exist. )
And what are they after?
( Money? Power? Knowledge...? It might be the lattermost option, with that mention of artifacts, but many organizations are after as many different things as there are desires; the more niche, the more particular their aspirations.
But it certainly sounds like Sinclair has Mithrun's interest. When they're on the topic of revenge, or anything directly adjacent to it, his gaze is clear the way it normally isn't, and he seems strikingly alert; not alert in the way he is when fighting in Fragment, but alert like a predator fixed to kill. )
no subject
[Both because Sinclair can't, and because he doesn't know. There's a lot he's not privy too, but as long as the things he collects, the photos he stares at full of corpses and clues go on then...he can keep going. He's not oblivious to the change in Mithrun's expression and he pauses for a moment before saying:]
...you look different, like this.
no subject
I want to kill him.
( The answer comes crisp. )
If they let me find who I need, I'll research for them. ( Or anything they ask for, really. ) Whatever they want.
( It's a shame no one suggested Sinclair just kill Kromer earlier, if he had access to this resource already - then again, if someone had, Mithrun would not have this opportunity. Maybe it's for the best, then, that Sinclair languished up until now. )
no subject
No capacity for desire...? Was that really what it was?
There was something there.
He frowns a little]
...I can ask them but...I don't want them using you like that either.
[It'd eat Sinclair alive knowing his own company would treat Mithrun the way Sarabi and his own family had. Even if Mithrun was a proper adult, who was able to make his own decisions and saw clearer about a lot of things than anyone...
He doesn't want that for him. Not even if it meant killing Kromer]
no subject
( As long as he gets revenge, it doesn't matter what happens to him. )
You can use me too, if you want. Killing him will probably lead to my death. Who used me and for what won't matter much when that happens.
( And this is why he was very clear to Sinclair when he warned him that he might die in his attempt to kill Kromer - not just because the risk is real, because it is, but because it's at the forefront of Mithrun's mind. He's pursuing his professor with the intent to kill, at any cost; not to survive.
For him, obtaining freedom doesn't mean he needs to live. In fact, maybe he'll only be free from these feelings if he dies after his professor, too, is dead. )
no subject
Those words pull Sinclair up short. He had...guessed, maybe. Tried to prepare himself for it. But it's one thing to know that maybe, this is a suicidal task, it's another thing to know Mithrun was throwing himself in it without a second glance back]
...I mind.
[He's trembling again, but this time with anger. His eyes might be hot with tears again, but they're angry tears this time]
How does that make me any better than her if I just used you--and then let you die. Like that. In a roundabout way, doesn't that mean he wins too?
no subject
He didn't really know why he said that then - agreeing to what Sinclair said about trying to take care of himself for other people. He didn't really want to. He guesses it just - he doesn't know. He isn't sure. But Sinclair's anger now reminds him a little of Yael's anger, too.
"I mind." Mithrun considers, if only for a moment, that he doesn't really think much about others, does he, or what they want.
He's quiet. )
... After you kill her...
( He says it, like it'll be a definitive thing. )
... What do you want to do?
( He can't imagine a life after killing him. But Sinclair sees something for himself. And maybe he's upset because he sees something for Mithrun, too. )
no subject
I'm not sure yet. But...I think I'd like to see the world. Travel. [Most of his family's money was tied up in other things, things he never wanted to touch. But a portion of that was entirely his. It'd be enough] I probably wont be allowed, of course. But...that's what I want.
[He's been living in a cage of everyone else's making for so long. Is it a bad thing to want to unlock that?]
Maybe I'll write something. I've always liked reading.
no subject
Mithrun listens. Those are such mundane things. They're so quiet and uneventful compared to some of the hell they've been through he'd never once pictured doing them, not in a million years.
He casts a gaze toward a distant windmill, overgrown with vines. )
... What do you like to read?
no subject
Fantasy novels, mostly. [That's always been a childhood favourite of his, something to cling to when times got dark] Rereading the novels I grew up with like Siddhartha and...
[The latter all in German of course. Sinclair couldn't imagine reading it any other way. He studies the distant windmill with Mithrun. If Mithrun lets him, he'll go through his list, trying to pick out anything that might interest him too]
no subject
At the tailend of that, he has a recommendation of his own: )
... Have you ever read Flowers for Algernon?
( A famous science fiction book about an experiment that massively increased the intelligence of a mouse, named Algernon. They try the same thing on a human with low intelligence, and he becomes a super genius - but Algernon's intellect then wanes, and so does the man's. Algernon dies, but the man is subject to pity and derision from his peers, who never respected him, but now they see how he is haunted by his loss, knowing acutely what it was to have and now knowing what it is to be without, and find him even sorrier than before. At the end of the story, the man "goes away," asking that someone leave flowers for Algernon in his stead.
It might be apparent, if Sinclair's read it, which part of the story Mithrun identifies with - the feeling of loss, the consequent isolation from peers; and, maybe, the need to leave. It might thus be apparent why maybe Sinclair's recs might be better for him because he only ruminates on the gravest of subjects all the time in his head, jeez. )
It's different than some of the stories you've recommended. It's also in English. Though, I guess it's been awhile since I practiced any other languages...
no subject
All of Sinclair's favourites are filled with hope. A general sense of warmth, love for humanity, the desire for people to do better. Even after everything, it sparked.
He nods]
...most of mine are too. 'Flowers for Algernon'? I'll have to read it and tell you what I think.
no subject
What's interesting about Sinclair is that he does radiate a desire to hope. Mithrun's disposition is due to his condition, but he doesn't think he'd be so oriented toward love even if he hadn't gotten his injury - he can only see himself as someone who would've come out even more bitter and violent than before.
He nods. Feel free to let him know. )
... I think you should write that story.
( Sinclair's clearly very passionate about reading. He wouldn't write a bad one, probably. )
no subject
Yet, he was here, helping Sinclair in his own way.]
...thank you. I'll try.
[He nods, and then turns to the first set of monsters crawling out from the windmill.
If Kromer didn't -----
If he didn't lose himself trying to -----
Maybe if his work didn't eat him alive.
Maybe he can write something that's a little happier than what they have now]
no subject
Mithrun is calm. Once Sinclair dives in first (being that they're here for him, and being that Mithrun distantly remembers that Sinclair wants to tank the damage), he'll jump up off a boulder and follow up Sinclair's opening with Koranshuu - a broad, relentless sweep of his sword, slicing through as many Cadets as he can manage. )
no subject
Not this time.
The Cadet Valkyries spark something in him and it's only after Mithrun sweeps through many of them, Sinclair charges in, driving his spear viciously through a Cadet Valkyrie too slow to move out of the way. There's anger in his movements, wrath unchecked
It doesn't feel good.
But it does feel a little bit better]
no subject
Just as the number of Cadet Harpies starts to thin, though, from the forest encroaching from behind the windmill shoots out some dozen black blurs - Wood Harpies come together, a second wave before the first had even done. They descend upon the two of them while they're working at the weaker forerunners, swooping down with fierce claws and high-pitched laughter. Mithrun narrows his eyes, and combos into a Koranshuu again - but it's his only AoE, and he can only use it so many times off CD between his ST attacks. )
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)