[ Fai gets shoved a few steps back, just barely managing to balance himself, though he can't help a slight wince as his ribs twinge in pain from the sudden movement. He'll really feel that later.
But Hector has nothing to ready himself for—Fai continues to stand right in front of the door, his posture relaxed. ]
Because if I don't, you'll keep working until you drop. Plenty of people care about you, so please think of them and go rest. I would rather go restock your guild in your stead or whatever it is you need to do than see you struggle to do it yourself like this.
[ Fai pauses, letting out a sigh. ]
Letting yourself deteriorate will only cause more problems for the people you care about.
[ Hector doesn't know what he's expecting, but this...isn't it. The longer Fai retains composure, the more Hector gets agitated. It can't be the drinking, because he's always fine when he drinks. He never lets it show. Today is just an anomaly. That's all.
Both Yael and Fai—they're both like this. Fai stares him in the face and shows him care, compassion, consideration, and he doesn't know what to do with himself. He can't let—he can't let anyone else work on his behalf, or put themselves in danger in his stead. That's not what he wants. He's the one who bends backwards to help other people. He's the one that will do anything for everyone else. Who is he if he can't help?
Hector makes a face like a cornered animal. Stop looking at him. Stop breaking down his facade. ]
[ He shoots Hector a glare, his lips set in a frown. They're similar in a lot of ways, the two of them, and so Fai speaks only what he knows would make the biggest impact on himself. ]
You think you're helping, but you're only going to make things worse for those who care about you because you're hurting yourself. They'll think you don't really care at all. So... who are you really helping when you're like this? It certainly isn't yourself, and it isn't other people either.
Stop being selfish. Stop trying to sacrifice yourself. You're no hero doing that.
[ It's hypocritical coming from Fai when he's still suffering the fallout of his near death experience, isn't it? Of course it is. But it's because it's Fai that he can say this at all.
[ Every word hurts his ears, and Hector seems to recoil the longer Fai talks. He doesn't want this care. He doesn't like the way Fai digs his bony fingers into the cracks in his facade and pries him open—
He wonders, faintly, if in another world...
He never thought he was trying to be a hero. There's an insatiable fire in him that needs to be doing something, that needs to be working, that needs to be helping in some way. He doesn't know where it comes from. He doesn't know what fuels it. But if he doesn't keep moving, it'll consume him, reduce him to ashes. ]
...
[ He has nothing to say in response, though. How does he explain all of that to someone who's so hell-bent on stopping him from what he wants to do? ]
Fine, I'll sleep. But let me go back to my guild, then. Please.
[ This is a victory, right? It doesn't really feel like one, though, and that's largely because— ]
Call it intuition, but I don't think you'll actually sleep.
[ They're similar in enough ways that Fai sees this as an acquiescence for Hector to get him off his case. How does Fai know? He's done this plenty of times himself. ]
I hope I'm wrong, though.
[ He reaches out lightly knocking Hector in the shoulder with his fist, smiling wearily. Sure, he could get in a literal fight over this with Hector, but he knows a battle of attrition when he sees it. ]
But if I'm right, expect a real punch next time.
[ This, he's completely serious about. His tone might be light, but there's a threat underneath too. ]
[ He will sleep. Eventually. He always does. But maybe it'll be as a result of drinking himself into a coma. Or maybe after smashing things in the guild hall and tiring himself out after crying, from stress. Or maybe he'll go to bed like normal and Fai will have nothing to worry about. Who knows.
Hector doesn't even visibly react to what Fai says. He only blinks a few times as he processes the threat, and his eyes clouds. ]
Yeah, okay.
[ It's impossible to tell if the clouds are anger, or sadness.
He takes a step forward, now ready to be let go. ]
[ Unfortunately for Hector, Fai is perceptive enough to catch the way the look in his eyes change, though he can't tell what the emotion means. Ah, how frustrating. ]
You didn't bother me. I think concern is the better term.
[ He steps aside, but he won't let Hector go without one final thing: ]
...You can stay here, if you want some company. I think Yael can handle a few hours on his own in the infirmary anyway.
[ Fai came here in the first place to grab stuff from his storage to cook, so it's not like he's in a huge rush to get back. But this is his way of extending a hand—it's up to Hector whether or not he'll take it. ]
[ Hector almost stops mid-step when Fai mentions that Yael isn't here. Here he was, worried about making such a ruckus that it would've lured Yael out, too. And now he feels stupid, worried for nothing. ]
...I'll be okay. [ He doesn't take Fai's hand, metaphorically. He doesn't even consider it. He's not going back on his decision. He's going back to guild hall—to sleep, or for how long, he doesn't know—and that's that.
Still, he casts Fai a quick glance. The hard edges around his gaze have eased considerably. ]
Thanks.
[ And he'll make his way past Fai and out of the guild hall. Bye... ]
[ So that's his answer, is it? Hector will continue to do all of this on his own, relying on no one. Fai understands—he can be like that himself, but he's learned that sometimes it's impossible to keep going without any help.
Understanding and being okay with it, however, are two different things. He doesn't look at Hector as he leaves, instead choosing to shake his head.
He reached out, he did what he could. Not running himself into the ground? Well, that's solely up to Hector now, isn't it? ]
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altimit2023-11-05 10:31 pm
no subject
But Hector has nothing to ready himself for—Fai continues to stand right in front of the door, his posture relaxed. ]
Because if I don't, you'll keep working until you drop. Plenty of people care about you, so please think of them and go rest. I would rather go restock your guild in your stead or whatever it is you need to do than see you struggle to do it yourself like this.
[ Fai pauses, letting out a sigh. ]
Letting yourself deteriorate will only cause more problems for the people you care about.
no subject
Both Yael and Fai—they're both like this. Fai stares him in the face and shows him care, compassion, consideration, and he doesn't know what to do with himself. He can't let—he can't let anyone else work on his behalf, or put themselves in danger in his stead. That's not what he wants. He's the one who bends backwards to help other people. He's the one that will do anything for everyone else. Who is he if he can't help?
Hector makes a face like a cornered animal. Stop looking at him. Stop breaking down his facade. ]
Why do you care so much?
no subject
[ He shoots Hector a glare, his lips set in a frown. They're similar in a lot of ways, the two of them, and so Fai speaks only what he knows would make the biggest impact on himself. ]
You think you're helping, but you're only going to make things worse for those who care about you because you're hurting yourself. They'll think you don't really care at all. So... who are you really helping when you're like this? It certainly isn't yourself, and it isn't other people either.
Stop being selfish. Stop trying to sacrifice yourself. You're no hero doing that.
[ It's hypocritical coming from Fai when he's still suffering the fallout of his near death experience, isn't it? Of course it is. But it's because it's Fai that he can say this at all.
He understands. ]
no subject
He wonders, faintly, if in another world...
He never thought he was trying to be a hero. There's an insatiable fire in him that needs to be doing something, that needs to be working, that needs to be helping in some way. He doesn't know where it comes from. He doesn't know what fuels it. But if he doesn't keep moving, it'll consume him, reduce him to ashes. ]
...
[ He has nothing to say in response, though. How does he explain all of that to someone who's so hell-bent on stopping him from what he wants to do? ]
Fine, I'll sleep. But let me go back to my guild, then. Please.
no subject
Call it intuition, but I don't think you'll actually sleep.
[ They're similar in enough ways that Fai sees this as an acquiescence for Hector to get him off his case. How does Fai know? He's done this plenty of times himself. ]
I hope I'm wrong, though.
[ He reaches out lightly knocking Hector in the shoulder with his fist, smiling wearily. Sure, he could get in a literal fight over this with Hector, but he knows a battle of attrition when he sees it. ]
But if I'm right, expect a real punch next time.
[ This, he's completely serious about. His tone might be light, but there's a threat underneath too. ]
no subject
Hector doesn't even visibly react to what Fai says. He only blinks a few times as he processes the threat, and his eyes clouds. ]
Yeah, okay.
[ It's impossible to tell if the clouds are anger, or sadness.
He takes a step forward, now ready to be let go. ]
Sorry. For bothering you.
no subject
You didn't bother me. I think concern is the better term.
[ He steps aside, but he won't let Hector go without one final thing: ]
...You can stay here, if you want some company. I think Yael can handle a few hours on his own in the infirmary anyway.
[ Fai came here in the first place to grab stuff from his storage to cook, so it's not like he's in a huge rush to get back. But this is his way of extending a hand—it's up to Hector whether or not he'll take it. ]
no subject
...I'll be okay. [ He doesn't take Fai's hand, metaphorically. He doesn't even consider it. He's not going back on his decision. He's going back to guild hall—to sleep, or for how long, he doesn't know—and that's that.
Still, he casts Fai a quick glance. The hard edges around his gaze have eased considerably. ]
Thanks.
[ And he'll make his way past Fai and out of the guild hall. Bye... ]
no subject
Understanding and being okay with it, however, are two different things. He doesn't look at Hector as he leaves, instead choosing to shake his head.
He reached out, he did what he could. Not running himself into the ground? Well, that's solely up to Hector now, isn't it? ]