(Catch all) Ominous October Threads

[insinning]

Who: Sinclair and You.
What: Dungeon runs, trauma bonding etc
When: All throughout October.
Warnings: Gore, Emeto, Psychological horror in one thread, NSFW stuff in another

“I see now that the path I choose through the maze makes me what I am. I am not only a thing, but also a way of being—one of many ways—and knowing the paths I have followed and the ones left to take will help me understand what I am becoming.”

Comments

[insinning]

[He draws in a shuddery breath and nods. The roughness of that hand grounds him; not familiar in touch at all but familiar in that the gesture was so quintessentially Mithrun that it put him at ease. He drops his hands, and focuses on the garden, the faint scent of flowers wafting in the wind. He opens his mouth to demur, that he needed to say it but stops abruptly and shakes head. He understands Mithrun's kindness in this...]

...okay. Okay. [He repeats it again, and finally his fingers uncurl from his book.]

Michel got injured protecting me around then. And that's when I knew what I had done was wrong.

[A small smile, sad and faint. He hasn't quite let go; but he's made the resolution to not chase revenge blindly either]

...I wont forgive her. But, I can't throw everything away for revenge. It'll destroy everyone around me first.

[tablescraps]

( He lets Sinclair finish. He listens. He thinks... he understands Michel's approach a little better, whether or not it was influenced by Gorre then. Destroy everyone around him... he can't find himself arguing. It's not that he never thought that was true, either; it's just that he never cared, before, and didn't have anyone he was close to. But now... things were different and strange.

He lets his hand fall, and it rests on the bench for a time. )

... Sorry. For the things I said last time we were at the training ground... with me as myself.

( The whole Kromer bodysnatching thing, )

[insinning]

[Oh.

He looks at Mithrun in surprise, a strange tangle of feelings tugging in him. But his expression softens, and he nods, reaching out to touch Mithrun's hand. Is this where he says 'thank you'? No one has ever apologised to him for something like this before, maybe because he's always accepted it. It's an odd feeling to know he actually wanted to hear it, to know he was more than just a tool for Mithrun's revenge]

...I forgave you awhile back...but thank you all the same. [It seems so long ago now, but it's been a mere few weeks]

[tablescraps]

( Was forgiveness that easy? Mithrun seems surprised. He never forgives ever, and he doesn't expect it in return. His gaze hesitates on Sinclair's expression, then falls to their hands. )

... You don't have to forgive me.

( He didn't think he'd get forgiveness. He had expected the conversation to be awkward, not graceful. He doesn't know if this means Sinclair's grown, or... if maybe he was always this way.

He might've been. His heart always was more tender.

Mithrun squeezes his hand, gentle. If Sinclair will forgive him, he'll accept it. )

... But I thought I should say something. You left me that note.

( The one at the back of the book Sinclair had given him.

Mithrun, for most of his life, hasn't known family as any close or positive thing. But for that briefest moment Cael had returned to him, and he had seen how mindfully Cael cared for him despite their history, he considered... it could maybe be something worthwhile, rather than just a burden. And he knows family means no small thing to Sinclair - even, Mithrun thinks, with his memories altered.

He isn't really sure if he had a name for this relationship he had with Sinclair; it was something affected by a filter of anger toward the professor, on Mithrun's end. But, with that filter removed - after everything... did Sinclair's sentiment still hold? )

[insinning]

[ Sinclair had grown up in a household of warmth and love; for better or worse, his family ensured he would never have to see the ugly side of their business because they ultimately wanted him to grow up happy. Even with every trace of those times erased and nothing but bloody remnants to remember them by, that love had left an indelible mark on his heart, the core of who he was without the anxieties, fears and untamed anger.

It only stood to reason, his warm affection would persist even now]

...you did?

[ There's an ache in his chest; he knew Mithrun had read his book, but he knew he hadn't written that note before]

[tablescraps]

( He nods. )

... You asked if it was okay if you considered me family. And if we could take photos together, when we leave here.

( A beat, but— )

... It is okay. And... I do want to. If that's fine with you.

[insinning]

[ Sinclair ducks his head, squeezes Mithrun's hand a little tighter. Everything feels like a lot right now.]

...it is. It makes me really happy.

[tablescraps]

( That's... a good face, he thinks. Better than the look of heartbreak Macha had been so obsessed with. )

... Me, too.

( Which is strange, for him. But... a good strange. A warm strange. )

... Thanks. For not giving up on me. ( Even though... Sinclair probably would've been better off giving up on him, even before the Macha thing. ) I'll make sure... you and the people you like get out. We could get... a big group picture, after this.

( The rest of Sinclair's CR (like, half the game) may not be Mithrun's blorbos, but they are his blorbo-in-laws by virtue of them being Sinclair's. He doesn't care for them personally, but they gotta live so Sinclair is happy. Them's the breaks. )

[insinning]

[ Sinclair doesn't know how to give up on people; but Mithrun always had a place in his heart no matter what. He smiles, practically glowing at the thought]

... yeah. I'd like that. It's something nice to aim for. Thanks...for coming back. I was so glad...

[ He had believed Mithrun had still been in there, buried under everything. But he had been scared too]