[closed] meanwhile, at telophoroi tower...

[trollophoroi]

WHO >> The Telophoroi guild and their +1s.
WHAT >> A dinner party that will surely be calm and enjoyable for all involved.
WHEN >> 9/15, evening.
WHERE >> Telophoroi @ home.
Content Warnings >> May make you hungry, more added if needed.

ARRIVAL

[ Welcome! Welcome to the Telophoroi Tower, as the guild leader likes to call it, even though only the interior itself will give that impression. It is, after all, instanced like every other guild @ home. The interior is... curious... at best. It's ominous, not even a little bit friendly-looking, all sharp corners and metal floors and walls. Metallic alien-like tubes curl around the walls and the pillars, crisscrossing the high ceilings, and creeping along the edges of walls; it could easily be a dungeon interior, provided it had actual monsters inside.

Greeting the guild members and guests alike is the Guild Grunty with a bowlcut and, just for tonight, a purple butler's outfit instead of its usual cultist robes. It still wiggles its hooves at people as they enter, though, as proclaims, ]

OoOoOo! Welcome... to your doom! [ Wait, that isn't right. It visibly sweats for a second during a pause, then remembers to add, ] And your dinner! Yes, and your dinner, hehehe~

[ It will also offer to take coats if needed, then lead them to the meeting room (now masquerading as a dining room); it's only slightly less intimidating than the rest of the tower and that's only because the lighting is nice, candles have been added, there's some very low classical music playing somewhere in the background, but it is still definitely part of the tower with the table being wicked metal with thinner imprints of those alien-like pipes running wild in the design, and the chairs are massive metal thrones, difficult to move, although green and purple cushions have been added to offer some comfort.

They will also find that there are, in fact, assigned seats.



There are some little Coronation Chicken Pies and Blue Cheese and Pear Appetizers for snacking while they wait as well as Cultist Grunty offering to pour them either champagne or, if they aren't interested in alcohol, some sparkling lemonade.

If asked about where the guild's leader, Fandaniel, is, Cultist Grunty will assure them that he's only putting the finishing touches on tonight's meal and will be with them shortly. ]

IT'S TIME TO EAT

[ And after about a half hour of arrival, the lights of the room... flicker, flicker, and then shut off, plunging the party into pitch darkness. Even the candles go out, though only long enough for people to exclaim or react.

When they come back on, Fandaniel, dressed up in his own butler skin (although it doubles quite well as merely looking fancily dressed), has made his appearance at the head of the table, where his seat had been left empty right up until now. He's standing, arms spread out wide, a grin on his face, and the starter course set out on little plates before them. ]

Hello! Hello, my dear friends. I am so glad that you could all join me for our little dinner party. I do hope you have been enjoying yourselves thus far. Now! [ And lowers his arms so that he can clap them together upon saying that word. ] Let me introduce you to our meal for the evening.

[ And he'll go over what they'll be having tonight! The menu is as follows:

Starter Course: Hot Tofu, a simple dish of tofu and dashi kombu with a little bowl of sauce to pour over it.

1st Course: Chawanmushi with Matsutake Mushroom, a savory egg custard flavored with dashi stock, soy sauce, and mirin, steamed in a cup.

2nd Course: Unadon, grilled eel brushed with sweet and savory unagi sauce and served atop a bed of rice.

3rd Course: Shoyu Ramen, made with a flavorful pork-bone broth with wavy noodles and topped with bamboo shoots, meltingly tender pork belly, and thin-sliced green onion.

4th Course: Tempura Vegetables, sweet potatoes, mushrooms, Kabocha squash, lotus roots, and eggplant deep-fried in a crispy, crunchy tempura batter served alongside a dipping sauce.

And every time a course is finished, the lights will, once again, go off and, when they come back on, the course will be swapped out. It's quite a bit of showmanship, but only possible thanks to Cultist Grunty changing up the room's configuration on the fly as well as the timing it had worked out with Fandaniel. Still! It offers a very mysterious bit of ambiance to the meal. ]

Bit of a Beastly Dessert, Isn't It?

[ Then comes the last course, the dessert course. Once again, the lights go off, they come back on, all the dishes are cleared and new plates and utensils sit before them all. There's more on the platters set across the table but each dish has a serving of sweet potato pie, done in the Japanese style, which is a far cry from what more Western types may expect from a pie like that. It's a flaky pastry, nice and sweet, but not overly so.

Cultist Grunty goes about a glass of a dark dessert wine for all. This time, there is no alternative, but seeing as dessert wines are meant to be savored in a small amount, those who want less will certainly get less. The reason why they're insisting everyone has wine will be apparent soon enough when Fandaniel raises his glass to offer a toast to them. ]

And this is where we end the night, I fear! Our last course, our dessert. Fai was kind enough to lend a hand in the kitchen with it. I would also like to thank him and Hien both for making the little treats we had before the dinner began. They were quite good, were they not? Ah, and, of course! [ He'll nod towards Cultist Grunty in his cute little tuxedo. ] Our dear Cultist Grunty has been an infinite source of aid during the past two days in getting this all set up. He handled all those little light tricks and all the dish swaps.

[ And then to the rest of the party. ]

And to the rest of you, for better or worse... [ At this point, probably worse, let's be real here. ] We've been having an interesting time in this game but I am glad you all took the time to humor me and my desire to hold a little dinner party like this. So, to all of you!

[ And that's the cue to drink and... now for the real reason he wanted everyone to drink the wine. See, Fandaniel has laced it with one of the game's potions, only! Only, well, originally the Potion of Fang and Claw, which should have given them nothing more than some cute animal ears and tails, ends up doing something wildly different.

Everyone who drinks the wine will find themselves turned completely into an animal.

Glasses will tumble to the floor, breaking and spilling wine everywhere. Armor and clothing will pop off as items, unequipped, as they no longer fit their bodies. Surprise! Enjoy spending the next 24 hours as a talking animal! ]

Comments

[selfconcept]

[ Birds eat pies, is a question that Hien immediately thinks of when he's asked, but he supposes it doesn't matter here. He reaches out to grab the plate with the slice of pie in it and holds it to Matobird. ]

I thought you couldn't taste?

[worldbent]

I couldn't.

[But what if he can, now! He leans his body to peck at the plate, snatching a crumb of pastry and trying to break it down with his beak. How do you eat without teeth?? Weird...]

[Hmmm.]

...No, I still can't. [How disappointing. He pecks at another corner of the pie, anyway.]

[selfconcept]

[ Oh... to eat food without being able to taste. Hien kinda gets it, since he can't smell anything now either, so it took a portion of his taste away too. ]

... Do you want me to mash it up to make the chunks smaller?

[worldbent]

Oh, I don't know if it's worth wasting all of this pie that I can't taste....

[Is the bird sulking? He might be sulking a little. He pecks at another flake of pastry. At least a sweet potato pie was soft enough that it wasn't too difficult to eat in this form...]

[Too bad it didn't seem like you could put food like this into your inventory for later. It'd be nice to save it and try to eat it later...]

Is it at least good? [He pecks a little more at it.]

[selfconcept]

... I can taste a bit of it. It's sweet, but not overwhelming.

[ Poor Matobird. Hien can tell that he's sulking, so he makes a mental note to attempt a sweet potato pie another time when his taste buds aren't as messed up... if he doesn't forget, anyway. ]

No one else will eat this portion of the pie, so don't worry about it.

[worldbent]

As a sweet potato pastry ought to be. [Matoba bobs his birdy head in a nod, approving. Fandaniel hadn't lied; he was a pretty good cook!]

[And it had been a nice, traditional menu. Just what Matoba likes.]

[Oh, well. Perhaps a future dinner, or another festival, or something...]

... By the way, Hien-san, you mentioned that you didn't know these animals were modeled into the game. [His head cocks and tilts again.] I was under the impression that new objects were simply drawn from our imaginations, as with new foods. Is that not the case...?

[selfconcept]

[ Hien looks at Matoba for a moment. ]

... Are you saying that I'm so uncreative that I can't even imagine a cat?

[ Because Hien only gave out dogs for the food quest. That was all he had to work with at the time. ]

[worldbent]

[Matoba's beak clicks. Good thing Hien can't tell that he's grinning like a bastard on the inside.]

No; [Though he doesn't necessarily think Hien is super creative either, BUT--] I am asking where you managed to get the shirokuma ice from, actually.

[Does that mean that someone in the dev team had already programmed it in...?]

[selfconcept]

[ ... What does that beak clicking mean--he doesn't like it. ]

Assets for cooking and animals are differently coded. The food quest was to test how far players could get creative with what was available to them. They could piece together materials that could act as substitutes for real ingredients and still come out with a very similar result that they expect. It's mostly the reason why any food that isn't a game recipe is simply just food--no healing effects or otherwise.

You can't do the same with animals.

[worldbent]

So you at Cc Corp have coded live, physics-compliant chemical reactions.

[That's not just something you can handwave away, Hien!!]

[His beak clicks again.]

And, why not? Aren't the animals just something like a model replacement that our bodyparts and the connections to our nervous system are remapped to?

....Neither of these things are exactly simple.........

[selfconcept]

... I can't explain that.

[ Not because he's not allowed to tell, but-- ]

Because I don't know how that stuff works.

[worldbent]

Haha, no, I suppose you wouldn't........

[Beak click. Cute himbo.]

[He's gonna just delicately lean down and nibble at a piece of pie again........]

[selfconcept]

[ At least Hien has an excuse of not knowing. Most himbos had education.

He looks at the glass of wine. It will probably punch him again if he tries to inspect it, but maybe if he drinks it, he can try to inspect cause and effect values? Whatever they might be.

So Hien downs the glass of wine and promptly turns into a red panda.

...

He cannot inspect the elements, but at least he's no longer getting punched? But he's a red panda now.

...

He had this all calculated, but apparently, he's bad at math. ]

[worldbent]

[Matoba, who was perched on Hien, suddenly finds himself on the table, instead.]

[It takes him a few moments of blinking about before he sees the little red gremlin left in Hien's chair........]

[His beak clicks again.]

Were you feeling left out? [No hiding the amusement in that tone. He steps over to the edge of the table, peering down at him.]

[selfconcept]

[ Hien looks up at Matoba and hops onto the table next to him.

Then proceeds to smack his face with his tail. ]

[worldbent]

[SQUAWK]

[Matoba hops away with a ruffled flap of his wings, then snaps his beak at Hien's stupid tail. But it's just all fur!! There's too much damn fur!!]

Don't take it out on me, what on earth did you go and drink that for??

[selfconcept]

I thought I could analyze the effects once I got turned into one...

[ He's not going to inspect anyone else, thanks. ]

[worldbent]

[Wdym Hien? Go ahead. Inspect him. :)]

[Have you ever seen a bird sigh? Matoba's eyes slowly close and open again, then he starts preening himself. Ugh, fur on his feathers.]

And? Can you?

[selfconcept]

I can't.

[ Yeah. He's your idiot now, Matoba. Congratulations.

he's not inspecting u!!!!!!!!! ]

[worldbent]

[Wow, you'll fuck a man but you won't even inspect him, Hien? Coward.]

[Matoba's head- his whole body, really, but mostly his head sway side to side in a very obvious smh, returning to preening.]

Well, now what? [Idiot!!] How long do these potions tend to last? A day?

[selfconcept]

Most of them last 24 hours. The timer continues even when you're offline.

[ Small blessings. ]

I don't know the origins of these, but we can assume that they'll also last a day. Why don't you go and do things that you couldn't before because you can fly now?

[worldbent]

Oya? Does it...?

[Now that was a little QOL he didn't expect. Thanks(?), devs.]

Hmh. That is an idea, although I don't have access to any of my equipment or spells... That could be a little dangerous, hm?

[If he gates out, that is. But he ponders, blinking at Hien again.]

I think you're a little too large, but........... [Remember what happened to Bunrun?? He's looking at Hien like that now. His talons stretch, leaning...]

[selfconcept]

[ He knows that exact look. While his first instinct would be to hiss and fight, he looks... strangely placated. Whatever it is, he seems fine with whatever is about to happen. ]

I'm small enough. If you can't lift me, that's a skill issue.

[worldbent]

[Matoba goes very still mid-dive, and you can tell that irritated him.]

[Bitch. With a flap of wings, he goes for Hien's face with his BEAK. HOW'S THIS FOR A SKILL ISSUE??]

[selfconcept]

[ Hien the red panda stands on his hind legs and attempts to smack Matoba down onto the table. He's not having any of it right now!!! ]