( He is, speaking of, scarred up all over - lots of little nicks, cuts, bits missing, nasty sort of gnarls, lashes, things that look like he got caught in a machine(??), or maybe a wild animal(???), or maybe a bullet(?????). It's all just kind of everywhere and weird, from the neck down. One might suspect he got any scars on the face fixed up (or, at least, someone did it for him).
Fortunately for Levi, he disappears into the water easily enough, his face just barely visible over the ledge since he's pretty small. This is nice. A little mechanically, he reaches over for one of his eggs.
[Levi certainly wouldn't question the reason for Mithrun being concerned. He's gotten a good enough idea of how close the two of them are.]
He was on earlier before he came over, but I dunno how much he did. Maybe just his dailies? But he'll probably spend the rest of the night resting for the game tomorrow. That's what he usually does.
[That Levi knows of. Unfortunately, that's not going to be the case tonight.
After finishing off an egg, he returns to the topic of their mutual concern.]
He still had his leg wrap on when he came over, so I'm guessing it's still bothering him. [...he doesn't know Mithrun very well at all, but he feels comfortable admitting to this much considering what Mithrun himself went through:] The whole thing has me freaked out.
( Mithrun doesn't have the desire to out himself as the agent of Barrett's misery this morning, so he doesn't. However, he does frown a little more pointedly when Levi mentions his leg. )
... The disease that's been going around lately. The one that causes people to have trouble with their senses and logging off. It's apparent this game has psychosomatic effects on the body - VR in general does, in respect to other real world cases, like Doll Syndrome - and Barrett's leg may be similar.
He said clinicians didn't find anything wrong with it, right? ... The doctors couldn't find anything wrong with me, either. But there was.
( He just hasn't mentioned it to Barrett, given... )
... I don't know if the stress is worth the price of telling him, though. The fact that it's still affecting him is telling.
[His voice wavers when he reacts to Mithrun's coma having no detectable cause in the real world.
...
He suddenly knocks back the rest of his sake cup. Can the calming effect please just kick in so he doesn't have to deal with more stress? He came here to de-stress!!!]
We...talked about it possibly being a thing. That whatever happened in-game was affecting him IRL. There's a precedent for it and everything. But like, how do you say that to doctors? You don't. We can't.
[Fucking NDA and all that.]
And it's not like they'd believe us even if we could.
( Takes up another egg. He appears to be eating the items in order, rather than enjoying them together as a meal. )
Even if they did believe us, they wouldn't be able to do anything. This technology is too advanced for the age. It shouldn't exist for at least another 40-50 years.
( He says this impassively, despite his concern over Barrett. )
... The safest thing would be not to engage with this technology at all. At best, it's not safe to attach to the human brain, or... At worse, this is all very intentionally being tested by CC Corp, or some other entity, and their aim is not necessarily to make a game.
I-It'd still be better than them thinking we're crazy or something, wouldn't it...?
[At least, that's what Levi wants to tell himself as he shoves another egg in his mouth.
...it does nothing to keep the building dread in the pit of his stomach at bay. Everything Mithrun's saying sounds plausible to him, no matter how wild and conspiratorial it sounds. There's way too much proof that something is deeply wrong with this game to dismiss any theory at this point.
He hates it.
He hates that last part even more.]
Why...do you say that? You're getting better IRL, aren't you...?
Because it's still bothering him, and neither we nor administrators have means to cure effects once they've been triggered on an individual. Until the condition resolves, I wouldn't see it as different than a ticking debuff timer, like the poison that killed me.
( sry for giving you new and advanced levels of anxiety, levi )
... But there's a chance it'll resolve itself without any further change. Like some glitched Area effects that cause a lingering sense of discomfort and nothing more, for example.
Regardless of whether there will be a development, like my case, or if it'll fade, like a glitched Area effect, we won't know until he stops feeling it.
[At first, the only thing that Levi can muster up in the face of Mithrun's logical insight is a pathetic noise of distress.]
Please... [He foregoes pouring a new cup full of sake and just drinks straight from the bottle. At this rate, he's going to be red in the face for a new reason entirely.] Please let it just go away and not turn into something worse...
[He doesn't want to imagine what would happen if it did, and yet his brain forces him to do it anyway. All of the possible horror scenarios play out in his head regardless.]
( Ah. He'd shown Barrett consideration because he liked him, but he hadn't shown Levi the same because he is neutral on him. He watches Levi go, and considers this may be a natural consequence of excess emotion. )
... Regardless of path, I survived. Things pass eventually.
( Falling short of death, nothing was ever really over. There is, of course, the secondary question: is the life you have after you survive worth living?
His coma was fine. He didn't lose anything from it. But his first accident left him in the state he's in. This life is not a life very worthwhile. So Mithrun sends his regards - not a hope, not a prayer; just a feeling sent into a universe, like a drop of color in a liquid mix - in some other way: in the form of sentiment, that Barrett's life remains one he finds worthwhile, even if that "something worse" comes. )
... He always talks fondly of his family. I think he'll be all right as long as you're there for him.
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no subject
[This is, in fact, the second time that he has seen Mithrun naked against his will.]
Haven't you heard of using a towel?!
no subject
( He is, speaking of, scarred up all over - lots of little nicks, cuts, bits missing, nasty sort of gnarls, lashes, things that look like he got caught in a machine(??), or maybe a wild animal(???), or maybe a bullet(?????). It's all just kind of everywhere and weird, from the neck down. One might suspect he got any scars on the face fixed up (or, at least, someone did it for him).
Fortunately for Levi, he disappears into the water easily enough, his face just barely visible over the ledge since he's pretty small. This is nice. A little mechanically, he reaches over for one of his eggs.
Levi really is emotional, huh. )
... Have you talked to Barrett today?
no subject
[Levi grumbles, mostly to himself. But he lets it go pretty quickly, knowing that arguing about this is likely going to lead nowhere.
As Mithrun slips into the water, Levi pours himself another cup full of sake. He peers back over when asked about Barrett.]
Yeah. He came over IRL and played games with me for a while. Why, are you looking for him?
no subject
Though, he guesses by that reaction, Barrett didn't tell him anything about the armor debacle. )
... How was he? He seemed tired when I saw him.
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Still tired, then. But other than that, he seemed fine.
[While they did talk about some things, what happened with Mithrun wasn't one of them.]
...Are you worried about him, too?
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Yes. We're friends. ( Or thereabouts. ) And he has a game tomorrow. He should take today off.
( He doesn't know Barrett will be at the Telophoroi dinner, sadly. )
no subject
[Levi certainly wouldn't question the reason for Mithrun being concerned. He's gotten a good enough idea of how close the two of them are.]
He was on earlier before he came over, but I dunno how much he did. Maybe just his dailies? But he'll probably spend the rest of the night resting for the game tomorrow. That's what he usually does.
[That Levi knows of. Unfortunately, that's not going to be the case tonight.
After finishing off an egg, he returns to the topic of their mutual concern.]
He still had his leg wrap on when he came over, so I'm guessing it's still bothering him. [...he doesn't know Mithrun very well at all, but he feels comfortable admitting to this much considering what Mithrun himself went through:] The whole thing has me freaked out.
no subject
... The disease that's been going around lately. The one that causes people to have trouble with their senses and logging off. It's apparent this game has psychosomatic effects on the body - VR in general does, in respect to other real world cases, like Doll Syndrome - and Barrett's leg may be similar.
He said clinicians didn't find anything wrong with it, right? ... The doctors couldn't find anything wrong with me, either. But there was.
( He just hasn't mentioned it to Barrett, given... )
... I don't know if the stress is worth the price of telling him, though. The fact that it's still affecting him is telling.
no subject
[His voice wavers when he reacts to Mithrun's coma having no detectable cause in the real world.
...
He suddenly knocks back the rest of his sake cup. Can the calming effect please just kick in so he doesn't have to deal with more stress? He came here to de-stress!!!]
We...talked about it possibly being a thing. That whatever happened in-game was affecting him IRL. There's a precedent for it and everything. But like, how do you say that to doctors? You don't. We can't.
[Fucking NDA and all that.]
And it's not like they'd believe us even if we could.
no subject
Even if they did believe us, they wouldn't be able to do anything. This technology is too advanced for the age. It shouldn't exist for at least another 40-50 years.
( He says this impassively, despite his concern over Barrett. )
... The safest thing would be not to engage with this technology at all. At best, it's not safe to attach to the human brain, or... At worse, this is all very intentionally being tested by CC Corp, or some other entity, and their aim is not necessarily to make a game.
( hashtag shoka was right )
Quitting now may not help Barrett, though.
no subject
[At least, that's what Levi wants to tell himself as he shoves another egg in his mouth.
...it does nothing to keep the building dread in the pit of his stomach at bay. Everything Mithrun's saying sounds plausible to him, no matter how wild and conspiratorial it sounds. There's way too much proof that something is deeply wrong with this game to dismiss any theory at this point.
He hates it.
He hates that last part even more.]
Why...do you say that? You're getting better IRL, aren't you...?
no subject
( sry for giving you new and advanced levels of anxiety, levi )
... But there's a chance it'll resolve itself without any further change. Like some glitched Area effects that cause a lingering sense of discomfort and nothing more, for example.
Regardless of whether there will be a development, like my case, or if it'll fade, like a glitched Area effect, we won't know until he stops feeling it.
no subject
Please... [He foregoes pouring a new cup full of sake and just drinks straight from the bottle. At this rate, he's going to be red in the face for a new reason entirely.] Please let it just go away and not turn into something worse...
[He doesn't want to imagine what would happen if it did, and yet his brain forces him to do it anyway. All of the possible horror scenarios play out in his head regardless.]
no subject
... Regardless of path, I survived. Things pass eventually.
( Falling short of death, nothing was ever really over. There is, of course, the secondary question: is the life you have after you survive worth living?
His coma was fine. He didn't lose anything from it. But his first accident left him in the state he's in. This life is not a life very worthwhile. So Mithrun sends his regards - not a hope, not a prayer; just a feeling sent into a universe, like a drop of color in a liquid mix - in some other way: in the form of sentiment, that Barrett's life remains one he finds worthwhile, even if that "something worse" comes. )
... He always talks fondly of his family. I think he'll be all right as long as you're there for him.