[ Hearing all this fills Hector with a sickening dread. To lose oneself and not realize it... It's pretty obvious what he thinks with the way his brow twitches, how the corners of his mouth pull into a frown.
At this point, he's already talked to Barrett and learned of his "other self." That someone can alter him—anyone so thoroughly sends a ripple of seething rage through him. He hates this. He hates this so much. ]
Excuse my French, but that is fucked up.
[ His fingers curl tighter around his coffee mug. ]
You couldn't have been okay with this, right? How did you feel when "Macha" went away? I'd feel sick.
( His answer is simple, and quiet, like a cold flame. )
I was more angry than I could even express. I was shaking. All of me came back at once. My life before Fragment; how I'd acted as Macha...
( And here his muscles are taut, and his chest is tight, and he feels those flames biting at his throat again; his fury, Macha's heartbreak. Having himself undone for someone's ends, restyled to their delight, again. )
... This isn't the first time someone's done this to me. I didn't forgive it the first time, and I'm not going to forgive it now. But I'm... trying - to hold onto my feelings. If I let my anger guide me, I... wouldn't be sitting with you here right now.
( He'd be out hunting Cubia until he collapsed. But... the people he cares for don't... want that for him. )
[ Oh, Mithrun reacts way worse than he imagines. Where Barrett was subdued—down, even—Mithrun runs white hot, and Hector finds a surprising amount of sympathy in himself for this anger.
But, he also doesn't want Mithrun to make a mess of his guild hall if he lashes out for some reason. So Hector reaches across the table to put his hand on Mithrun's arm. This is not a gesture of comfort. Or a suggestion of camaraderie. This is a reminder to calm down. To save it for when it matters.
Hector's eyes are a piercing blue as they rest on Mithrun's. However faint, there's an icy fire behind them, somewhere. ]
We worked hard to bring you back. I'd hate for something to happen to you before we get to make Cubia pay for what he's done.
[ Translation: Don't do stupid shit. Be at the final fight. ]
I know it's more personal for you. But I think a lot of us have it in for him at this point. You're not alone. ...Just remember that.
[ Hector's right there with him—wanting to hunt down Cubia until he collapsed. But he knows he's powerless as a Harvest Cleric. And he knows they have strength in numbers. He's just...been running himself ragged in other ways. ]
( If he still had his cat tail, he'd be lashing it. But he does, at least, abide by the hand on his arm - and he doesn't take offense to it, either. His anger seems to resign to simmering, though certainly not happily. )
... I won't go anywhere. I'm sticking around so we can kill him. And... after.
( He doesn't sound shounen-hopeful about it, but like it's something he's just accepted as true. )
I'm... going to make it back to the real world. And the rest of you, too.
[ Hector withdraws his hand, glad to have confirmation that Mithrun is going to behave himself. He cups his steaming cup of coffee and lifts it to his lips. ]
Yeah. I want to make sure everyone gets a chance to see what's out there. I'm right there with you.
( Mithrun doesn't particularly care if everyone makes it out, personally - he cares if the handful of people he likes makes it out, really. Unfortunately, about half of that handful of people would be very upset if everyone else did not make it out, so, even more unfortunately, he has to expect the rest of you will make it out, too. )
... Don't get your hopes up too high.
( Exhaling his frustration about Cubia through his teeth, he leans a little further back so he's somewhat sitting straight. )
Fragment, on an objective metric, is a better place, because it's a gilded simulation, and it hasn't been around all that long. ( Give people the rest of the year and they'll be reinventing new life-altering trauma for themselves, if they haven't already. ) I just refuse to live in someone's cage again.
( Not under professor, and not under Cubia. Not a third time. And now that has to be everybody's problem. )
[ As he takes a sip, Hector narrows his eyes slightly over the rim of the cup. That's where they're different—Hector will work for everyone, even the people he doesn't really like. He'll hold onto that hope as long as he can.
Regardless, he's still listening. That last remark has him raise a brow slightly. ]
This isn't the first time this has happened to you?
[ Picks the green arrow dialogue option... Please elaborate, Mithrun. ]
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secondthoughts) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
altimit2023-11-05 10:31 pm
no subject
At this point, he's already talked to Barrett and learned of his "other self." That someone can alter him—anyone so thoroughly sends a ripple of seething rage through him. He hates this. He hates this so much. ]
Excuse my French, but that is fucked up.
[ His fingers curl tighter around his coffee mug. ]
You couldn't have been okay with this, right? How did you feel when "Macha" went away? I'd feel sick.
no subject
... I was angry.
( His answer is simple, and quiet, like a cold flame. )
I was more angry than I could even express. I was shaking. All of me came back at once. My life before Fragment; how I'd acted as Macha...
( And here his muscles are taut, and his chest is tight, and he feels those flames biting at his throat again; his fury, Macha's heartbreak. Having himself undone for someone's ends, restyled to their delight, again. )
... This isn't the first time someone's done this to me. I didn't forgive it the first time, and I'm not going to forgive it now. But I'm... trying - to hold onto my feelings. If I let my anger guide me, I... wouldn't be sitting with you here right now.
( He'd be out hunting Cubia until he collapsed. But... the people he cares for don't... want that for him. )
no subject
But, he also doesn't want Mithrun to make a mess of his guild hall if he lashes out for some reason. So Hector reaches across the table to put his hand on Mithrun's arm. This is not a gesture of comfort. Or a suggestion of camaraderie. This is a reminder to calm down. To save it for when it matters.
Hector's eyes are a piercing blue as they rest on Mithrun's. However faint, there's an icy fire behind them, somewhere. ]
We worked hard to bring you back. I'd hate for something to happen to you before we get to make Cubia pay for what he's done.
[ Translation: Don't do stupid shit. Be at the final fight. ]
I know it's more personal for you. But I think a lot of us have it in for him at this point. You're not alone. ...Just remember that.
[ Hector's right there with him—wanting to hunt down Cubia until he collapsed. But he knows he's powerless as a Harvest Cleric. And he knows they have strength in numbers. He's just...been running himself ragged in other ways. ]
no subject
... I won't go anywhere. I'm sticking around so we can kill him. And... after.
( He doesn't sound shounen-hopeful about it, but like it's something he's just accepted as true. )
I'm... going to make it back to the real world. And the rest of you, too.
no subject
[ Hector withdraws his hand, glad to have confirmation that Mithrun is going to behave himself. He cups his steaming cup of coffee and lifts it to his lips. ]
Yeah. I want to make sure everyone gets a chance to see what's out there. I'm right there with you.
no subject
... Don't get your hopes up too high.
( Exhaling his frustration about Cubia through his teeth, he leans a little further back so he's somewhat sitting straight. )
Fragment, on an objective metric, is a better place, because it's a gilded simulation, and it hasn't been around all that long. ( Give people the rest of the year and they'll be reinventing new life-altering trauma for themselves, if they haven't already. ) I just refuse to live in someone's cage again.
( Not under professor, and not under Cubia. Not a third time. And now that has to be everybody's problem. )
no subject
Regardless, he's still listening. That last remark has him raise a brow slightly. ]
This isn't the first time this has happened to you?
[ Picks the green arrow dialogue option... Please elaborate, Mithrun. ]