[ "Let go then," Are the words that begin to surface, acid on his tongue, recalling the singular room still where someone told him that...'hatred made for a wonderful way to pass time.'
But, he just said he'd never hold any resentment towards Hani for it. It isn't their fault that the world had—has—putrid people in it. Still, there will always be anger in his heart, whether he's conscious of it or not.
He wonders what, in that case, would that mean for his true result? Falling into those waters to become an eternally bitter leviathan waiting at the bottom of an ocean? ]
...Why is it so different now? Do you know the answer to that?
[ He closes his eyes for a moment, feeling on some strangely new stage that he has been assuming has already been reached. But, perhaps that never has been the case. ]
As it is, I don't know how to share those things with anyone. I never learned how.
But, I can tell you it's due to those bastards. They upturned everything ... I couldn't do anything. By the end of it, what else was I supposed to do?
I hated it...I hate the idea of being so weak. Of being nothing but a burden after I escaped. I could never change the past, but I could change the present by how I acted. About how it no longer bothered me. And still...!
[ And yet, all this time, that wasn't true at all. Even if he acts like everything is fine, he can't deny there are days where he feels as if time has stopped. Where there's an anger that sits deeper in his heart, that turns both inwards and outward. Where when he gazes into a mirror, he sees that man's eyes staring back at him. ]
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[ "Let go then," Are the words that begin to surface, acid on his tongue, recalling the singular room still where someone told him that...'hatred made for a wonderful way to pass time.'
But, he just said he'd never hold any resentment towards Hani for it. It isn't their fault that the world had—has—putrid people in it. Still, there will always be anger in his heart, whether he's conscious of it or not.
He wonders what, in that case, would that mean for his true result? Falling into those waters to become an eternally bitter leviathan waiting at the bottom of an ocean? ]
...Why is it so different now? Do you know the answer to that?
[ He closes his eyes for a moment, feeling on some strangely new stage that he has been assuming has already been reached. But, perhaps that never has been the case. ]
As it is, I don't know how to share those things with anyone. I never learned how.
But, I can tell you it's due to those bastards. They upturned everything ... I couldn't do anything. By the end of it, what else was I supposed to do?
I hated it...I hate the idea of being so weak. Of being nothing but a burden after I escaped. I could never change the past, but I could change the present by how I acted. About how it no longer bothered me. And still...!
[ And yet, all this time, that wasn't true at all. Even if he acts like everything is fine, he can't deny there are days where he feels as if time has stopped. Where there's an anger that sits deeper in his heart, that turns both inwards and outward. Where when he gazes into a mirror, he sees that man's eyes staring back at him. ]